Warning: Some Violence and Much Strong Language.HE WROTE: Bob Chokes
Thank you Jane, you almost killed me. I just got back from the fitness center and was swallowing my vitamin, drinking some water and reading the comments on the blog when I found your comment reference your research on Elizabeth Bishop: she had "a method subtle and flexible enough to be the same thing as an absence of any method whatever."
I choked on my vitmain when I read that. I'm still coughing.
BTW: Jenny is never going to hear the end of that one. It's replacing the Korean Restaurant story. I'm going to turn to Jenny constantly and say. You know, regarding, Elizabeth Bishop, I'm sure she was a very sweet woman, but she had a method . . .
Which will really get me killed around the fourth or fifth time.
58 Comments:
Check it out - you got a great review at Barnes & Noble (http://www.barnesandnoble.com/newsletters/newsletters_cds2.asp?r=1&pid=836)
Beautiful... never have enough ammo or enough limes ;-)
Hey, that line's from the NYT Book Review story where they dished up Bishop as the (dead) Second Coming...
And where DO they get off with that, anyway? She published 90 poems and then she died. She took perfectionism a little far if you ask me.
Love the newsletter, finally got it this morning!
Bob, good for you taking your vitamin!
Jenny, are you taking yours?
You're still coughing, I'm still chuckling, and if you replace the Korean restaurant story with the Elizabeth Bishop method I won't be able to say my name when I meet you two in Kansas City for fear of being attacked by Jenny with the Moot snoot, which I hear closely resembles a knife.
Thanks for all the laughs. Serious is overrated. Which is okay because even your "serious" stuff is fun.
Bob, there is no choking on book tours.
I got the newsletter, too!
Although, I will admit I'm not spreading the word. I am, in fact, hoarding the word, because my roommate has a tendency to take my books to work with her so that when I come home THERE'S NO BOOK and if she did that to my DLD there might be bloodshed. So to prevent being convicted of involuntary manslaughter (I'd plead it down. The judge would understand) I've been reading my DLD and hiding it whenever she's around.
I'll spread the word after I finish. I swear. Cherry Bomb's Honor.
Loving the book, btw!
Lindsey
BTW, Bob, Got my copy of Bodyguard of Lies and started it last night. FABULOUS! And I'm learning lots of stuff about weapons which, who knows, may come in handy someday. Never pass up an opportunity to learn how to snuff someone in a professional manner, I always say. So of course I'll have to start looking for your backlist.
So many books, so little time. If only this whole earning a living thing didn't take up so much of my day. *sigh*
Ok, SOMEONE help me. For the first time in weeks it's NOT RAINING here, so I can walk across the pedestrian bridge at lunch and go to Borders and look at books. Yeah, I already have DLD and have read, but somewhere--and I don't remember if it was on comments here, or in a blog entry, or on cherryforums--someone asked which was the best Bob book for CBs to start with and Jenny answered saying there was one with two female protagonists and now I DON'T REMEMBER WHERE I saw that, but I can go to the bookstore in a few hours and...
Help. And tell me what name to look Bob up under while you're at it or I'll be lost in Borders without a map. I love getting lost in bookstores, but since I only have 6 more workdays at this job, maybe best to actually get a few things done. Keeping up appearances and all...
That would be Bodyguard of Lies under the name Robert Doherty. Enjoy!
Ah. Thanks Phenila. Much obliged.
This blog, or perhaps DLD, is having a strange effect on me. My CEO is 4 days late with an article for our next newsletter (which I edit) and I told him that if he didn't get it to me, I'd have the snipers after him at dawn. Bob, this is YOUR FAULT.
Luckily, I know the CEO's not really deadline-oriented and gave him a deadline 2-1/2 weeks in advance of my real cut-off date, because I knew this would happen.
But I believe the CEO was also once French military, so maybe I better mind what I say...
Glamour-Geek - funny you should ask: see my post above. You'll love it. Starts right out with this great scene where the gal is taking out bad guys. And she's got this fab coat. Bob probably didn't intend that to be a talking point. Now he'll know better.
Speaking of talking points ... its the TA DA!
I got my copy of DLD from Amazon yesterday, but couldn't start it until after 10PM because I had to do at-home Constitutional Law exam -so thanks Bob & Jenny for the sleep deprivation I'm suffering from today. I just finished reading it and am now paying it my ultimate compliment - I've started back at beginning and am immediately rereading it.
P.S. Love the dedication!
I swear to God, even though I'm gonna see you guys in Arizona in a few weeks (yes, you're going to Arizona), I'm almost tempted to drive up to Savannah just to catch this lunacy beforehand.
Because I'm not so sure both of you are going to be alive by Arizona...
Darn it, my post died in transit. grumble grumble. Now to recreate...
