SHE WROTE: One More Day . . .

. . . before the storm . . .
That damn song from Les Miz keeps running through my head. And of course, they all died.

Trying to get the house together so I can leave without guilt. (Just FYI, neither of our houses will be empty. People in them (yes, we have lives you don't know about) and dogs. Bob has a German Shepherd that will go for your throat, and I have two mutts and a mutant dachshund that will paw at your knees, shed all over you, and then pee on you from the excitement. That stops most people at the door. The ones that get past meet the two cats, Crazy Annie and Chuck the Thug.) I have to make sure the guestroom is cleaned up because after the NYC area and the Boston area, we're doing the Cincy area which means Bob will be in the guestroom. He likes it up there. It has its own TV with a leather LaZBoy and a fridge full of bottled water (he's giving up beer) and a microwave with microwave popcorn in the cabinet, a private bathroom, and a phone connection so he can e-mail me downstairs. The guestroom is the only thing up there so it's like I'm not even in the same building. He likes that.

And then there's packing which is easier since Mollie flew in from NYC to go through my closets and throw out everything that "doesn't do anything for you." Goodwill is about to get lucky. And I am ashamed at how many clothes I've managed to accumulate over the years. ("You can't get rid of that, I've had that since you were a baby!" "Ma, I'm thirty." "See? It's VINTAGE.") The most wrenching of all? She said I couldn't keep any shoes that didn't fit in my shoe shelves and they only hold fifty pair. So I lost twenty-nine pair of shoes to Goodwill including three pair of Manolos. Yes, I know this is what brought Imelda Marcos down, but shoes are a professional expense for me. You wouldn't believe how many people say, "Let me see your shoes" ever since I wrote Bet Me. And usually my shoes are fabulous, too. (Bob does not get the shoe thing. I have tried and tried to explain it, but I think he's missing that gene.) I'm a little worried about the brown heels I'm wearing for the tour because they're plain but they're gorgeous, even Mollie liked them, so we'll see. I pretty much let Mollie have her way with my shoe stash, but some of them I fought for. I have these great high heeled sneakers, and she almost passed out from disgust when she saw them, but I threw my body in front of them and she gave up. She kept trying to get rid of my gold sandals, too, but I managed to keep those. But I had the cutest pair of turquoise moccasins that she ripped out of my hands and said, "Not until you're in the retirement home, Ma," and threw into the Goodwill bag. And my favorite Manolos, the ones I LOVED, she took from me and said, "They're dead. Look at them, you've worn them out. Buy new ones, for the love of God." I said, "New ones? What are we, made of money?" but she pointed out that if I'd worn them that long, they'd clearly been worth the money and I should get more. Problem is, THEY DON"T KEEP MAKING THE SAME ONES. I'm still in mourning for them. They were the BEST heels EVER.

I know, get over it.

So now packing. Here's how that goes. We'll only be out for a week before we do the Cincy part of the tour so it's easy packing right now. There are two signings in the NYC metro area so I need two different jackets but I can use the same pair of pants. (I'm taking the brown jacket with the turquoise accents even though Mollie didn't like it because I do. She says it does nothing for me. Sigh.) Then a very funky long sweater and skirt set that's really comfortable that's good for driving up to Boston, stopping for stock signings, that stuff. Then there are two different signings in Boston plus a conference, so the key there is the same two jackets but radically different tops under them so they look different since I'm going to see some of these people four times in a row at the signings and conferences. So that's at least four different shirts/sweaters/Ts/whatever, two jackets, one pair of good brown pants, one skirt, one sweater. Underwear, hose, shoes: brown heels, brown comfy flats, plus a brown leather purse big enough to put Moot in for travel. Books Bob has to sign so I can send them to Lani at Literary Chicks. Meg's birthday present. My copy of Guards Guards! because Bob has to start reading Pratchett so he can see how much he's like Vimes. That all goes in the checked bag which would fit in the overhead if I wasn't toting so much other stuff.

Then there's the smaller bag which is now the overhead bag. It gets my make-up/soap/bathroom stuff which I keep packed in its bag at all times because it's easier that way since I'm always getting on some damn plane to go somewhere. The iPod/cellphone/camera/general tech stuff in its bag, also packed all the time. My pyjamas, one change of underwear, one clean top because sometimes the airline loses my checked bag. Kashi bars so I won't buy candy on the road. The Moot stamps and ink pads and Sharpies for the signings. My jewelry pouch. Moot. (Yes, she's already packed.)

Then my quilted carryon that goes under the seat. It has my black purse with all my stuff in it, my laptop, the projector for our presentations in Boston, notebooks, post-its, pens, my glasses, my copy of Fast Women in paperback because I think I'm going to do a sequel and I have to reread it, a folder with my notes for the Mare book, a folder with my notes for Agnes in it because you know Bob's going to make me work, and whatever magazines arrive right before I walk out the door. Not that I ever read magazines on the plane, Bob, I work EVERY MINUTE. Oh, and the extra battery for my laptop just in case. And Kashi bars and a bottle of water. I'm telling you, that bag is HEAVY. Thank God once I get off the plane, Bob will be carrying it. The other two are on rollers so it doesn't matter. I'd love to get all of that in two bags so I don't have to check luggage, but I don't see it happening. And I'm getting to LaGuardia half an hour before Bob so I'll be waiting around anyway.

Then there's the jacket and jeans I'll be wearing on the plane. Jeans are actually iffy for this trip because we have a booksiging Monday night so if they lose my bag I'll be signing in jeans. Might have to rethink that. Hmmm.

I know I've forgotten something. Which is why I packed two days before instead of the night before.

I can't believe she threw out my favorite heels.

One more day.

Meanwhile I know exactly what Bob's packing: Everything Mollie got him when we were in NYC for the photo shoot, plus his laptop, a copy of Double Indemnity because he's hipped on us watching it because of the gender dynamics, and a plastic spoon. Sometimes life does not seem fair.

On the other hand, his shoes will not be as good as mine.

(Yes, I know he misspelled my name again. This is why the correct spelling will be written on his forehead in magic marker for the booksigning.)

(Top secret: For a place to discuss the book (and thank you for the great review AMC, plus I like your theaters), try the Book Discussion thread on www.CherryForums.com sometime around Tuesday. They're the new bulletin boards which aren't open to the public yet in the sense that we're not telling anybody about them except for the people on the Cherry Yahoo lists, but the beta test is almost done, and Mollie thinks they'll be open quietly for business on Apr. 4, and you're family, too, so I think you should get to go over there when the lists do. Don't tell anybody else because she's trying to get people on there slowly so the mods aren't overwhelmed before she puts it on the home page and tells the world. Of course, if everybody here goes over there, she'll kill me, but that's what she gets for throwing out my shoes.)