Warning: Some Violence and Much Strong Language.SHE WROTE: Degree of Masters
Don't you people have school supplies to buy or something? I haven't been reading the comments but you're at 309. You're going to break Blogger.
Bob and I are working. Here's e-mail proof (with key words Xed out as usual):
BOB:
Ok-- let me rewrite the Rocko scene and send it to you tomorrow.
I think what I'll do if I have any rewriting is just do scenes and send them to you since you have the masters of both acts.
This is starting to come together for me. I was too focused on the X as you noticed. Shane's TP is just before it with X.
Agnes's might be right after.
JENNY:
Do you want the masters back? Because I'm writing off them, not in them.
BOB:
Nope. All yours.
I'm moving forward.
I'll send you scenes if I do any rewriting.
JENNY:
So I am Master of Our Domain.
BOB:
The Act One and Two Domain.
I am Master of Domain Three and Four.
That's it. That and the sound of two keyboards clicking. There's nothing to see here so move it along. Go talk to your kids about not smoking. Buy hand sanitizer and tennis balls and book covers and kleenex. Tell them how hard you had it when you were in school and there weren't any pudding packs or iPods. Go on.
We're writin' a book here.
230 Comments:
So we are back to Seinfeld again. All is well in Bob and Jenny land.
Please don't mind us. Write away. We'll just keep ourselves amused over here out of the way.
Wow I did it! Virgin blog. Of course I've got nothing to say really, so I'll just preen privately on being the first.
"Master of our domain?" And he has one and two and you have three and four? Whoa, that's wild. Funny, that is the only episode of Senfield I've ever watched and it was under protest. DH thought it was hysterical. I told him it was a dramatization and not base on fact.
Geez, Jenny - were at my daughter's high school this afternoon? You just gave us the same lecture the principal did. That's kind of comsic.
Thanks for posting - go write your book, I think you've the not so nice children something to talk about and they can now leave me alone. Thanks.
Oops, I got it backwards - she has one and two, he has three and four. Sorry, had a little fruedian slip there.
Thanks for the new post! The 300+ responses were getting to be a bit much.
Really, we don't need deep thoughts, just a "hey, there" when you're on hold or a page is slow coming up or something. Though the tantalizing hints and reflections, both witty and serious, are always welcome, too.
If you buy nice cloth handkerchiefs (preferably organic cotton) instead of paper tissues (e.g. Kleenex®), there's no garbage, no destruction of virgin temperate rainforest and no nasty shreds in the wash. And it costs less in the long run.
jygpumh: Jenny yelled gleefully, "Pull up my hostas!".
Sorry, I have an unreasonable dislike of hostas. I know they're useful in shady areas, it's just a thing.
I still have to purchase school supplies. And I probably will get to do that every late summer/fall for the rest of my natural life seeing as I (and those around me) think I am never getting out of school.
Long live the professional student.
They're writing a book!!!! Yeah, I mean we knew that ... in theory. We'd seen the bits and pieces and ducked for cover when the keyboard went flying. But now they're like REALLY WRITING A BOOK.
This is so exciting. And no, I'm not being facetious ... I feel like a kid who knows their getting a pony for Christmas.
christina said...
I still have to purchase school supplies. And I probably will get to do that every late summer/fall for the rest of my natural life seeing as I (and those around me) think I am never getting out of school.
Long live the professional student.
Never fear, the end will eventually be in sight. I see it. Over there. That's it, really, it's got to be the end! It's got to!!! **sob** It's been 8 years!!!!
No really, only the first couple years of grad school were hell. :)
Hey, Theresa in PGH, I have been meaning to write this but kept forgetting. I studied for a semester in Edinburgh back in 2000. You are going to have a great time! Just beware of the horizontal rain. ;) I tended to walk everywhere and only took the bus when I was going to be late for class. And it's just a quick train ride to Glasgow for more shopping (they have a huge Borders there--the Brit bookstores don't tend to have separate genre shelving for romance so I rely on the American chains) and Stirling if you want to visit the castle ther and the Wallace Monument (with the atrocious statue of WW (actually Mel Gibson).
If you find yourself travelling down south or if I make my way up north, we should have a little CB get-together.
Just use the Moot signal. ;)
Tal - Oh god, went back to last post and read your interpertation of me, regis and my lack of femininity - that cracked me up!