Bob - thanks for the squirrel post. Classic! My co-workers once again think I'm crazy as a loon from me giggling while staring at the computer screen. I'll also echo what some others have said. If you feel like posting funny or giddy, go ahead. If you, or Jenny for that matter, feel serious and wish to share the finer points of your craft with us, go ahead with that, too.
Jane - I'm glad to see there's going to be another Cherry Bomb at the KC signing! A friend and I are driving down from Des Moines (we're making a weekend of it). You should be able to recognize us since we'll be the ones having waaaay too much fun for no reason.
Toodles!
Send me an email before noon (eastern US time) on Friday to darby.jan at gmail.com, and I'll see what I can do about getting you a bookplate signed. No promises, but I'll try. I'll be in Natick for this weekend's signing.
Oh, shoot, I forgot the blog added "said" after my header. Not trying to impersonate Marcia at all, just trying to get her attention.
Watch out for the killer vitamins. You know they are in cahoots with the clowns and the SMP hitwomen. Have a good time this weekend. We're all cheering for you.
Hugs.
Just read the e-mail newsletter...delightful and appreciated.Thanks for all the fun and repartee in the blogs...love to read them.
Brooke, really, I didn't claim to write the line. I googled Elizabeth Bishop and found the line. Thought I'd share it because it was so bizarre.
The quote was by Italo Calvino, "one of Italy's finest postwar writers." (Google again.) He also said, "the function of literature is communication between things that are different simply because they are different..."
jan darby - THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I'll get that e-mail out to you this evening. I am so jealous that you get to The Jenny & Bob Show in person.
Represent the CB's for us. (Watch for talking points and ask for Moot!)
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
Hey, here's an idea. Would you please consider recording the Bawb and Jenny Show? Please? Pretty please? Pretty please With Cherry Bombs on top? Jenny, you made the comment that you were surprised that someone drove 3 hours to see you. I'm honestly thinking of FLYING to see you because I'm laughing hysterically at this blog. I MUST hear this live. (New favorite line: I feel the pain emanating through the ethos of the shared consciousness of all peaceful beings.)
There has to be some way to record one and post it as an MP3 on the site.
If only you were doing stuff on the weekends when I was free.....
Glad to hear that Bob hasn't given up everything. He's still hydrating with the water, exercising, and taking his vitamins. However, he might need to reconsider his timing on the water/vitamins.
This Blog should come with a warning: Side Effects may include: choking, gasping for breath, uncontrollable giggles, snorts, and cravings for chocolate.
Use caution when reading blog in a public place.
Seriously, I think the primary reason for the success of the blog and for the Cherrybomb explosion is because Jenny and Bob are so available on the blog. Who dares wins. And, in this case we all win. (Serious enough Bob?)
Proud to be a Cherrybomb!
Cherry Bombs,
A couple innovative CB's said something about contacting Oprah and Ellen about THE BOB AND JENNY SHOW. Bob and Jenny might not thank us (book tours are bad enough but TV?) however, it could be fun (for us, not Bob and Jenny).
lbooth
How did you get lost when you grew up there???
I've never heard of Elizabeth Bishop either.
Watch those killer pills--though it would sell a lot of books for a forner Green Beret to die of laughter on a book tour.
So...I just finished DLD this morning--which was great, I loved it, I may name my first child Pepper--and I have a question.
Maybe I'm missing something--which has been known to happen--but if Wilder arrives on the set after being flown in from Bragg, where does his Jeep come from? Who drove it in?
Also, I have forgotten the tour dates and locations. Does anyone know if San Francisco or the Bay Area is on the list? Cause I would like to go and buy another copy to get signed and listen to the Bob and Jenny Show. Assistance would be much appreciated.
Richa, click over to the crusieMayer.com website, and they have an event schedule tab. Click there, and you'll get a current schedule.
Richa, no SF or Bay Area visit (wah!), but I'm in Oakland...we could see if there are other local CBs and have a DLD cocktail party somewhere... In which case I need to decide what my most fabulous shoes are and wear those, because CBs would appreciate them more than mere mortals.
I am "emily" over at cherryforums (even though I haven't posted or introduced myself or anything). Send me a PM, we'll coordinate.
well, guys, if the book (which I have ordered from Amazon) is anything like the blog, I will be laughing out loud for days on end. Good luck with the rest of the tour!
Tracey in Maryland
#1 on Amazon Romance
#9 on Amazon Literature
Wow! Congrats.
I can't wait to see you guys tonight at the signing!
Good to hear you guys are having fun and helpless laughter on the tour.
Please, stop worrying about what you say, how much you each say, and where you stand! If you haven't figured it out by now, we love you. Every "show" is different, every talk at every conference is different, but the two of you are always YOU, generously sharing yourselves with your devoted slightly-over-the-edge-of-devotion CBs. We are so grateful to you for taking time from all the books you're in the midst of writing, to meet with so many of us.
