Warning: Some Violence and Much Strong Language.HE WROTE: Don’t Try This At Home Part Deux
Really. Don’t. We got into it this morning. Profanity. Every dirty thing from the past we could think of. Back and forth. More profanity on Jenny’s part. Of course we’re getting more mature and it was over faster. And all because I wanted Xavier to think about that alligator that Crockett and Tubbs used to have on their boat in Miami Vice and then have Hammond go over to Joey the Gent’s truck and check the hood to see if it was warm. You’d think it was no big deal. But it started the Great Agnes and the Hitman war. Oh yeah and I put back in Joey the Gent’s Italian flag license plate. And some other stuff. Minor stuff. Really.
We got into Four Acts versus the Five Part Narrative Structure debate. Whether Tyler should have been in DLD. Cats versus Dogs. What kind of dogs. What’s wrong with left-handed people. (I’m left-handed). The burning river in Ohio. Why I’m always right. The problem with small towns in Ohio. The problem with big town in New York. Lineages going back several generations. Yada, yada, yada. I solve it by saying, “Well, gotta go cause I have to check out of this motel (I’m on the road) and won’t be back on line until around 7 this evening. Yep, you’re right about everything.” I could just see the blood vessel in Jenny’s forehead pulsing as she pounded her keyboard.
I’m sitting in the parking lot of the Boulder, CO library writing this. Of course, this is the one day of the year I’m here, and it’s the one day of the year the library is having staff training until 2 PM. And it’s 1145. I have the world’s greatest timing. Really. Usually it opens at 10. It’s a really pretty library. It would look a LOT better from the inside since it’s like 95 degrees outside and the sun is really hot here at a mile high. But am I complaining? Nope. Because I am a peaceful soul, and there is a squirrel nearby I am communing with. We are at one.
A little later I need to go check out angles of fire for CHASING THE DEAD for sniper shots.
131 Comments:
Ah, the Bickersons are bickering, Bob's communing with squirrels and working on his aim (duck, Jenny!), and all is right with the world.
Or something like that.
And I get to comment first. :)
Your getting more mature and it was over faster? Umm, really, that fight, banter, or bicker, whatever you want to call it doesn't sound mature. It's typical, but not mature. Kind of like when my DH says he's getting more mature because he doesn't argue with me anymore, just sits and listens. He doesn't listen! He sits and ignores then still tries to tell me he's right. And the fact that it was over faster? Hmmm, do we really want to go there? Didn't think so.
I have to say, loved Miami Vice, but when my friend bought the DVD package of the first few seasons, well, it wasn't as good the first time around. But I remember having to stay home and watch Don Johnson. Although when the other dude tried to get a singing career going, ouch that was painful. Did you ever see that video? Bad, very bad, the 80's were!
Won't touch the left handed people thing because my son is a lefty and I think he's quiet adorable (yes said middle child). Although there is a shark movie on tonight he wants me to watch called, Spring Break, Summer of the Shark, or something. Which brings us back to jaws, and well, no. Last night I was forced to watch When a Stranger Calls, a remake of a movie that also scared me as a child. Well, no I won't leave my children home alone anymore.
Bob - enjoy the squirel. Interesting little creatures. They eat all my grapes at the lake last weekened. Actually, the came right up the table next to my lounge chair, with me in it, and stared at me while stealing my grapes.
I've rambled enough.
All the talented, intelligent, creative people in the world are left-handed. Jenny had a problem with that?
But Crocket and Tubbs? Bob. No. Crack the window a few inches, I think your tailpipe is clogged. Besides, we've talked about this. All those TV, movie, song title, brand name references in books are sooo Spring 2005. Move on.
About that minor stuff you put back in? Just a guess here. Was it Princess?
bw
Someone is sure to correct me, so I'll do it myself. Meant to say Spring 2006. Lingering effects of the time warp.
Bob, you aren't by any chance going to visit Camp Hale, are you?
bw
BCB - All the talented, creative people in the world are left handed.
Ummm, I'm not left handed!
I will say this, the two left handed people in my life, my brother and son, are very interesting people, to say the least.
You're late! Tsk, tsk. No excuses. It was 1800 hours PST. You missed the singing, Bobbie. We're not doing it again. Ever. You leave us hanging again and you are toast my friend ... egg or no egg ... in fact you might even be scrambled.
Boulder, cool. Still fighting huh? You two are like an old married couple. Yeah give whatshisname, Johnny, the Italian flag license plate, it's a nice touch. Sneak it back in when Jenny isn't looking. (Like you're gonna live to tell that tale, we'll hear the yells across the country.)
Okay, we've forgiven you now, it's good to hear your voice and get some male perspective and some sniping (not that kind, the gun kind) on the blog. Way too much singing, dieting, procrastinating while contemplating navels, what else, oh yeah, brownie making ... oh, in case you missed it, we did some time travel. You should have been there. I should have been there, I was left behind. Damn. Stuck on another page and thinking, "Oh my god I've broken the blog ... again."
rg
wurkw
work woman (I know, I know ...)
Let-handed people are the smartest, most talented people on the planet (I would know). Glad the fight's over...it sounds like you two fight kind of dirty.
Bob loitering in a deserted car park of a public library - poor baby. Hope no one calls the cops;-)
Bob is she calling your baby ugly -poor baby.
Just know this book is going to be fab...
Hey Robena just saw a pic of you on Lynne Marshalls website. Now I'll know what you look like when you come to the Gold Coast.
bzufz - a Bob huff
Now children, if you two don't learn to play nicely we're pulling this blog over to the side of the road. Don't make us do it!
Bob, good to hear from you. You know we worry if you don't call.
you.
Bob, go get something cold to drink until the library opens. Then when you are done with the library go check out your sniper angles. That will make you feel better. Maybe you can put the sniper character in Ohio. Actually you'd probably better get out of the parking lot. I can see some cop coming by and asking questions and you say "oh I'm just here to check out sniper angles." Which would mean Jenny would get to do what she wants with the book because they won't let you use your laptop in jail.
I won't comment on Xavier and the Miami Vice alligator because (a) I don't know how it fits into the story, whether it arcs a character or moves the plot, and (b) I never really got into that show. But I don't see how an Italian flag license plate could hurt.
Jen-t, just visted your webiste. Was wondering if the pic is of you and your hubby in that big ol vibrating bed :-)
kjrjo - kan jenny read jenny only?
downundergal - No pictures of vibrating bed allowed. Thanks for visiting the site. It still needs work, but it's a start.
Bob. you wrote. wow.
*a hush descends, and then "so how's your brother the squirrel?"*
never got into Miami Vice, but i understand the waiting in the car for a couple of hours till a library opens. well, i normally do something else (read or get food or something), and never in the heat, but i understand.
alaways nice when you write, Bob. lets us know Jenny hasn't killed you with a keyboard yet. or spiked beer. or...i should probably stop before i give her ideas.
red: gkuyyymm: umm, you guys? i think we need to have an intervention. blogger's on crack.
Bob .... welcome back...
Be kind to Jennie...
Speaking of fauna...a squirrel just ran across the lawn, followed by the resident roadrunner, followed by one of many rabbits, the roadrunner again and the squirrel.
Fauna is in full force here in Southern California.
I'm going to read this book with full appreciation of how it gets printed.
Keep on writing.
gymwwebq
blue
gym women want even better quotas
You may have your squirrel, Bob, but don't forget that Jenny has Tal the Mole:
jvmdkips -- Jenny very much desires killing impossible pseudonymous SFguy.
bpllxjw --Bob, please! Lisa Livia & Xavier R Jenny's wretches!
I don't know why the hyperlink came out a complete blank:
http://www.radio.cbc.ca/programs/asithappens/STEAM/2005/star_nosed_mole.jpg
zsafpyi -- A Moroccan dish featuring minced squirrel over rice
Bob so good to hear from you.
All the energy you and Jenny are putting into this. It's going to be a great book.
Why are you sitting outside the library? Does Boulder have no places with WIFI? I really hope the sniper angles you are checking are in Boulder not Ohio
Thanks for posting.
I don't know how many people would get the Miami Vice reference.
Nothing the matter with left-handed people. And no I'm not LH but am married to one.
I think the Italian flag liscense plate is an improvement on the confederate flag one seen so often in the South. (I'm a Southerner, I can say that)
JT sorry the squirrel ate your grapes. Amazing how pushy they can get. Maybe you need to set up a sniper rifle for the next time. Tell your kids it's wrong to show Mom scary movies before bedtime.
I'm with RSS on the sniper rifle for the squirrels. Seems like every time Bob communes with the squirrels, my local squirrels see fit to dig up my balcony container garden. Yup, we've been here before. Maybe we're still in that time warp. Only this sequel is called "Squirrel Day."