I am women hear me roar!
Off to roar at the flipping boys who are beating the crap out of each other again. Geez, If I get those school supplies earlier will school start earlier? And I tried the whole, didn't have a cell phone when I was your age, not even a home computer and the school still used typewriters (youngest child actually asked what that was), anyway, my daughter just laughs and tells me I'm not that old.
Off to be master of my domain!
Anyone not know what that means in terms of Senfield?
School supplies. Yeah, that's what we'll call them. Thanks, Jenny.
See, MCB never emailed me about stocking up for our little trip -- she is not very good at following directions, as you know -- so I had to go forag-- um, shopping without her. You know, those guys down at the armory just do NOT have a sense of humour. But once I gave them the slip I found some really amazing stuff that we can take up to Scope Dope so she can track us and protect us from harm on our journey.
Of course, I have no idea what half this stuff is for, or even what it's called. And I thought about asking The GAM for advice but, well, you know how he is. Just gets this glazed over look and says "Huh?" Took one too many for the team, is what I figure. Either that or he's been eating the leaves off that tree.
So Scope Dope, here's the thing. I figure anything that says WWII is a step up from the stuff that said WWI, right? Don't worry, I got a little of both, just in case "I" meant like first class and "II" was inferior.
And I'm sure with a little Rustoleum and ArmourAll this stuff will shine up like new. It's pretty high tech, if you ask me.
But here's the next problem. Jen-T's hot rich MARRIED friend in St Louis never returned our frantic emails re the use of his plane. So change of plans. I got this really good deal on a bi-plane -- that's like two for the price of one, right?
I am sooo good at being thrifty, especially with someone else's money. Ooops. Sshhh, don't tell, but in Atlanta I also found this little scrap of paper that turned out to be a receipt and had credit card information on it and the name was J. Crusie. So I figured, WTH, she won't mind. Right? She loves us. But don't tell her, she's busy writing a book for us. Don't want to distract her.
Anyway, Scope Dope, we need information about where is the nearest landing field and do they have anti-aircraft guns or heat-seeking missles or a remote field office for Homeland Security. Or anything else we should know about. You know, just in case. Not that we're doing anything WRONG. Exactly.
We just like to be prepared. Not that you'd know it by MCB's behaviour. Good thing I'm over here doing all the heavy lifting. Sheesh.
bw
jen-t sez: I am women hear me roar!
Great, not only is she an alien, she is (are?) multiple aliens and possibly schizophrenic as well. Hive mind.
One of these days BCB is going to disappear off this blog. And we will wonder what happened all of a sudden. And then, much later, we will find out that she really was taken in for questioning because, well, those HS and police types really don't have senses of humo(u)r.
But it's ok, because we have shovels.
Jenny- I love the part about book covers and kleenex. You know a teacher by the assignment of Kleenex for school supplies. The "cover your books before you get detention" rule was nasty. Thank God for paper sacks.
Yes- just keep on keeping on. We will just be busy imaginging you and Bob, him and you, in furious creation mode.
Can't wait for the birth of this book!!~!!
So I still don't know how to use blogger....sigh...I was the anonymous one.
BCB--I think you meant to say that the receipt said J. Smith, not J. Crusie.
No?
Oh Christina, don't be so literary. It was her gold nom de plume card. All famous authors have one.
G-G: It's ok, MCB is making such good friends with law enforcement types all over the continental US, and I'm sure she'll put in a good word for me. Right, MCB? And Maui is on the "to do" list (not like that, geez). So I think we've got it covered.
And if not, well, Jen-T and I have this little deal where she wisks me off to live on some strange planet where there are only rich hot UNMARRIED guys. She promised and I believe her. I believe her... I believe her... I belie..zzzaap. What? I'm fine, thanks, and how are you today?
bw
Uphill both ways, and in the snow, too. ALL YEAR ROUND.
Righto. Carry on.
Tennis balls? I couldn't figure that one out until I went to read the JCF digests and saw that they were to put on the desk feet. We don't do that here. The kids would be taking them off and throwing them. Then they'd take one or two from each desk and hold them for ransome or something.
