Warning: Some Violence and Much Strong Language.SHE WROTE: This Is Bob's Brain on Drugs
Bob's allergy medication appears to have kicked in. The good news is, he's not itching and sneezing any more which will make him so much more attractive on tour.
The bad news is . . .
MY NAME IS JENNY, YOU EXPLETIVE DELETED!
He's doing it on purpose. I can tell because there's a "her and I" in there and he knows that makes me insane. Except he called me Jennie in an e-mail yesterday. A year and a half he's been getting e-mails with "Jenny Crusie" at the top and still he can't spell my name. No, he's doing it on purpose. But it doesn't bother me. AT ALL.
I ask you, is this any time to start yanking my chain?
And I see the killer clowns are back. He used to send me e-mails: "Can't sleep. Clowns will get me."
He keeps this up, the clowns can have him.
34 Comments:
Now battling in my head: The Runaways and Judy Collins: "Ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!" vs. "Send in the clowns"
Brain full!
I'm going to have nightmares about mercenary clowns now, just so you all know.
Try growing up with a name like Corrine. For three years, the boys called my Chlorine to make me mad. :D
Maybe you should steal some of his meds; hey, it's working for him.
Jenny, sicing the clowns on someone is just mean.
Okay, he's jerking your chain and spelling your name wrong, but still, clowns. Man, that's cold.
The song that is now going through my head is John Mellencamp's Cherry Bomb! It's warring with "Send in the Clowns" and seems to be winning.
Poor Bob. At this rate, he's going to wish he was eaten by Moot. If Moot starts looking a little chubby by the end of the tour, make sure Bob is not missing. Don't accept any excuses!
Don't feel bad Jenny people spell my name every way but the right way. I understand.
Erika, Ericka, Erica, Arika . . .
You could always call him Bawb... :)
I'll take the rap for the John Mellencamp reference (heck, I may even have a John Cougar Mellencamp ALBUM!) but not Judy Collins (aargh).
To get that tune out of my head I hunted around - music geek/freak, sorry - and found a Toby Keith tune called She Ran Away with a Rodeo Clown. Love Toby, don't know this tune.
Did you know there was a rap group called Insane Clown Posse? Anyone familiar with this group? (Not I since I have "middle class white girl taste in music" - or so I was once told.)
Maybe those are the clowns chasing Bob.
If so ...
Run, Bob, run.
Insane Clown Posse are good. And not just because they tell the truth about clowns right there in their name.
You know, in Bob's defense, there must be some type of people who just don't get the "y" v "ie" thing. There is a woman I have worked with for 10 years and her name is either Debby or Debbie. Not sure.
Ow! Don't sic the clowns on me!
All I can say is if Bob is still having this much fun with his new medication when the tour starts, Jenny you better be doing the driving. No telling where you all will end up if he drives.
ICP... there's a reference I never expected on here. Think hardcore rap meets performance art. No huge fans over here, but they're different.
He's just a man, he's a bomb.
(thanks to the Who)
Cloraphobia. Fear of Clowns. It is a real affliction. It's not nice to mock those with mental health concerns. Even Bawb. Look at the bright side- he didn't spell it Jennie with the giant smiling face over the i.
i cannot tell you how many times i tell people i'm katy with a y, only to have them spell it with an -ie. teachers i've had for five years, even my aunt.
i sympathize. : ) (how the hell do you spell sympathize?)
any chance that while you guys are in natick, ma next week you'll do an impromptu booksigning there?
Hey. For the first, oh, ten years and four kids, my husband couldn't spell my name to save him.
And it's Karen. Plain old, every-other-woman-born-in-the-fifties-spells-it-the-same-way Karen.
Nope. It was Karon. Or Karyn. Or Karin.
You two have only been working together for, what? Two years?
My advice is to just relax and get used to it, 'cause some things just do not register with the male brain.
And if all else fails, remember: WWBD...
What Would Buffy Do?
Hey, have you thought of a "Where we are" log, while on the tour and blogging? Maybe a SHE WROTE: BLAH - CITY
Somewhere outside Toledo (this is not the beginning of a song from Wizard of Oz), there is a clown car wash. You heard me. You drive in the clown's mouth. Or maybe you exit from the mouth. Something like that. No, I never used it. In the strip mall next to it, however, is an excellent Thai restaurant that is dirt cheap. Or at least this was true 10 years ago.
And, I kid you not, there is a guy in San Francisco who is an S&M clown who also does professional meeting facilitation. I'm not kidding. Go google it (if you're over 18): "Ouchy the Clown." I've never seen him myself, nor do I wish to, but a friend told me about him: the guy dresses in a black men's speedo and a leather harness and clown makeup. And does business mediation. And other things (if you're into that and over 18). This whole concept just disturbs me, so I thought I'd share so everyone else could be equally disturbed.
Perhaps this is the real reason Jenny and Baubb are not coming to California on their tour?
Bombs away...
"Hey. For the first, oh, ten years and four kids, my husband couldn't spell my name to save him.