I'd like to commune with the squirrels. I'd like to commune with them with a blowtorch. Or BB gun. Or sniper rifle. I'd commune with them more gently if they stayed off my balcony. Grrrrrrr.
OMG there is so much here, where to start?
Miami Vice? Crockett and Tubbs and the alligator. Oh, my. I didn't watch the show but do remember the tunes (Phil Collins and Glen Frey), really frightening clothes and a lack of socks.
Left handed? My mom's left handed and always repeats the old adage that left-handed people are the only ones in their right minds.
Small Ohio towns? Easy there. If you aren't careful Jenny will find an Amish buggy to run you over. Then where will you be?
Sigh, the squirrels. There was a huge black one (size of a small bunny) in a tree outside my office window chattering furiously at a bird before lunch. You aren't telepathic, are ya?
Good thing you weren't bitter about that staff meeting. Word of advice, don't mess with those librarians. Trust me, they didn't want the staff meeting either.
A cub scout leader once told me in training that if you feed squirrels soda ie coke, pepsi, carbonated beverages their stomachs will explode because they can not burp. I did not pass this on to the boys in my dens. Actually I like squirrels. And now that I said that we'll get them in the attic and they will chew the wires or something.
If you have an ant problem, drop dried grits around the area. The ants will eat them, the grits will swell and the ants explode. I had such a fun time in Webelo leader training.
I just went back and read the time travel posts on June 17th. My 11DS came in to see why I was laughing hysterically. You'd think he'd be used to it by now. They I couldn't get back to this post. Really spooky.
jen-t: you changed your website splash page? I really liked the book. The couple is nice, but I thought the other one was really, really sharp. But I'm conservative so don't mind me. (grin)
and downundergal, my dear friend and critique partner is so in love with sticking photographs of people on her website. I hate it. I've told her about it numerous times but she doesn't care. Sigh. I'll have to beat her over the head with a wet noodle when I see her on Sunday.
Haven't seen any squirrels, but like Louis I see tons of bunnies and today, the most humongous road runner I've ever laid eyes on. He was one scary bird.
The ducks are all molting and look kind of scruffy, guess they don't care for the heat either. It's been over 110 here for who knows how long, if it dips to 98 for the evening walk we think we've died and gone to heaven.
rg
mklqart
make little quips and random teasers
The reason I changed the website was a friend pointed out that it the theme made her think I wrote historicals and thought I needed a more contemporary feel. So I went with it.
I hope Bob rolled down his windows, it's like twice as hot in a car. It poured in this part of the country. I didn't get to golf, and neither did DH. Hopefully the sun will come out tomorrow.
Bob, wish I had known you were going to be prowling stacks in Boulder. I was supposed to be playing with old things in Boulder (CU has an amazing archives) but plans changed. Had I known you were playing in that corner of the world I would have unchanged them and taken you to this lovely little joint with great salsa and the most woncerful frozen margaritas in Boulder. Unfortunately its one of those places the locals swear you to secrecy about and you can only take people there, not give them directions. But I guess since you're communing with squirrels you aren't drinking beer, margaritas, or any of that other stuff. Bet you went to the Boulder Dushanbe Teahouse. Did they have any of their workshops today? I hear the one on tea for body and spirit is pretty nice. Honestly, hope Colorado was productive for you. Don't mind the heat. It was real nice a few days ago, and according to the weather guy it is supposed to cool down again in mid September.
Boulder, huh? Corporate headquarters are in Boulder. Might explain a couple of e-mails I got today....
A smooth sea a skilled mariner does not make: the waves keep it interesting and keep you on your toes. The four acts five acts debate sounds intense, though, followed by too much sun. Hope it was followed by a cool night and a good beer.
JJ wrote: Hopefully the sun will come out tomorrow.
Annie? That is just too disgustingly chipper. BTW, I liked the first web page, too, but can see the point about finding a more contemporary feel if that's what you're writing.
I love squirrels. When I was younger, my BB gun was put to good use scaring away the blue jays that would pester the squirrels. Yeah, that's me, defender of vermin. Currently adopting eggs. [grin] Not much arc in my character. Sorry Jenny.
Bob, are you sure that was a squirrel? Do you know what a squirrel is supposed to look like? Because I've seen the squirrels in SC. They are scary. And they don't look like squirrels. I'd let the blue jays take them out.
RSS: Ants eat grits and explode? I knew there was a use for grits. Film at 11.
I just finished the new Jack Reacher. I was so disappointed. Well, it was Reacher, so that was good. Very good. But I saw it all coming. All the clues. I knew. There were no surprises. I hate that.
**Spoiler Alert, I guess**
And I just don't know what to think about the YEC (and the little bit of YEX). It was so out of character. I mean, here is a guy who thinks it's too much of a commitment to own more than one shirt and all of a sudden he's all snug and happy, spending quality time with a woman. And then, poof, he's gone. It didn't work for me. But Reacher is Reacher and the parts where he acted true to character were terrific.
Which reminds me: Jenny, please don't take out all the dark parts in Agnes. If Shane is going to be believeable as a hit man, there have to be some dark parts. And Bob, you've got a lot of work to do arcing that one. Heavy lifting.
Are you sure we have to wait to read it? You could post a few chapters here, we won't tell. Act One is done, right? Right? Did I just hear a growl?
bw
Gotta agree with BCB. I expected more of Bob's darkness in DLD and was a bit let down that it wasn't there. I know it isn't what Jenny's readership expects, but it felt a lot more Crusie than Mayer to me.
Incidentally, I loaned DLD to a neighbor and she said she could easily tell where there was a change of writer. This is someone who doesn't read either Bob or Jenny usually and who is not associated with the blog, so it's an unbiased opinion. Just thought that was interesting, FWIW.
I would love to be a fly on the wall when those Boulder librarians find out that Bob Mayer was out in the parking lot, waiting for them to finish their training and open the doors, and they could have invited him inside and had enhanced SF/best-selling author training instead. Can we send them an email?
bw
BCB: the new Reacher wasn't that great? oh, boy, that makes me sad. still going to read it, duh, but awww, that ain't fair.
yeah, yeah, life isn't fair. you be quiet you.
Bob, had I known you were coming, I would have stopped by with hot chocolate to bask in mutual left-handedness.
Whatever happened to the skirt picture?
The skirt picture was posted, but of course I am having brain fade and can't remember where--possibly on his web page? CB's? Help me out here. Proud to be a fellow leftie, Bob. I can't imagine writing a book with someone else. We all love the give and take and witty dialogue here, but as a writer I would find it very difficult to allow someone else to play in my basement! And since Jenny is in the basement and you are in the attic, the view is quite different... So what looks good to one of you can be a real mess for the other. I understand the getting your teeth in it and running with the story, it is hard to let it go when you are in the zone. Poor Jenny! Must be like trying to pry a tasty morsel away from Moot--I don't envy her!! And don't worry. A good relationship isn't all posies and sunshine--sometimes it is thorns and and a rip-roaring nor'easter! This too will pass...
cobxx--Carry on, Bob. Xavier xcites!
Concerning Italian license plates: you should come over here and see what it's like after Italy won the soccer World Cup. So many Italian flags, you never want to eat pizza again.
And I must say, I cannot shake off the feeling that most of the Cherry Bombs are a little (or a lot) biassed (my goodness, does it really spell that way - bi-assed? Reminds me of something else...) on behalf of Bob and Jenny, either openly taking Jenny's side or sounding a little (or a lot) condescending like, poor Bob, can't find anybody to play with...
So just to make a difference, I'm often with you, Bob. Be grateful you never met me because then you might not appreciate that so much.
sheri said "since Jenny is in the basement and you are in the attic, the view is quite different"
i really liked that line.
colognegrrl: well, most- if not all- of us started out as Jenny fans. besides, Bob has a pinky.
"and he's such a cute little egg" OH says in her most condescending voice, thereby freeing BCB from the worry of Bob as he will now be after OH. (anything for a fellow CB, BCB, and plus, by the time i get to meet him he'll hopefully forget)
but cg, take care of him. (yeah, we do sound condescending a lot, don't we?)
uh, Bob, i was really tired when i wrote that. you can ignore it. going to bed before he really wants to use his pinky...night all
p.s. ignore the time lapse. i was reading other posts. :)
Um, what's wrong with an Italian flag license plate? ::curious::
Squirrel's are okay. They don't bother me, just eat my grapes. Chipmonks on the other hand are nasty creatures and let me tell you why.
When I was about five - my dear brother left the cabin door open when he left to go fishing. My older sister and I woke to find a chipmonk in the cabin. We chased it around some how I ended up in it's path in front of the door. Darn thing climbed under my nighty. I froze, paralized with fear (I was only five). Then the darned thing propped itself on my shoulder, stuck it's head out from under my nightgown and nibbled on my ear. I screamed and then the stupid thing scurried down my back side, under my nighty, and scratched my butt and then ran out the door. I haven't been the same since.