Yes Jenny, I may need to be buying supplies but first I have to see what DH has already bought. Hmmm, 100 reams of notebook paper. It's stacked all over the house. Must have been a good sale. We're in a very small house at the moment because the&**^%^%^&*()&^%#$%&^ contractor still hasn't started on the house repairs.
Add to list of things to do tomorrow: inventory school supplies Make list of what's needed. Buy it.
DS16 is driving gf to college in the mountains tomorrow. (Following her mother) I'm going to be a worried wreck until he gets back Sunday.
BCB enthused:
Jen-T and I have this little deal where she wisks me off to live on some strange planet where there are only rich hot UNMARRIED guys
Oh Bon Bon. Do I have to explain why there might be a reason that this planet is populated only with guys?
Sigh. Y'know, McB promised to sit you down and have That Talk.
M-O-M~ Jen-T broke BCB and it was my turn to play with her next. She did it on PURPOSE! I saw her.
What? Jen-T? We're NOT supposed to be harassing you anymore. Oops, guess I pulled an OH on that one.
(OH~ Yes I'm poking a little fun at you, but on the plus side, you're becoming your own neat catch phrase)
rnlaqexp: Run naughty lbooth, aquire quietly excellent x-ray picture.
You know, I asked her if the reason they were so hot was because of all the flames that seemed to be shooting up everywhere I looked, but she said.. um, gee, I can't quite seem to remember what she said. You think I need to be worried about that?
And the all guys thing, she explained that too. Something about how they wanted to only worship one goddess. Did she say "at a time?" It's all kind of fuzzy.
Jen? I've got a couple of questions. And you know, those little pills you gave me in Atlanta? Well, they're almost gone. The pharmacist just gave me a funny look and picked up the phone, telling me to stay right there while he made a call. Well, of course I didn't have time for THAT nonsense. Geez.
bw
Hi Christina, definitely if the opportunity presents itself, we should have a CB get together. I'll be in Scotland for at least three years, and it would seem that there would be some sort of opportunity in that time.
And thanks for the tip about the Borders. Definitely will come in handy that.
Will you hurt me if I ask what year of grad school you're in?
theresa asked: Will you hurt me if I ask what year of grad school you're in?
You need to hurry up and finish that dissertation, because this is where that emotion/opinion text deciphering device would come in handy. Are you saying you want her to hurt you if you ask? Or that you won't ask if she will hurt you?
I can see why this field is getting so much attention. Fascinating.
I think I might have gotten some of Jen-T's pills mixed up with DD's pain medication. Yep, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
bw
Ah, school supplies. I just finished up my DSS's shopping over the weekend. We only bought half of the required stuff (Dh's ex supposedly got the rest) and I thought I'd have a coronary at the register. He's not looking forward to school this year. Then again, neither is my sister, a recently minted elementary ed teacher. In her first full year with her own classroom, she not only had a problem class last year (nice thing to give the rookie when apparently everyone saw it coming a year away) but problem parents as well.
If I wasn't afraid of falling in the wrong category, I'd be in favor of requiring parents to be approved before procreating.
hwzlglg: "Hey, wha zup?" giggled Lola's granny.
Okay - just got back from the pool at the club because it was movie night. Anyway, I'm sitting here, reading these posts, listening to John Cougar Melencamp and laughing so hard I peed my pants, again!
GG - I like being known as a multiple personality schizophrenic alien. That sounds much more appealing than Ding Bat number two.
BCB - Glad the zap got to you. Hush your mouth child. And it's not Godess Worshop - It's princess worshop, get your facts straight. And about those pills, well, I don't know what you are talking about. And that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
And oh, god before I forget. I'm going to buy this doll for Bob. Yeah, A doll. It's a GI Joe type doll, except its a John Wayne as a Green Beret. it's a 12 inch figure, fully articulated 'big boy' male body with over 30 points of articulation (what the hell is that?) It also comes with a M-16 sling and magazine some other little neat things. I almost fell over when I saw it. It's wild. Yep, going to get and bring to NJ. Maybe I could find a Princess Barbie with a pink T-shirt for Jenny, or maybe I should switch them around and they can be masters of their doll domain!
Lori - I broke BCB? Trust me honey, she was broken when I found her. Actually, I fixed her and made her sort of human again. You see, we had to do a few experiments on her when she failed to be controlled easily, but I think all is well now.
My own catch phrase? Oh god, again, crossing my legs as I laugh out loud.
