Warning: Some Violence and Much Strong Language.SHE WROTE: Or Not
So there was a big storm here last night, the dogs and I spent part of it in the basement stairwell because this whole damn house is made of glass and things were crashing against it. This morning: beautful. I get everything done, get in the truck, right on schedule except, uh, tree across my lane. Much phoning back and forth, later flight, Val coming to pick me up from forty miles away because the cab is charging $280, getting ready to lift my bags over the tree and crawl out to the highway when Val calls: May be a problem.
George Bush is throwing out the first ball at the Reds game. Which is between here and the airport.
I didn't like him BEFORE this.
So assuming I get past Bush's security and make it to the airport, I will arrive in NYC in time to take the car out to Long Island and do the Bob and Jenny Show WHICH WE HAVEN"T EXACTLY WRITTEN YET. We were gonna do that this afternoon.
Of course, that may not be a problem since the storm that damn near took out my house is due to hit NYC right about the time I'm landing.
If I make it to that signing tonight, I don't want to hear ONE WORD about I look like I've been rode hard and put away wet. ARGH.
32 Comments:
Oh flower, that's awful but it's not an omen for the tour or anything like that. It's just One of Those Things. Anyway, Bob's going to fix The Bob and Jenny Show, isn't he? It'll be fine. He'll be eager to fix everything in fact because it'll be a relief from thinking about how come he agreed to let some daft woman put him in a skirt for a photoshoot, I mean what was he thinking? So, instead of beating himself up about that, Bob will fix it.
You just take a deep breath and say thank you to Val who sounds like a true friend. I'm sure that she'll get you to the airport on time.
But you have a truck do you? So does this mean that you are really are a redneck? I have to ask these questions - redneck to an English person means the Dukes of Hazzard and I have trouble visualising a sensible person like you in those teeny-tiny Daisy Duke hotpants. In fact, are they hotpants or shorts ...?
Sorry, who cares? Don't forget your ticket and just head for that plane. You'll be fine.
Poor Jenny.
Stupid tree.
Stupid Bush.
What the hell did the Reds do to deserve Bush?
You mean to say that you have previously been told that you looked as though you had been "rode hard and put up wet"? By Bawb? And you are still writing together? This puts the tour in a whole new light.
Big hug.
I'm sure that everyone will be so happy thay you're there that they won't care if you look like you've been rode hard and put away wet.
Hey, good luck with everything. As soon as I read the storm had hit Ohio I went uh oh, left the news and came to the blog. Glad you and house survived, the rest will take care of itself. Try to grab a nap on the plane, you were probably up all night. Have a happy and safe tour.
Oh, Jenny, don't worry about the small stuff. We're not going to be there for the clothes. We'll be there for you 'cuz you've been there for us with books and blogs.
I'm thrilled to have the chance to meet you. You could sing the "Diva Song" or tap dance in spangly tights (wait -- maybe Bob should tap dance in tights and the mystery skirt). You could just be snarky. Doesn't matter. Whatever you do, you'll both be brilliant. And no pressure. None. Nada. Zip.
See you in Peabody.
See, ubergeekmom is going to be there, cheering you both on. Everybody's rooting for you.
It's going to be fine. Better than fine, in fact. Brilliant. Now, go to it.
Repeat after me, everything will be fine. No worries, remember:
* We love you
* We love Bob
* We love the book
* We love the blog
You may get lucky and pick off a Cub player on the way to the airport. Could help the Reds.
No matter how tempting, don't hit the secret service SUV's, it will just delay getting to the airport.
The Bob & Jenny show will go splendidly. You're pros!
Warm, fuzzy thoughts headed your way.
ps to mq,cb
Please, oh please, don't watch the Dukes of Hazzard ... why is that still on TV? aargh
Having two flights delayed last week due to thunderstorms, I really feel for you. Sincere wishes for a speedy and on time flight.
Go ahead.
Wing the SS guy.
Show up Icky.
Bob-mix brown and black.
We don't care as long as you WRITE!
You guys ARE rockstars!!!!!
lbooth
Hmm. A tree and a Bush gave Jenny problems making her flight. Next there will be an evacuation at a plant nearby. Maybe an overturned flower truck will block the road.
I sense a trend.
Take heart, Jenny. Anything that starts out with difficulties invariably improves right after. It's all roses from here on out!
Mary
(Who clearly doesn't care that puns are supposed to be the lowest form of humor. *g*)
Lynn, don't know why DoH is still on tv.
Mostly it's on digital channels in the UK, presumably as cheap filler I suppose. It was huge when I was a kid though back in the ... ahem, some time ago.
And of course now it has this whole retro appeal, not least because the principal characters are in that Superman show - Smallville (and they have that self-conscious self-referential thing going on) - plus it's the sort of things people (not me, probably young people) play drinking games to. You know, take a sip of beer everytime uses some CB slang, that kind of thing.