Leave the squirrel alone, but you can take care of all the chipmonks of the world. Nasty critters I tell you!
Bob - did you make into the library? Was it air conditioned?
Well Bob usually writes thrillers which DLD wasn't so in that sense it felt more Crusie. But at the same time DLD had more action and less YEC than Jenny's usually do, so I felt they were both well represented. And I think it would be very hard to meld romantic comedy with action thriller; one or the other would have to dominate if only slightly.
But I'm really looking forward to AATHM. DLD was a first work in many ways. Most authors, as good as they are initially, get better as they develop what Jenny calls their writing chops. So with AATHM Bob and Jenny will have developed their collaborative chops more fully which promises an even better read.
cologne grrl, hi,
I was actually a Bob fan first, believe it or not (being a romance writer) and had only read two of Jenny's books until mid last year. I really didn't get her humor at first (that's a long story) and with all of the characters she puts in the stories I couldn't keep them straight in my head.
Then when the collaboration came along, I read another Crusie, got totally sucked in and scurried to find back list. (grin)
I only have two to go and then I've read them all and now I'm converting friends who are all loving them. Go figure.
I do however, like teasing Bob because, well he's a sitting duck ... or a squirrel... one guy amongst so many women. It's just too hard to resist but, he knows we're just girls having fun.
rg
tnkgikh
thank naughty kinky girls in killer highheels
Good morning, all. Bob loved Miami Vice but I don't remember the alligator on the boat so maybe that isn't such a hot reference.
Speaking of hot, what are you doing out in the heat when you could be sitting in a cool bar or hotel or motel etc.etc. Are you wearing a hat...I didn't think so. Didn't your mother tell you anything about how to dress and what to do on a hot day. My goodness! I will have to take you in hand or you are going to be one fried egg.
glamour geek didn't we give you a list of squirrel repellents many posts ago? It seems to me we have had this conversation before. Hide the guns and for God's sake don't use the coke idea. Exploding squirrels. Ugh! Bob will be out to get you. He is one with the squirrels.
rg you and Louis both mentioned road runners. I have never seen one except in Wily Coyote's cartoons. Do they really go "Beep Beep"! I didn't think so. DH says "no, they go Beep Beep Zoom." He's reading over my shoulder again.
jen-t you know I love you but you can't be putting a contract out on the chipmunks. I love the chipmunks. They are so cute. That little chipmunk just wanted to let you know it loved you.
Sorry I am so late with my comments. I fell asleep reading Bob's post last night so I told DH I was going to bed. He knew how tired I was so he checked. Yup, I had left the internet on. Thank heavens he checked.
Having troublre seeing this as I have my as yet, undecorated, eyepatch on. I think I will put the cherries on tonight.
blue txhed
Trouble, Xavier helped edit Doherty.
bluer ccdkru
Crusie criticized. Doherty killed rewrite utterly.
Yes, we've been through the squirrel thing before. The antidotes don't work that well. Persistent little buggers, those squirrels.
Bob... I think the alligator idea is great. I remember the alligator from Miami Vice. I think it could be a distant relative of Moot as well!
As for squirrels, there is nothing more heart-warming than watching your 73 year old mother in her housecoat on the back patio... coffee mug in one hand and a BB rifle in the other as she shoots squirrels out of the tree. She's an Annie Oakley too. Rarely misses them. She'd fire an honest-to-God rifle if she didn't worry about being arrested. Ahh... you can take the mountain girl away from the mountains, but...
You get the picture.
bcb - I've been explaining that to myself as part of Reacher's arc. Or at least, an attempt at an arc. But in the first book he was so much warmer and present, it seems kinda wacky. Huh. What you said about when he's being Reacher, he's fun.
inkgrrl: I'm probably way too cynical for my own good (ya think?) but I kept wondering whether Child's editor was pestering him: "Hey look, even Bob Mayer is doing YEC now, you need to add some YEC to these Reacher books." [note to editor: if it ain't broke, dear...]
It felt a bit forced and I was relieved when the man reverted to type at the end. I love Reacher.
bw
I was a Miami Vice fan, too, and think there should have been more of the alligator.
Alligator's name was Elvis, by the way.
Of course, it was improbable that an alligator spent so much time on a sail boat when it could have been swimming around in Biscayne Bay.
I also wonder how Crockett brought back big hunks of raw food for Elvis without getting blood splatter on his pastel T-shirts. Blood splatter. Hmm. Maybe that's why he never wore socks.
(By the way, I finally posted my brownie recipe in the earlier post's comments.)
ijbkw: It's just Bob killing War Lords.
I think sometimes knockdown, drag-out fights are good for a relationship, especially the kind of relationship Bob and Jenny, he and she, have. As long as the air gets cleared and as long as you can come back to the table with no torn arteries or cracked skulls everything else will heal.
(gross generalizations ahead)The yelling and swearing sounds a lot like how men fight. I used to work in a library staffed by women - those were some dirty fights, lots of silent treatments and behind the back talking and resentment that lingered for months. Now I work with 30 men and they yell and holler and swear and it's over with. My DH and his best friend used to work and live in camp together. By the end of their shift they weren't speaking, by Saturday they were ogling power tools or watching fishing porn on tv. Fishing porn is any fishing show where they catch really big fish or they have a really cool boat with lots of useless gadgets.
Have fun checking out the sniper shot angles. I love that kind of accuracy. Makes me tingly.
pjzsq - the blogger gods hate me. Pink jets zoom squirrels quickly.
Anon, you hit on the one thing (just one, mind you) that men do better than women. Fight amongst themselves. A woman with a grudge can be vicious little b***h and more inclined to attack when your back is turned. Whereas men clash head on and get it out of their system. When men and women fight, the man actually thinks the fight is over when its over. So he doesn't get it when the woman is still ticked off hours or days later.
jwhhfhmg: jealous whales have hefty fights, harbor many grudges.
Yeah, ever watch a couple of stags or a couple of male kangaroos go at it? Cool.
I recently saw two drakes attack each other (over a gal) never knew ducks fought. Heck they picked the feathers out of each others chests. It was kind of funny to see the two of them days later swaggering around the lake with tufts of feathers missing, but they were back to being buddies.
Guess we need to take lessons from the guys, huh? Okay, get your dukes up, whose first?
Truly, I'm going to work now, have procrastinated all morning. I've hit a spot in my story that requires a valiant effort and I've found every way to resist for two days now. I know if I'm resisiting writing it, it is indeed the scene I need to write, but it's going to be painful ... do I have to go to the dark side?
rg
Mary Stella said: "I also wonder how Crockett brought back big hunks of raw food for Elvis without getting blood splatter on his pastel T-shirts. Blood splatter. Hmm. Maybe that's why he never wore socks."
LOL! Guess that's as good a reason as any!
rg - it is cliche - but for a reason - you need the dark to really, truly appreciate the light. (And just a guess, but I bet you'll have some character arc by the time you finish the passage!)
Write it out, and you'll feel better. All that avoiding takes WAY too much energy.
jkabxfb - seriously now, what is up with blogger?
This will surprise nobody, but Bob, you crack me up.
fqrsoxah - finest quality rayon socks, aaaahhh!
BCB said "I love Reacher."
Amen, sister. plus, i learn a lot of interesting things from his books- he does infodump (oh, we're calling that information now, weren't we?) really well.
rg said "Guess we need to take lessons from the guys, huh? Okay, get your dukes up, whose first?"
already there. tried that silent fighting behind the back crap and lost my bf of the time, so no longer do it. not worth it. besides, if they pissed me off, i'm gonna tell them so they can get annoyed too. besides much healthier. like a CB said, clears the air. and as long as you take potshots that aren't too bad, you can come away as friends a lot more times than if you talk behind the back.
on a completely other subject (well, not really, there's a connection, just got to look for it) a cat left half a dead mouse's body on the bathroom floor. question of the day: where's the other half?
(kill all the rats and non-pet mice. i'm fine with squirrels and chipmunks and other creatures of disney movies, but kill the rats/mice. they are so damn gross and this way i wont have to deal with their dead carcasses my younger cat- or my dog- brings in.)
oh, and does anybody know how to make lizards stay away? because my dog keeps catching them and bringing them in, and i really hate having to pick them up and bring them back into the wild, minus their tail. (i do it, but gross).
electric landlady are you from Toronto? If so we are nearly neighbours. I am in the Niagara Region. Too bad you weren't on here when we got together in Toronto with glamour geek last month. Keep in touch.
blue esztqvrf
Every single Zaza takes quoissants very regularly, Freddie. (okay, okay I know it isn't spelled like that. Lighten up okay, you over there.)
Besides, as folk out west always say, it's a dry heat. It's amazing how hot it can be at a mile high - it doesn't seem to cool off in the western mountains 'til more like 8 or 9 thousand feet.