I wonder why SMP isn't sending you on tour stops in the West in conjunction with your Desert Dreams (AZ) conference appearance? Not all of us can fly into Phoenix that weekend.
(And I think Jenny's account of Bob's driving commentary seemed entirely rational. Doesn't everyone give helpful suggestions to other drivers and pedestrians who aren't quite bright enough to figure things out for themselves?)
Hope the rest of the tour goes just as well. Or better. No more Speen incidents.
glamour-geek
I work in Oakland. I definitely feel a celebration coming due.
I'm putting Bob's irrational driving behaviour down to his lack of sleep. Did you see the date stamp on his post? 7:29am! By which time, he had exercised in the fitness centre, showered, changed, taken his vitamin and logged on to do all that techie nerd stuff. How does he do it? Unless of course he is an Electric Bob? A replicant programmed to do book tours whilst the real one goes off and has a good kayak. I think that we should be told.
marcia in OK and glamour-geek: thanks for the tip.
glamour-geek: Cool! I'm in Mountain View, down on the peninsula. The local-CB-cocktail-party idea sounds like a good one; look for a cherryforums message soon.
About the shoes, I have a confession to make: fabulous shoes are, for me, phenomena that happen to other people. I do have the standard chick obsession with them--at least, I like them more than guys do--but I am allergic to high-heels (which are also against my religion), and so I must, tragically, vicariously live through others' fabulous shoe experiences.
richa, yes but flats can be fabulous too. I have a gorgeous suede pair in a sort of beigey-colour with, get this, pink appliqued flowers with leaves and gold highlighting and a heel of less than an inch and a half. Now, you may think they sound hideous from that description but, trust me, they are amazing and very wearable. My latest pair of boots also have a lowish heel of one and a quarter inches but they're divine. Plum suede close-fitting knee boots with a suede-covered heel and white contrast stitching and a little button on the outer part of the top edge of each boot. Amazing and they were in the sale so were practically a bargain. And they even match something I already own so I don't have to buy extra clothes. Lucky, eh? Now, I am not saying that I don't lust after an amazing pair of Georgina Goodman heels in black snakeskin as well but I don't think that you should discount the flatter styles out of hand.
There is a fabulous shoe experience out there for everyone. So, take heart.
I don't think Bob ever anticipated one of his blog entries being responded to with discussions of ladies footwear. Oh Bob...welcome to estrogen-land.
Shoes. Never was a shoe girl. Then I started taking Argentine tango classes. Nothing will turn you into a shoe fetishist faster than taking up Argentine tango. A friend was in Buenos Aires recently and I sent him to one specific store and he's brought back two pairs for me and two for my shopping co-conspirator. I get to meet my new shoes on the 15th (I think).
mq, cb: Georgina Goodman shoes ON SALE at the Billion Dollar Babes sample sale in San Francisco tomorrow and Sat. Be sure I will be inspecting. I TOOK THE DAY OFF WORK so I can go to the sample sale. For those not in the know: check out BillionDollarBabes.com for the cities they have sales in in the US, 4 times a year, free entry but you have to RSVP in advance. Also in London and Dublin, I believe. Many of the sizes are teeny, but some are not and with some things at 1/4 retail, worth looking. Even if I'm close to the top of the age range of attendees.
And just so I'm remotely on topic, walked over to Borders at lunch, bought Bodyguard of Lies, dutifully turned one of the two copies of DLD so cover was visible, and told the cashier about DLD (2 out of 6 talking points not bad in a quick monetary exchange where others are waiting on line) and he promised to go check it out.
Quit my job recently; my last day of work is the 14th. If Bay Area CBs contact me via cherryforums I will coordinate a cocktail meeting. Maybe I'll even start a thread so we can discuss.
Ooof. Sorry for the excess bandwidth here!
Oh, oh oh- I just found out my little (really little) local bookstore is a Times reporting store. So do I order one copy this week and one next, or two in one week so it gets picked up by both Booksense and NY Times lists?
Well, Christina, it's good for him see because he's still stuck on the whole brown/black thing. We have to offer him an opportunity to learn.
Do you worry that if this continues there will be a bus load of Cherry Bombs trailing behind you and Jenny on the tour? We'll rent a bus and paint it up like the Partridge Family. Every so often a voice from way in the back will say "what the heck are we doing on Speen again?"
Picked up my copy of DLD at Rainy Day Books in KC - saw their reservation list - looks like a full house for you on May 4th!
Can't wait to see you both - Love the Blog. Am I automatically a Cherrybomb or is there an initiation? I'm a veterinarian, any Moot points if I find and treat an injured squirrel?