Nevertheless, if you were to say "redneck", that's probably what people here would think of or possibly Rod Steiger or something like that.
You're going to tell me that I've now insulted everyone in a whole great swathe of the continental US now, aren't you? Oh dear.
I'm with lbooth except on the brown-black thing. Bob - no.
Anyway, enough of this drama. What happened with the skirt picture? Bob, is all this just Jenny helping you out, because you're wimping out on the picture? You see, I can say this because there's a whole great big enormous, hell, gi-normous ocean between you and me. And I am not scared of your little finger at all. Not one whit. So there.
Talk about a Foul Ball, doen't Bush have better things to do? Bob (in the skirt of course) would be a much better choice.
Be safe, be well, take chances on your trip!
Forgot to mention, he(Dubya) probably throws like girl!
Someone needs a "poor baby". Its going to be fine Jenny, you know it will. Stop stressing. Blame Bush. I do. For pretty much everything.
to MQ, CB: redneck generally refers to folks who live outside urban areas, drive pick up trucks, wear tractor caps, and chew tobacco. And they don't usually look much like Bo or Luke. More like Cooter. And the women tend to have big hair, usually bleached.
Jenny,
So things may seem two steps away from insanity, but you've got the Cherries and the CherryBombs solidly behind you. We thrive on insanity.
We're all sending warm fuzzies and positive energy your way.
Deb, but Bob doesn't right? I mean even if the Atlantic Ocean in the way, I wouldn't dare to say that he threw like a girl. That may be a Step Too Far.
Margarita Cherry - so are rednecks trash? Or is that something different? What about Britney Spears, for example?
Jenny, really, no one cares what you wear, no one even cares if you have nothing written for The Show. We just want you both there. Safe and sound.
And, on this Skirt issue, I have one question: Do Green Berets "go commando?"
This post has been removed by the author.
As a friend of mine says, Up With Da Chin! and good luck! Everything will work out. You'll both be fabulous.
Ditto to most of the above.
NOT is NOT an option on this mission.
Just a little longer, and you'll have Bob with you and remember - he can fix anything.
I'm sure he's got a backup plan for when stuff all goes south. His training will kick in - and remember he's been trained to never leave anyone (on his side) behind.
Seriously, just arrive safe and sound, and whatever you say and however you look will be more than good enough for us.
And, I'm sure you're not even close to SEVEN yet.
Shame on ALL of you! I didn't realize that so many people in the literary world were such hate-mongers. I'm just guessing, of course, what with him being the leader of the free world and a war going on and all, that there are places he needs to be and would rather be than throwing the first stinking pitch at a stupid baseball game so people can bash and make fun him, but it's necessary since the people expect it. Kind of like a book tour.
Ok, I will apologize, tried to remove the comment, trashbin gone.
MQ, CB ... no rednecks are not necessarily trash. Although trash can be rednecks ... then again trash can be white collar too. Rednecks - and I have some in my family tree - can be gainfully employed, literate, hardworking people. Its more about a slower pace and a different set of priorities. When I use the term I do so with bemused affection, not derision.
Anonymous - the nice thing about living in a free country is the freedom to criticize our elected leaders.
Dear Jenny, I, too, will be so happy to see you at RWA National in Atlanta that I will not care one whit what you look like. I'm jealous of everyone who gets to see you tonight.
I do hope everything else goes smoothly today, but maybe the flower truck could stall on the side of the road next to the plant evacuation? That sounds like something in one of your novels.
Ladies,ladies,
Dubya didn't mean to-probably
Rednecks are nice-usually
Spears isn't trash-always
and Bob doesn't....
to the throw like a girl part, not the commando part-maybe.
But what do I know.
I liked Dukes of Hazzard-back then.
lbooth
Do not, whatever you do, Do Not take this as an Omen of Things to Come.
You are merely getting the bad stuff over with early!
Nothing but Good Times Ahead!!
You deserve a small breakdown and major stress-out -- but I have the feeling you are going to do Cheerful On Wheels, instead. Sympathies on your rough start, but like Kaye said, it's gotta get better from here on out!
Would it help if I told you I have an ARC of your book, I'm loving it, and I feel the same way about Bush that you do?
Hi I live in a small town where we're all considered rednecks cause most people work on the water and have pickups. BUT we still love Jenny and still work hard. p.s. For the record I do not have big hair
The Bob and Jenny Show was great! I've lived on Long Island for quite some time and got lost twice while driving through the downpour to make it to the signing, but you guys made it worth it. Jenny, you looked fabulous. You were so charming no one would have guessed the obstacles you had to overcome to get to us tonight.
Post a Comment
<< Home