I have one of those black squirrels in my neighborhood. While gray ones may be a nuisance, they're cute, and commun-able. The black ones sorta look sinister to me.
I think chipmunks are cuter than squirrels - also, less likely to be a garden pest, I think.
But then, I liked the groundhog (woodchuck?) that lived under my porch in Ohio (I never noticed it bothering the plantings, though I know they can). So, clearly, I have some tolerance for fuzzy animals. So long as they're not actually in the house. There was a squirrel once that used to come in under the kitchen sink (not in Ohio), 'til I figured out how to block it properly, and the bats (I've had two) just freak me out.
No communing with bats in the house - just lying in wait to usher them out with a broom.
xcgraii: Xenia's counterfeit Gucci restored Annabeth's idiomorphic illusions
You know, I’m thinking maybe colognegrrl has a point, maybe we’re too hard on Bob sometimes. If his website is any indication, he’s not used to interacting with “fans.” And if we are to believe him, he sells a lot of books to guys on military bases who I’m pretty sure don’t TALK about it afterward, let alone expect Bob to say anything. They bought the book, what needs to be said? Actions speak for themselves.
Did you all notice that on Bob’s website he says he has activated the comment feature on his Updates page? And yet he doesn’t seem surprised that there are no comments. He doesn’t realize there is no comment feature, because he isn’t expecting any comments. (inkgrrl has a wicked sense of humour.) And his fans over there are happy with four succinct posts a year:
I’m not dead.
I’m writing another book.
More later.
I can see how this blog and the CB’s might be a little overwhelming for the man. Maybe even traumatic. So maybe we should be nicer, more respectful and considerate, less demanding. Maybe tease him a little less or be more gentle, more appreciative of his time and talents. Maybe even Say Nice Things.
.
.
.
Nah. What fun would that be? And most likely Jenny would never forgive us.
If we didn’t like him, we’d just ignore him. Sorry colognegrrl, if we couldn’t tease Bob we’d probably turn on each other and things would get ugly real fast. See, he’s providing a community service by letting himself be a target. He’s so noble. But don’t tell him I said that.
bw
sfrlrmqw: SF aRe lovely real men, quite witty (too)
OH sez: a cat left half a dead mouse's body on the bathroom floor. question of the day: where's the other half?
Um. Inside the cat? At least temporarily? :)
Oh, please. Bob needs sympathy the way I need an additional hole in my head. He CHOSE Jenny as a writing partner, he should expect a suitable amount of grief from that and us. It builds character. And if you have to get grief from someone, wouldn't you want it to be the divine Jenny?
He's just a glutton for punishment. Hence becoming a Green Beret. That stuff is not for sissies.
And I'm sure he's not worrying too much about all these women who really, really want him to write more so they can buy his books and tell him he's fabulous and put more money in his pocket so he can buy ammo to take pot shots at parasailers.
BCB: As unbelievable as it may seem, seeing as how he posted so rarely on his own site and wouldn't allow comments, I think this blog was Bob's idea. Thought I remembered reading that somewhere. And also, Jenny said once that Bob's reason for the partnership was learning to write for women (which is an odd comment because women will read anything, its men who are picky - so maybe I have that wrong). Anyway, we learn something about writing and Bob learns more than he ever wanted to about the way women think.
Anonymous: You've been asking about the skirt picture. Someone posted a link in the comments back around end of April or early May, I believe. The GAM's got gams. *wiggles eyebrows*
G-G and MCB: Um. You guys know I was being sarcastic, right? Those were not serious suggestions.
But I wonder, do you think Bob was sitting there, nodding approvingly as he read that? LOL!
Oh, never mind, he doesn't read the comments.
And really, if this was all his idea then we probably haven't been giving him enough grief for his lack of participation.
bw
OH - at least it's your dog taking the tail off the lizard, and not your kids. In florida, those little things, what are they camillians? You remember the story, the one where my older kids told the little guy to kiss it, and the lizard thing bit his lip and he ran through the house with the lizard hanging of his lower lip and me (mom) laughed her butt off. Okay, now that we have that straight. Now the kids catch the poor criters and in the process half of them lose their tails. How sad is that.
Half of a mouse? Yuck. We have little moles in the yard and we've been trying to get rid of them. Well this past winter a couple of them made their way into the basement (husband's office), anyway he caught one of them in a trap and then stuffed it in a ziplock bag and put it on top of the garbage can in the garage thinking the kids would like to see it before going off to school. Well, I went to toss something out there, and grabbed the baggie in the dark, when I turned on the light and saw what was in my hand, well, lets just say I not only woke up my entire house, but the neighbors too. That was gross.
Of course middle child wanted to take into school. Figured it would make a good "science" project.
One of our two cats regularly brings us "presents" that he leaves on the front porch. Luckily he doesn't eat any part of his gift, and I only have to call my son to remove the offering. The other day the cat decided to bring his present into the house. Probably because it was still alive and so much fun to play with. The small rat ran right into our son's room. Worst place it could've gone. Or best if you are the rat. We ended up locking the cat in the room for the night. Can you believe the boy actually went ahead and slept in the same room? In the morning, the present was right in front of his door proudly displayed. Yuck.
JT- Too funny. I'm sure the nieghbors understood though. I know I would have.
OH- My kids catch lizards all the time. We've got so many tail-less or half-tailed lizards running around here! And be thankful you only get mice. My dog brings me rabbits. Well, halves of rabbits anyhow. Yuck. Just Y U C K!!
rss- you can leave a comment on my blog with your e-mail addy, or you can e-mail me (clancys@hotmail.com). If you e-mail me, I'll send you my cell phone number so we can talk about the house. Just drop me a line and let me know what you're looking for, ok?
Totally loved all the food/brownie ideas on the last blog. Now I know what I'm gonna have my oldest do next week.
Question... Are any of you afraid of airplanes? How do you deal with that? Shane is going to Tampa next week and wants to take Gret, but she's terrified of planes. She doesn't want to miss the trip, but has no desire to get into a plane. She wasn't always like this, but was really traumatized by 9/11. One of her best friends lost a cousin to the Pentagon plane, and then that's all that was on tv for days, and she's just been terrified since then. Suggestions?
BCB said: "Oh, never mind, he doesn't read the comments."
Don't forget, he can see the comments until they reach 100, then they "go away." Though I admit to being fuzzy about if he reads them or just sees that they are here. You know, like hearing what someone says verses actually listening to them.
Dee: Can't say that I'm actually afraid of airplanes but I really don't like them. I tolerate them because they get me where I'm going and usually if I've made the reservation I really want to go. Once we are airborn I'm fine, but I don't like take-off or landing. Makes my dad nuts, he says those are the best parts (hah). To cope, I bring along my mp3 player with favorite tunes, sit by the window, eat salty pretzels and diet pepsi to calm the nerves. Sorry, that's not much help.
ps. I just read a review for a children's book called Pirate Bob. Just had to laugh.
BCB - yes we know you were kidding. Nobody is taking seriously the notion that we should give up picking on Bob. He's our collective older/younger brother. He'll just have to deal.
The worst part with cats is that they're so darned proud of their "presents" so you have to pet them and tell them how brave they are ... and go find a guy to get rid of it for you.
Dee: What about an audio book? She can close her eyes and just listen to the story. A friend of mine drinks heavily before boarding but Gret's kinda young for that particular therapy. But if she could get lost in the story before take off it might help.
Dee: No, sorry, no tested suggestions re: aerophobia. I'm not sure if my lack of fear results from lack of imagination or the remnants of adolescent invulnerability or an understanding of the statistics of air travel fatalities vs. fatalities on the road.
The only thoughts I have on the subject (and this is definitely a "do as I say, not as I do" thing), is to have a discussion about fear and opportunity. We are, most of us, afraid of many things, and some of them are valid and some are not (and some of us are NOT afraid of some things we should definitely be worried about, e.g. our health/ eating habits/lack of physical activity, the state of the environment, the scary way teenagers dress). What are we missing when we allow ourselves to skip opportunities because we are afraid? This is different from taking reasonable precautions (including not getting into cars with boys who have been drinking), and can mean anything from missing a trip to not trying a new sport/dance for fear of looking foolish to having an unsatisfying career because it's dependable.
And, depending on the psychology of the individual involved, there's always the argument that, if one lets them frighten us out of doing things we would enjoy, the terrorists win.
I like to fly (except for the discomfort of sitting for long periods of time, and the inconvenience of waiting for things) - I love looking out the window and trying to figure out what's out there. And it's a LOT faster than driving, for long distances. But there's no denying that it uses a lot of fossil fuels. I try to offset the CO2 produced - now made easier by terrapass.
Best of luck!
osogyc: ocelots spend October gilding young cashews
Lynn said...
BCB said: "Oh, never mind, he doesn't read the comments."