Skirt picture!
Skirt picture!
Skirt picture!
(Just to keep it in the loop. Ignoring us won't make us go away.)
Melanie makes an excellent point. What happened to the skirt picture? What does a "Special Forces solution" mean anyway? No utility kilt or did you do a Jack Lemmon?
Mq, cb
You've gotta record the Jenny and Bob show! I am no where near any of your signings and I am DYING to see it! You could even just makes a load of copies to sell and then you'd be RICH!
Eileen, you're a genius!
Richa, there's a religion that doesn't allow high heels? I know it's not Catholicism, Judaism, Islam or the Church of the FSM... do tell, I gotta know!
We bypassed the hotel today because I saw the Speen St sign, started laughing and got us hopelessly lost on Walnut and Chestnut streets because I had now added the squirrel factor. If that's Bob behind me waiting for the Internet, I apolgize - had to feed the addiction.
Cherry Magic Sheryl
inkgrrl: It's new and very small still (has a congregation of one), but we are currently recruiting new members (converts?). Membership is guaranteed provided you can pass the harrowing initiation rite: you must own at least one pair of disreputable running shoes.
Mq, cb: take heart, hah. Did I mention my freakishly large feet? I mean really. Most regular shoe stores don't carry anything in my size. My feet are average sized for a guy, though, so I buy a lot of men's shoes. Comfortable and reasonably attractive? Sure. Fabulous? Not so much.
But I'm not nearly so upset about this as I sound. There are one or two things I can think of that are worse than being forced to buy comfortable shoes. ;)
Ha, speaking of shoes, does anybody read Manolo's Shoe Blog (no, not that Manolo)? If you haven't, you must. And be sure to check out The Gallery of the Horrors. The Manolo, he is a genius!
The signing was a lot of fun! (even if it was someone masquerading as Bob in a chat room all those years ago...)
Bob survives years of combat only to be taken out by a Cherry Bomb Chick and a vitamin.
I think Bob is definitely 'skirting' the issue of that picture...
(Sorry. Had to say it.)
"Someone masquerading as Bob in a chat room all those years ago. . . "?
Spill it ohhjuliet - that had to be an inside story from the signing. It isn't nice to tease us that way!
I think the blog ate my post, so I shall try again.
I have never been to a signing, so I must inquire as to the etiquette. I have given out 3 books already to friends, who have heard the talking points for weeks. After reading them, they all want their books signed also. Is it tacky to take 4 books to be signed and get Moot stamped? I don't want to get thrown out of the Cherry Bombs.
Jenny and Bob- 1 hour away- can't go..*gack*
Jenny and Bob- 2 hours away- can't go..*gasping*
Jenny and Bob- 4 1/2 hours away and a husband who will drive me there...priceless!
Should I bring cookies- or is the sugar thing off for real?
Careful, Bob. Choking draws fire.
Glamour-geek and Richa-
I'm in the SF Bay area, too. I think the cocktail party is a great idea-- what's the chance we could get a taped Jenny and Bob show? That would be fun. Imagine the drinking games-- a shot every time Bob mentions the Korea, er.. I mean Elizabeth Bishop Story. Or one for each talking point. Heck, make it two.
cherrybombs away!
mollitoff: PM me (emily) at cherryforums with your email address and I'll add you to the list of contacts for Bay Area CB cocktails.
That goes for others in the Bay Area, too. You, cherrybomb. Yes, you. You know you want to.
The Bob and Jenny drinking game. *shakes head* It had to happen eventually.
Richa: We were fated to meet. I also read Manolo's shoe blog.
"Mq, cb: take heart, hah. Did I mention my freakishly large feet?"
No, but even if they were freakishly large (which I am sure they are not - presumably you are tall? If so your feet are merely in proportion to the rest of you) this need not be a problem. There are stores in the UK, including Faith and (I think) Office, that stock up to a UK size 9 (a US 11). They do mail order. Would that do?
Toni -of course you can get lost somewhere you grew up in. I got lost in my highschool my senior year, didn't I?
Ooo!
You'll never guess how good our town's recognition of your book is!
I was reading while biking down a kind of busy street (your hardcover, while gorgeous, is very hard to hold with one hand when you need the hand for braking, too, by the way. I quit trying after the third time I fell off, and just walked the thing so I could keep reading) with the jacket off (it was windy, and kept blowing into the page! Stay out of my killzone, bookjacket! Beautiful you might be, but you have no significant writing on you!) and THREE cars heading the OPPOSITE WAY recognized your book!
Someone from one yelled, "Don't Look Down!" Someone from another yelled "That better not be the last copy!" -I was coming out of Border's parking lot for that one- and the last one said "Go Moot!"
I am NOT kidding!
Awesome, no?
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