And it's Karen. Plain old, every-other-woman-born-in-the-fifties-spells-it-the-same-way Karen.
Nope. It was Karon. Or Karyn. Or Karin."
Yes, but to him you aren't "plain old" anything. You're unique and exotic and amazing, and therefore your name must be just as unusual. It's not that he wasn't paying attention, it's just that an every day spelling didn't compute!
Not to worry! I have the antidote for crankiness. It is also effective in mitigating stress. In fact, I think it should be the DLD tour official dessert: CHERRY BOMBE. Contains lovely things like chocolate, cherries, heavy cream--here's a decent recipe http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/cda/recipe_print/0,1946,FOOD_9936_26009_PRINT-RECIPE-FULL-PAGE,00.html
Also liquor in the cherry bombe. How could I have forgotten to mention such a crucial ingredient?
There is a Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army. They turned up at the recent G8 and Make Poverty History events in Scotland. They wear a mixture of camouflage and clowning gear.
www.clownarmy.org
Bob's not that far wrong. But as far as I know their protests are completely non-violent.
Weariness does strange things to the brain. Twenty years ago, I was a supermarket cashier, and I needed to call a guy to come and bag groceries. I saw this guy every day at school, I must have called him a hundred times before, he even mooned me once, but at this moment, I could not remember his name. I was finally reduced to calling out, "Hey, somebody come help bag groceries at register three!"
Then, I remembered his name.
(-: Today, I can remember his face, and even his hairy butt, but his name is going to bother me for the rest of the evening.
The Cherry Bombs could take one for the team and spray seltzer at him. That kind of makes for a good slogan:
The Cherry Bombs: Taking One for the Team.
Here's what you do about the name problem. Start calling Bob Robert or some other such spin off. I've worked for the same company for 17 years and most people still write my name Sandi. I started emailing people back with different variations of their names. Like Brian is Brain. It makes me feel better, anyway.
My mother, Kathie, has been a member of our church for 31 years, the minister's wife for 15 of them, and is still frequently referred to in writing as Kathy or Cathy more frequently than by her own spelling.
On the subject of clowns - Why has no one mentioned Terry Pratchett's Guild of Fools? He tells us straight out that clowns are supposed to scare us, to make us see how much better our lives are by comparison.
"A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants."
Bob, did you have an unfortunate experience reading Stephen King's "It"?
As far as names, nobody ever mispells Mary. However, for most of my life many have combined my first and last names and called me Mary Stella as if it's Mary Ann, Mary Beth, etc. I sound like a nun.
Or they skip the Mary completely and call me Stella -- usually imitating Brando in Streetcar. (Like I've never heard THAT before. LOL)
At least nobody will ever incorrectly spell Moot's name.
In defense of all us idiots who get peoples names wrongs - My best friend is Tricia and for 3 years I spelled her name Trisha because I just never noticed how she spelled it.(I usually just abbreviated it as Trish - which was right) Once she actually pointed out I was spelling it wrong I haven't missed it since.
TGIF - and I SO know it is definitely without a doubt unequivically Friday.
A brief moment of sharing:
As I was expressing my extreme yanking-my-hair-out-by-the-roots-frustration with a collaborative project/committee to a co-worker via email this morning, I mentioned, in jest, that I may end up buying a wig to go replace the hair and fulfill secret hankering to be a blonde.
Her response?
Go get one of those big curly wigs, a pair of glasses with a nose and/or maybe a mustache, and a pair of big shoes to run. Huh. What does that sound like to the rest of you?
I'm a little freaked.
Possibly it's time to step away from the cheery cherry bomb blog.
Or, maybe I'll just go get some chocolate.
I love "Bawb." Much like Sandy posted above, when people spell my name with an 'h' I'll throw an 'h' on the end of their name. In that vain, Bob could become Bobbie.
Fortunately my local Borders store has a habit of putting books out early, so when I went by last night I was able to buy a copy of DLD, and stayed up until 2am reading it. I really enjoyed it, much more than Bet Me (sorry, haven't read any of Bob's previous stuff, so I can't compare). Minor things bugged me when I was thinking about it (if Wilder's a teacher, why is he always thinking about what his instructors would have yelled at him, instead of what he'd yell at his students?), but the nitpicky stuff came later, after I'd finished the book. At the time I was too absorbed in the story to care. At first I wasn't sure if I'd like Wilder, but he turned out to be a real person, not a romance-stereotyped SEAL. Oops, I mean... well, never mind.
I can count on two hands the authors that I'll buy in hardcover, and still have fingers left over. So for me to say that it was worth the money is sincerity straight from the pocketbook! Really looking forward to Agnes -- write faster!
Jenny, you could always make a gift of Bob to Catherine Asaro.
*Mole strolls off humming "Cathy's Clown"*
Whoa - this is giving me Pennywise flashbacks from IT.
Well Jenny now ya'll will just have to watch "Killer Clowns from Outer Space" to get that fear of Clowns over and done with!
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