Don't forget, he can see the comments until they reach 100, then they "go away."
Let's not get too cocky on the whole "Bob can't see us if its over 100 comments" thing. Remember LaFavre's story? Mom and Dad see all and know all. Sometimes they just let us get away with it.
You guys are so funny. Of course Bob reads the comments. Some of them anyway. I just can't resist the chance to get a little dig in. What do they say about payback?
Dee: Can't remember how old Gret is. I'd say, in general, it's probably not a good idea to force someone to do something if they are genuinely terrified -- you're the best judge of that. Talk to her, listen to what she says. I think it's common for kids to have a fear of death/dying and it might be more that than flying, esp almost five years later. Ask her.
Last week a friend had to fly for business and it was a little stormy that day so I told him I hoped the flight didn't have any turbulence. He said: If there isn't any turbulence, I don't feel like I've gotten my money's worth.
Sometimes it's all about attitude. Kids will adopt a lot of their attitude from their parents.
bw
g-g said "OH sez: a cat left half a dead mouse's body on the bathroom floor. question of the day: where's the other half?
Um. Inside the cat? At least temporarily? :)"
oh, i wish. nope, neither my dog nor younger cat eat them. they play with them, butcher them, but don't eat them. thank god for my older cat. she doesn't move. though she does throw up so not sure about the trade-off.
KI: your boy is either really stupid or really brave. oh, that is so sick. i'm getting grossed out. how could he sleep when that thing could attack at any time? oh, gross, gross, gross.
JJ: that's so gross. i can handle open-heart surgery (it's really cool to watch) but a dead mouse and i shudder.
MCB said "and go find a guy to get rid of it for you."
plu-eze. my dad screams and my brother ignores it until someone else cleans it up. my mom is the one who normally takes care of it, and if she's not there i'm next in line.
dee: love flying so not sure how helpful i'll be, but the drinking and the getting lost in a book are good ideas. depending on her personality, maybe:
- if she doesn't mind heights hook her with the view
- drug her and blindfold her
- promise something really cool at the end (aka bribe her)
- give her the fatality rates of an airplane (not sure if they're scary or calming, don't know what they are)
- tell her to focus on music
- get her pissed off so she doesn't notice what she is doing
- dare her into it
- make one of her siblings go with her and then you have sibling rival syndrome to keep her onboard
- sit down and have a long discussion about how she feels and how she can help herself when she's on the plane
- breathing exercises
- use homeopathy sprays that calm a person down (when i get anxiety attacks i take a sniff of this stuff and it calms me down. the thing is called "Flower Essence Dosage Bottle" and it is made with water, glycerim as preservative, and the infusion of the following flower essences: lavender, cherry plum, piak narrow, and yarrow)
hope one of these helps...
oh, saw BCB posted. she said "Kids will adopt a lot of their attitude from their parents."
scariest idea around. :)
but it could work. if she sees both her mom and dad see flying as no big deal, she may pick up on that. maybe DH can take a couple of extra days and just drive down there with her? don't remember where you live (too many Cbs and not enough memory storage) so not sure how far Tampa is from you.
oh, she's 14, right dee? maybe if you make it seem like an adventure and flying is just step one and then after that part is over the rest is a blast. not sure what age that stops working at.
Bob - The burning river in Ohio?
That was the only part of your post that didn't make sense. I might have to go check that out.
Terri in Ohio
Thanks for the suggestions, guys. Yep, she's 14. She hasn't been on a plane in years. Me, I fly every chance I get. I LOVE it! DH is the same. She says she just sees that plane crashing into the Pentagon every time she thinks about flying.
She DID say that she'd deal with her fear if there was something really cool at the end of the flight. Of course, she also mentioned something about Johnny Depp and a red carpet at Disney World, so not sure that a quiet, sibling-free hotel in Tampa will do the trick.
And I made enough pocket change to get her the iPod for her birthday, but when I sent Shane to buy it, he came back with a Creative Zen. It has 8gb of space, does pics, AND can play/record FM radio. So maybe the mp3 player and a good book will work, but she's not getting anything to drink. That's all we need, to have the 14yo liquored up on the plane while traveling alone with her Dad. I can see those headlines now! "Father gets 14yo daughter drunk and flies to Florida...film at 11". YIKES!
ok, someone, and i believe it's lori, i'm almost 98.57% sure, but maybe another CB, gave me an author to try out. put a book of her's on hold and then mom accidently deleted it. it was Mary Janice, and i think the last name was Robinson, but not sure. and as i have about 20 books still on hold, don't remember the title. anyways, so lori, or whoever, please tell me again.
(i guess i could go looking if no one answers, but ugh, work. plus, i'd get caught up in the comments again and it'll be days later before i appear.)
Mary Janice Davidson
Titles: Undead and _____ (several choices)
Goofy, funny, irreverent vampire books. Although she is from Minnesota (lives there anyway), so maybe that's why I think so.
bw
Dee said ... That's all we need, to have the 14yo liquored up on the plane while traveling alone with her Dad. I can see those headlines now! "Father gets 14yo daughter drunk and flies to Florida...film at 11". YIKES!
Okay, be fair. I did say she was a little young for that. But, when is this again? Just so we can keep an eye open for headlines. (g)
Glamour-Geek: Infallible squirrel remedy:
http://blog.dbthoughts.com/C1404482591/E670175878/Media/bewarethesniperkitten.jpg
It's currently 111 here (114 predicted) with a dew point of 59. That is NOT a dry heat!
I have a copy of the pic of Bob in a skirt in my files, but the Properties doesn't show the original URL, and I can't upload files here.
Anyone who really wants a copy can go to my blog:
http://fluffycatbabylon.blogspot.com/
and leave their e-mail address on the comments page, and I'll send you a copy by e-mail. (And I'll delete the address after using it, so it won't be too public.)
Jen-T writes: We have little moles in the yard and we've been trying to get rid of them.
Thanks a lot, chum. Those are my kids, you know.
Cuyahoga River Fire: On June 22, 1969, the Cuyahoga River caught fire in Cleveland, Ohio. The blaze lasted just thirty minutes, but it did approximately fifty thousand dollars in damage-principally to some railroad bridges spanning the river. It is unclear what caused the fire, but most people believe sparks from a passing train ignited an oil slick in the Cuyahoga River. This was not the first time that the river had caught on fire. Fires occurred on the Cuyahoga River in 1868, 1883, 1887, 1912, 1922, 1936, 1941, 1948, and in 1952. The 1952 fire caused over 1.5 million dollars in damage.
More here: http://www.ohiohistorycentral.org/entry.php?rec=1642
Dee--There are "fear of flying" desensitizing therapy sessions available.
ldqmc -- Let Doherty quickly meet Cherries.
OH writes: KL your boy is either really stupid or really brave. oh, that is so sick. i'm getting grossed out. how could he sleep when that thing could attack at any time? oh, gross, gross, gross.
He is 15 years old. That should explain that.
About the MaryJanice Davidson books. Yes they are great. Start at the beginning though. It is a series and I started in the middle and had to reread the book I started with because I missed so much since it was out of context. She also has some short stories that sort of fill in between the stand alone books and a werewolf series that sort of parallels it. The short stories weave them together.
Dee - I'm terrified of flying, but of course we all know I'm afaird of a lot of things.
Because I don't want my kids to have the same fear (although mine is reasonable since I was aboard a plane that had to perform an emergancy landing when I was 16), I try not to show it, although once you get sick once on a plane, the whole world will never let you down. Anyway, my kids were a little leery of flying after 9/11. The only thing I can tell you is to talk her through it. It's okay to be afraid, but you can't let it control your life. I might be afraid of flying, but I fly at least twice a year. Most people sense my nerves and either stay away, or end up talking with me, especially when I'm flying alone and don't have my kids to distract me. Last year on my way to Reno, I met a nice striper guy. Man, he was hot! Talk about a distraction. I barely noticed the take off.
Anyway, being afraid is normal. Letting it run your life is not. Not an easy lesson to learn as a teenager. Bring things for her to focus on. A book, music, cards. She'll get through it. Also, since I get a little airsick, you might want to bring some dramamine with you, better than getting her drunk. It works, at least it does for me.
Good luck and have a great time!
Okay, here I sit at the cottage on my little finger lake in central NY. The squirrel brought a friend and they are eyeing my strawberries (on grapes this evening). I might share, but they are the least of my conerns. A group of teenaged boys have taken over the neighbors cottage for the next week. It seems the renters have four boys, ranging from 16-10 and the 16 and 14 year old have noticed my 15 year old daughter. Hmmm, got any sniper tips, Bob. We pulled in about an hour ago and the boys came over to introduce themselves to my 12 year old son, then out popped daughter in ther 2-piece to use the jet-ski and boys then starting tripping over their tongues as they raced home to ask their parents if they could take out their jet-ski. Now I've got one teenaged daugher on a jet-ski being followed by two teenage boys. I need sniper help, and fast. Why do kids have to grow up?
Judging by the behaviour of our two fearless leaders, I'm not sure all kids feel they have to grow up ;)
It's just as well this blog wasn't labeled "Well Behaved at All Times"
(Though if J and B were chasing each other on jetskis, I'd bet that frying pans and keyboards would be involved somehow.)
rwbrpe
Robert wrote boldly, really peeving (his) equals
For those of you who like bananas - Emeril's doing something with chocolate, caramel and bananas on Food network!
Talpianna: many thanks for the sniper kitten. Know where I can get one?
Usually when I water the plants the squirrels lay off for a bit. Nope. Watered yesterday, more destruction today. I think they're amused.
Actually, I think it's one particularly malevolent squirrel. You know the one. The one who looks at me like, "So lady, whatcha gonna do about it?" The one I threw a third of a cup of warm tea at once (the only thing that came to hand at the time). Kept him away for about 2 weeks, though.
I am too tired to deal with the destruction today, though. It will have to wait til tomorrow.
TALPIANNA: STOP! You are killing me! God that picture was so funny I almost fell out of my chair laughing. It needs a caption: Bob Mayer, The Early Years. Fluffy takes on a whole new meaning. *SNORT* I'd been picturing the ruff on a dog when he has his back up, or those evil fluffy Gremlin things from the movie. No more.
KL: He is 15 years old. That should explain that.
Yeah, my son at that age would have had a flashlight and a video camera. Heck he's almost 21 now, he'd still have the flashlight so he wouldn't miss anything.
Mary: Maybe we should suggest a name change: "He Wrote, She Wrote, They Wrote"
Geez, Tal. Bob The Sniper Kitten. I'm still laughing.
bw
Oh my goodness - jet-skis are back but I think daughter is a tad bit smitten with the older boy (16). I have to say he's kind of cute, I mean if I were 16, I'd probably find him just adorable. They are going for a dusk swim together. What was I to say, no? So here I sit, watching them in the water. The boy's parents are going to join in a moment.
Middle child is now changing into his bathing suit, grab his snorkle and pretend he's a shark. I can't believe I encouraged him, but oh do I remember doing stuff like this to my older sister. My brother always came up with great ideas, he just always had idiot me to do his dirty work. My child does his own dirty work, although i have to admit I gave him the idea when I told them to beware of the shark.
No, I'm not going in. Still have a hard time even dangling my feet in the water.
I'll keep you informed. But get the snipper out just incase the boy gets a little frisky. Hands to yourself buster.
Dee: Don't know if you are old enough to remember the DC10 (or was it DC9)crashes. My sisters and I and a couple of friends were going to Hawaii. We drove up to Dulles to catch the plane. My youngest sister (about 17 at the time) said she was fine with flying as long as it wouldn't be on that type of plane. I of course assured her it wouldn't and of course when we got to Dulles guess what our flight was on. She started freaking and said she wasn't going. I said fine, handed her the car keys and said "Oh, by the way you know you will die in a car crash on the way home." She came to Hawaii and had no problems with the flight. To this day she says she can't believe I said that but that I was so matter-of-fact that she thought I might be right. We had a great trip. Of course, I was young too(early twenties)and I don't know that I could say something like that to one of my kids. But, it did work.
We have several cats as well as the dogs and have for many years. We've found many halves of mice, dead and not so dead voles and moles. The halves of mice don't bother me quite as much as the whole carcasses that are skinned. I am the only female in a house of males and guess who the main carcass remover is. If the cats catch a mouse and it isn't dead, my DH will catch it in a bag, trash can, anything where he doesn't have to get close and then he takes the mouse for a ride and lets it loose in the woods. He's been known to do this at 3am. Me, I let the cats take care of them and then I dispose of any remains in the am. 16DS will wake me up in the night if the cats leave him a present and he won't even sleep in a room if he thinks there's a mouse much less a rat. The other two are more likely to try to catch them and set up a habitat. DS11 still is upset that when we found a bunch of naked pink baby mice I flushed them.
Funny chipmunk story. My sister (yep the Hawaii one) had a cat that once caught a chipmunk and walked up with the bottom half of it squirming in her mouth. Dear Sis picked up the cat and shook it screaming "Drop it. Drop it right now." until the cat did. Said chipmunk ran off seemingly non the worse.
RS - Never much for cats, prefer dogs, but haven't had them in years. Travel hockey put a damper on animals in our house.
Years ago, when my brother lived in Virgina, stationed in Norfolk, he had a German Shepard and a Huskey and decided he need to add a bird. he got a kockatoo (sp). Anyway, the GS and the bird didn't really like each other. They had to be seperated. Well one day while DB was at the base, the GS somehow got into the porch where the bird was and well when DB got home all that was left where a few bloody feathers.
Two years later my brother moved to jacksonville. They lived on a lake that had lots of alligators. One night same GS started barking up a storm. Brother went out to find the dog halfway in the water, but the dog wouldn't come in. The next night the same thing happened, but just as my brother was heading out to get the dog, a big yelp came. he looked out the window and there was some thrashing going on in the water and well, the dog disappeared.
Yes, I know it's sad. Dog eats bird, alligator eats dog. Circle of life.
drdosn - darn rat dishelved over snipper nets
JT I believe I would have had to shoot an alligator. And yes, I know that's illegal.
Traveling does make it hard to have animals. Our menagerie has just grown over the years. Mostly rescued animals. Our usual home has an invisible paw print that attracts stray critters.
I'm enjoying your lake stories and I love your son pretending to be a shark to scare his sister and her smitten following. Sounds like something my guys would do.
Hope you won't need the sniper rifle. You could go with a chainsaw a la Uncle Buck. My DH always said that's what he'd do if we had girls.
OH meant to say You Go Girl not being to squeamish to take care of the carcasses.
And people what is this about women should fight more like men? Yes, women can be nasty and hold grudges but we rarely start wars that kill hundreds of thousands.
Maybe something between the two styles.
Jen: geez with so many critter stories its not wonder you've got a problem with jaws. Although, its a lake, right? No sharks. Just the Loch Ness monster come to visit. But I've heard Nessy's the friendly sort.
Re daughter and neighbor ... just make sure younger brother sticks close. The shark things a good idea.
Well Dee, its pretty understandable Gret would be nervous. Hit a lot of grownups that way too. Heck it was just recently I stopped getting nervous at the sound of sirens. 'though heart still stutters when I'm walking west on K Street and I see planes approaching National. But I think she'll be fine. She's got something to look forward to, something she really wants to do. Provide her with distractions and dad's strong hand to squeeze and she'll be fine.
My cat isn't interested in eating the critters she catches. I think she sees them as playmates. Which would explain why we once had to chase a bird around the kitchen. Mind you most of them do not arrive alive and kicking. But from what I can tell they probably died of heart failure. Well I would if some giant furry creature was carrying me around in its jaws.
RSSasRB said...
And people what is this about women should fight more like men? Yes, women can be nasty and hold grudges but we rarely start wars that kill hundreds of thousands.
No argument. But when women do fight its nasty and underhanded. So much better, I think, to haul off and punch some one in the face so they know who their enemy is.
Can't say I knew about the burning river in OH. But then, I'm an OH newbie. I do know Cleveland is north and if you hit the lake you have gone to far. I've seen the Cuyahoga River (Huey Lewis and the News were playing near there!)and every summer since I've lived here someone takes a swim in that river up by the flats. I'm taking bets on this weekend since the tall ships are in town and they'll be pirates and drinking.
Is this where I admit sheepishly I didn't even see the river reference in the post? Guess I wasn't paying attention. Ooops. So much for my snarky comment on reading and seeing, eh?
Too late to see Emeril and chocolate, bananas, and caramel. Damn.
There is some kind of awards ceremony at the Kennedy Center thing on PBS honoring Steve Martin. I'm hoping to see old footage of "King Tut" or "Wild and Crazy Guy." When I was a kid (too long ago to discuss) my cousin had Steve Martin LP's.
RS - yes, shooting alligators is illegal, but according to my brother, people do it all the time.
Margarita Cherrybomb - yes, I'm on a lake, in the middle of NY, like there would be jaws here. But realy, that movie just totally freaked me out as kid. Damaged me for life. As far as all the rest of critters go, well, I'm an outdoorsy kind of gal, and so there are lots of critters. We did a lot of camping when I was a kid. I don't do it much now, we have the cottage, but once a year we do a tent thing up in lake george. It's fun, and there is always some critter coming to get us. I've got a great bear story from when I was hiking in the High Peeks. Next post because I'm sitting here, in the dark, while teenagers are swimming, little brother is lurking and I think there is some hand holding going on. Geez, they just met!
And to add insult to injury, there is some concert going on at the beach at the end of the lake and they are playing the star wars theme as loud as all get out. My youngest son and his friend have gotten out the light savers and are running around hitting everything in sight.
Tal - Oh my, that picture of Bob was just classic! What a thing to circulate.
Phew!!! jen-t you are so lucky. You're DH lucked in when Talpianna didn't catch that your DH trapped a mole and left it on a garbage can in a plastic bag. OOPS! maybe I just pointed that out to her. Send DH to Tampa along with Shane, Dee's DH.
rssasrb loved your chipmunk story. That is what I would do. I love the little critters. I think they are really cute. Used to run into them all the time when we camped as kids in Algonquin Park.
green byzwjj
Bob, yec zings written (by) jubiliant Jenny.
nope red nndrujr
No new Doherty rules under Jenny's regime.
Forgot to mention that said mole was dead.
BTW I am now sporting a black eye patch with a small cluster of red cherries in the corner. Looks really neat. Thanks cherry magic sheryl.
green yjdtm
Yesterday, Jenny did terrorize Mayer.
BTW bon cheri bomb said Bob put a comments section on his updates page but there is no comments. Maybe we should go to Bob's site and put comments there that are totally supportive and flattering to Bob, although I don't think he should complain. We haven't given GAM status to just anyone.
He is our egg after all and we should be coddling him. Oops, that should be "cuddling" him. Never had a coddled egg but I am told they are not great.
Just a thought.
red gaqfpirs
Girls are qualified for principally inspiring regal status.
thanks for the author! (but was it lori who first mentioned it? now i'm curious)
tal: that picture is so adorable. (see, Bob, we find you adorable).
KI said "He is 15 years old. That should explain that."
ok, i admit, my brother did something that was even grosser (and yes, i'm going to share it with all of you). he got a new computer at the beginning of summer and so he spent all of summer locked up in his room. he slept during the day and was on the computer during the night. he turned a really sick pale white (the boy didn't see sun for three months!). now for the sick part: rather than walk the three feet from his bedroom to the bathroom, he peed in a water bottle. my mom went in there at one point and there was just bottles, lined up, filled with pee. all over the room. four or so years later and it still smells.
thanks for letting me share the memory. you can stop throwing up now.
Oh, orangehands that is way, way, way, way TMI. Yuck!!! What a way to say goodnight. I think that sent everyone to bed to have nightmares.
BTW Jenny posted on Argh Ink.
Good night!
red jwzku
Jenny was zapping killers urgently.
sorry scope dope. but i feel strangely lighter. it helps to share. :)
thanks for the update.
OH: Yeah, I started it. I agree with K.L. I'd start from the begining, (Undead and Unwed) but I need my series in order. I know some people don't care. Anyway, I knew you were doing a vampire reading thing, so I wanted to see what you thought of MaryJanice Davidson.
I've had a couple of chances to meet MJ D through library stuff, and she's a hoot.
My brothers & their friends have been known to pee in bottles on road trips, but it's tossed at the next stop. Bottles lined up for three months. That's gross.
Okay, reading Angels Fall, so bye now.
Lori said ...
Okay, reading Angels Fall, so bye now.
I finished on the subway this morning. That was a good one. I had it narrowed down to 3 people, one I really didn't want it to be, one I thought could be eliminated, and one I thought ... oh she wouldn't do that, would she?
No, folks, no spoiler here. You'll have to read it for yourself. However, Lori, when you finish I want to know your thoughts on something: Was X really tied to the chair or not? And if yes, how did X end up in a fight with Y?
ajkjtbt: Actually, Jenny knows judo; thus, Bob, touché.
MCB said "Was X really tied to the chair or not? And if yes, how did X end up in a fight with Y?"
ok, that's just annoying. i'm not getting this book for probably another few months. and now you have me curious. *sigh* i'm also 70 on Reacher's list. "i want my books," she whines.
as soon as i get the book i'll read it and tell you what i thought lori. (i too like my series in order). but i'll be gone for a week so not sure when.
orangehands you're leaving us? Where are you going? How will we survive? You know we get upset when we don't hear from you.
How did the interview go? Did you get the job? If so, when do you start?
blue wqexd
We question even Xavier, Doherty.
OH wrote: but i'll be gone for a week so not sure when.
Notice how she just slips this in all casual like. I suppose you weren't going to tell us about this, were you? You were just going to let us worry? You like the idea of Talpianna making us clap our hands and chant for a whole week, trying to make you reappear, while we wonder whether your brother avenged himself on you? (not that you don't deserve it for that last bit)
We want dates and times. And we want them now. We probably even need a destination and names of the company you plan to keep, to make sure we approve. Geez. Teenagers.
bw
*grin*
i was going to mention it, i swear. scouts honor. (which would be so much more believable if i was ever a scout, but we do what we can). last time i took off without telling anyone scope dope freaked out. and i was only gone a day. i would never do that to her or you guys again.
ok, leaving monday at 5 or so in the morning (ah, it's like i'm back at school). spending monday and tuesday and maybe wednesday in Santa Cruz (tuesday is orientation). then going up, up, and over to my mom's friend, who lives in the middle of nowhere and may or may not have electricity in her house. then back down home on friday or saturday. i will be with my mom so no stopping to meet CBs or i would have sent this out awhile ago to make plans. but i didn't till now because i know how you miss me before i'm even gone. you do. yes you, over there, at least you do. :) and, well, i forgot it was so close to now.
scope dope: aced the interview and got the job but thought about it over night and didn't like it so got rid of it. but i did get a new job. i'm cataloging over a thousand books and putting them in order to be sold on e-bay. just me, hundreds of books, and an empty air conditioned house. it'll be fun. he has everything from first editions to 06 books to whatever. my kind of job, even if the cataloging part will be boring (used to work in a library). but seeing all the books will be cool. i start when i get back.
but till monday, you have me to cook in coffee and offer maid positions to.:)
Whadda ya mean, jelly bean? OH we have you "to cook in coffee and offer maid service to?" I do not understand. Why would we cook you in coffee? Not me. I love you.
Great job for you. Unfortunately, I don't know how you will be able to do it without reading all those books. Could be a job loser if you attempt to. Be warned, my friend.
So what is this great adventure without electricity. Tell all.
red linnfpg
Look! It's Nigel's new-fangled pager game.
blue fckdoozp
Fearless chickens(?)knocked (on)doors over on Zaza's post.
OH: Your mom doesn't know about us, does she? I figured as much. She's just happy you leave the computer occasionally and walk the three feet to the bathroom, right?
Have a great time at orientation -- college is an exciting time filled with grand adventures and new friends. Just don't let the advisors talk you into badminton. Well, unless that's one of your goals. [grin]
You'll have to fill us in on all the details when you get back, and before I leave for my little adventure the following week.
bw
Scope Dope Cherrybomb said...
Whadda ya mean, jelly bean? OH we have you "to cook in coffee and offer maid service to?"
~~~~~~~~~
In a previous verification, Tal mixed OH and, I believe some feta cheese among other bits, into G-G's coffee. I don't know why. Who knows why moles do anything?
scope dope asked "So what is this great adventure without electricity."
my mom's friend, let's just call her M, started building up her house back in, oh, around the 1800's. (she's a vampire. that's how she's lasted so long. seriously, i think this year is the 25th or so from conception). just last year they added a bathroom. this year they started on the kitchen. not sure if there is electricity or any sign of a civilized world over there. M has a beautiful house from what my mom says, but it's only half-way done. they're living in a trailer for the time being. me and my mom get air mattresses. it's like camping- with luxuries. (i'm the original tent girl when camping).
BCB: LOL. she knows. she knows you as "this really cool blog community that teaches me things. and talks about penises. or was it penis?" and sometimes i read aloud parts. other than that, she stays away. she's afraid of catching whatever it is we obviously have. :) and i'll tell you all about the campus (i hear it's gorgeous but this will be my first time seeing itin person) when i get back. it may take me a day to catch-up, but i'll tell you all about it. (when have i ever shut-up?)
yes, i was coffee. and the Mole keeps asking me to be her maid. remember, scope dope? you saved me from her cheap pay and hard labor.
BCB: wait, where are you going? is this a J&B show or...and you thought I threw out little phrases just casual-like.
bcb would be going to Nationals in Atlanta with rg. Sigh! Maybe another year. I think New Jersey will be enough for me this year. I will be all partied out by the time we get out of the bar after having our Siberian Dutchmen. Notice the plural. /;) ,D .)
Holy Hannah! blue awgcwmg
Always was giving Crusie's writing more grades.
In a previous verification, Tal mixed OH and, I believe some feta cheese among other bits, into G-G's coffee.
Which is pretty weird, considering I don't drink coffee and don't even like coffee-flavored things. I think it's a cruel joke that coffee doesn't taste like it smells. It smells lovely. It tastes vile.
Serious tea-drinker here.
BCB and RG are so lucky! (i didn't realize it was so soon). dang, have fun and share all the details. cause if one of you doesn't, the other will.
g-g: hate the smell, taste, and, well, that's really all that's part of it, of coffee. you have here the tea drinker of all tea drinkers, and the water consumer of gallons.
glamour geek and orangehands you just expressed cherry magic sheryl's opinion of coffee. "Smells great. Tastes awful." You girls must have had some bad coffee. Great stuff and easy source of caffeine.
To all going to Nationals have a ball. Learn lots and share when you come home.
green qdvde
Quick darling, verify Doherty's existence.
No, it's the coffee. I've tried really good coffee. It's still appallingly bad.
I've got about two dozen varieties of loose tea and one box of tea bags because Numi's water sprite is quite lovely if you're in the mood for a ginger oolong. Other than that, there's a place in San Francisco called Red Tea Blossom that I go to and a place in Cambridge, MA, called Tealuxe that I still order from (because I used to live near it and there are a few things I really like from them). www.tealuxe.com and sometimes they have specials with free shipping. There are also a few tea shops near me and others in San Francisco.
Today's tea (from Tealuxe) is a black tea with rose petals in it, which is quite relaxing. It's very hard to be stressed or worried when you're drinking something that smells like roses.
My London cousins think that teas with fruit or flower scents and flavors are disgusting, but I rather like them and the cousins aren't here.
Jenny,
I've been reading this blog from the beginning, and I have three brothers, so I can tell you this:
Bob is teasing you because of your reaction. He enjoys driving you over the edge.
And--don't hate me--I think you secretly like giving it right back to him.
The difference is, you feel remorse aftewards. I doubt that Bob does.
So lose the remorse and enjoy the war. :)
Zeldaz - welcome!
G-G: I don't like the taste of coffee myself. For years I got my morning pick up from tea. Then it started bothering my stomach. I can drink it later in the day but not first thing in the AM - go figure that. So I had to get my caffeine fix someone. I hit upon the idea of mixing hot chocolate mix with my coffee and that worked well for a long time. I could even fix it at work. Nowadays they have flavored creamers so I use that in my morning cup. By the time I'm done it doesn't taste much like coffee.
Do you like fresh mint in your tea? I planted some peppermint just for the heck of it this spring and its growing at an amazing pace.
welcome Zeldaz!
yeah, i've had "good" coffee too. still disgusting. and actually, i don't like the smell either. the whole thing puts me off. one of the few things i don't like at ALL- in any form.
which doesn't stop my friend from buying Starbucks/Coffee Bean gift cards for my birthdays. every year i say, "there's a nice little Borders right next door" and every year i still get the coffee card. i'm grateful for the gift, i am, but even random strangers know i'm not into coffee, so how can a guy i hang out with every day (at least during school) for the last 3 or so years not know it yet? another example of men who don't listen...
MCB said "Do you like fresh mint in your tea? I planted some peppermint"
well, i'm not really into putting mint into things. my mom did grow some and it grows alarmingly fast, but then my brother peed on it and killed it all. (not that i would eat it after that, but they just wilted under his pee so it doesn't matter if i would).
TMI? i'm telling you, it clears the memory to share. sorry
Peppermint tea is just lovely (minus OH's brother's pee) if you have a sick stomach, but otherwise I don't like adulterating my teas with indiscriminate herbs. Each tea has its own characteristics and so should not be messed with by adding new elements, unless, perhaps, you are trying your hand at tea blending.
Well I planted the peppermint for fun and with the thought that it might help keep bugs away from my peppers. I may actually be working. Of course I also planted marigolds which the bugs don't like either.
I like a sprig in a cold glass of fresh iced tea or even in lemonade. But you don't want to go overboard on it. But like OH's mother found out, it grows at an alarming rate. I've got way more than its possible to think up uses for. for which I can think up uses? uses for which I can think up? Oh hell.
Not going to request anyone pee on it though as I've got the peppers and tomatos in that bed too. My lemon thyme is doing very nicely. Not growing as wildly as the peppermint, but pretty well.
I am SO not a tea person: I drink tea, but mostly just the ones with fruit and spices in them. Good Earth Herb and Tea blend is where I started, and now I drink all kinds of wacky things with ginger or cardamom, or pomegranate or Good Earth's vanilla decaf chai. Plain tea does very little for me, sorry.
I went to a tea place for a wedding shower, and they had these beautiful tied tea bundles that opened to show (and sometimes release) flower petals. I'd never even HEARD of it before.
I have to be really careful about caffeine: because I am an opportunistic coffee drinker, I don't tend to make it for myself at home. (I often will make it at work, so that the fair trade organic coffee I buy gets used, instead of the Maxwell House). If I drink coffee too many days during the week, I find myself with a headache on Saturday! So, I try to keep it to a couple of days a week, and otherwise drink tea or decaf.
jhlgwpx: jurisdiction hassles lead good women planning (e)xtradition
Tea comes in so many varieties it's hard to know what people mean by "plain tea," unless it's that hideous Lipton stuff which real tea looks down its nose at.
There are some really beautiful varieties, as well. I have a "Jasmine Pearl Supreme" that comes as little balls about the size of a medium sized pea, then open up into these lovely long pine-needle shaped leaves. And it smells and tastes divine.
I used to get a really beautiful black tea that included blue cornflower petals and was sweetened with, of all things, rhubarb, but the local place doesn't carry it anymore. Sigh.
Obviously, some of my geekishness lies in the tea realm.
Since I don't drink it for the caffeine anymore, tea has become more of a mood thing. And if I'm sick its either green tea or good old fashioned orange pekoe.
a Chinese friend of mine has this wonderful Jasmine tea that she gets from family back in China. It smells wonderful but it doesn't taste 'flowery' if that makes sense. Some of them are almost like drinking perfume.
I guess I am a nerd because I like Earl Grey Tea or uck, eek,...Red Rose Tea. Only in Canada eh? Just throw in a bag and let it steep. That's me. I rarely drink tea unless someone else makes it. cherry magic sheryl on the other hand is really into different teas. Her latest seems to be Raspberry Tea.
green prrctfmz
Pretty rarely, regal Crusie taunts, feeling Mayer's zingers.
Tea People--check this out:
http://www.isabellacatalog.com/shop/search.cfm
xkhsmea --rare variety of Uzbekistani yak tea
BTW--the sniper kitten is Bubbles. Remember Bubbles the Fluffy Kitten, found in the swamp by J.T.? And handed over to Bob for training?
Bob is a pretty strict taskmaster. Here's what happened when Bubbles peed in his shoe:
http://static.flickr.com/29/59880012_913f5a7524_o.jpg
rlrvmgk -- Robert loves RVs madly, & good kittens.
ommda -- Oh, my! Mean Doherty attacks!
I knew that had to be Bubbles! Clearly he's fallen in with a bad element.
Oh dear. *SNORT* Poor Bubbles.
I think the conference has a three day cancellation policy (yes, I checked). It's not too late.
bw
bon cheri bomb why does anyone need to know the cancellation date of Nationals? Surely you aren't thinking of cancelling? That would be terrible. You would then not meet JJ and Rg and many other lovely people. And look what you could learn. Don't cancel.
I know you have had a bad day but cheer up. Life goes on. We learn to leap the hurdles one by one.
Okay I'm off my soapbox now.
red zxcothko
Zaza exactly. Crusie's own turkeyvultures haven't killed others.
Sorry, scope dope, can't imagine what I was thinking. I guess seeing that picture of the cute little harmless defenseless kitten held at gunpoint for some IMAGINED transgression when it was probably only trying to have a bit of fun, well... I had an overwhelming moment of empathy.
I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm sure J&B know they couldn't continue to write in prison. Well, not profit from it at least. Not that they're doing much writing now anyway, what with all the constant discussion.
You all have to be prepared to initiate a fund raiser for a legal defense fund for Him and Her if it should become necessary.
But I'm sure I'll be fine. [gulp] Really.
bw
BCB: you are going to be excellent. hello, you are a CB. that automatically makes you amazing, and considering how good a CB you are...no worries. just have fun. enjoy yourself. find many books and authors. those are the best wishes i could give. :)
Of course you'll be fine, bcb. Just remember not to pee in Bob's shoes...
heafxs -- Happy Ever After ***s!
Gee, thanks so much for that visual. Damned diffucilt to type when you're laughing this hard. I might be able to control myself, unless you plan to show up and post pictures where I can see them. Then all bets are off re bladder control.
bw
BCB said ... You all have to be prepared to initiate a fund raiser for a legal defense fund for Him and Her if it should become necessary.
uh huh. We'll sell chocolate bars. Oh wait, probably we should sell something we won't devour the inventory of ourselves. We'll work on it.
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