About those tennis balls - they are really great in elemtary school and middle schools where the boys don't know the meaning of sitting still for more than 2 seconds. Although, in 5th grade my middle boy had his chair taken away all together. He kept standing, sitting, standing, sitting. it drove his teacher nuts. So middle child thought he'd ba smart ass and suggested the teacher take the chair away, he did.
Haven't done the supply thing yet. Only have one kids list. Need other two so I can go and get bulk crap.
BCB I'll have to get back to late tomorrow with Scope Dope's answer on the equipment. I will deep undercover on a recon mission. There's a plane down the road in a field, and several helicoptors that fly low over the Falls, presumably beneath the radar, that might serve us quite well. There's a rumour in RL about Navy Island which sits in the middle of the Niagara River betweeen our two fair nations. Supoosedly, you all have loaded it for bear and aimed directly at us , in case we should suddenly drop our nice facade.
Sorry I can't make it to DC on the 23rd. I'd like to listen to Starsky and Hutch while searching for photographers to shoot.
Bryan only said not to tell JenT. There was nothing in that about the rest of us...
Thanks to Jenny, I suddenly have the urge to go buy several boxes of #2 pencils. If they're the most popular why aren't they #1?
School supplies? Yep, that's one thing that I do NOT miss at all. We buy ours as needed throughout the year, and I stock up when there is a sale. It works.
Glad to hear that they are writing. Can't wait to read Agnes. It will be rather weird to read about Shane when he's right beside me (my DH). It still makes me laugh to think about meeting the GAM and Cherry in May. I got BOL for MY Shane, and had Bob autograph it, AFTER Jenny introduced me as "dee, she's a CherryBomb, Bob!" As he's writing "To Shane" he suddenly looks up and says "Shane? Really? Do you know we have a character in our new book named Shane?" I started laughing, and could barely get out "You don't say?" All the while, Jenny is just sighing and trying hard not to roll her eyes.
That GAM, our egg, he makes me smile.
CMS wrote: Supoosedly, you all have loaded it for bear and aimed directly at us , in case we should suddenly drop our nice facade.
Are you sure it isn't aimed at Minnesota? Nah, we're so nice no one even knows we're doing it. Tell Scope Dope we're standing by, awaiting instructions.
And please also give her extra love and hugs? Ditto for you.
And the pencil thing, geez, don't get me started. You would NOT believe... believe...
bw
STOP POSTING ON THE LAST POST! Geez, you guys are confusing me. Not good to do to an alien. Besides, it might piss me off. Worse than pissing off a women with PMS, although that can be arrenged.
Bryan - Oh please, like that little poke in the arm hurt. You're a big boy, you can take it. And as BCB so nicely (not) reminded, I'm pickable. Whatever that means.
I am not Regis! Geez, that is just weird.
Sheryl - so you read SDCB the blog for like two hours? Yeah, I guess we got a little carried away. But what else is there to do. I mean, I have no life. I sit around and wait for my kids to call, so I can go pick them up, then drive them somewhere else.
Okay. I'm off to bed. I was up at 6:15 this morning to take kid to hockey practice and I've got to get up at 6:15 to take kid to golf. Then we are off to the lake. Yes, the lake conversation gets started all over again. However, it's supposed to rain, and remember, I only have internet out in the front yard, so if you dont hear from me on Saturday or Sunday, well, don't worry, Jaws didn't get me, or at least I hope not. But i'll be around tomorrow.
Good night all
Get Jenny the doll I got for my birthday:
http://www.signals.com/signals/Item_Jane-Austen-Action-Figure_HC2062_ps_srm.html
jhhwl -- Jenny has her wolverine lover...
Don't you people have school supplies to buy or something?
No, thankyougod. Now ,I have a motorcycle to ride.
Jen-T wrote: it's supposed to rain, and remember, I only have internet out in the front yard, so if you dont hear from me
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Truth is, she melts if she gets wet.
BTW, dear, "articulate" has to do with expressing oneself clearly and coherently. Eloquently, even. Maybe even spelling so others can understand WTH you're talking about. Not something you need to worry your poor little head about.
Or did you mean this: transitive and intransitive verb: to form the kind of joint that allows movement
It's ok, guys, I've come to think of her as a little sister and, believe me, we can get away with this sh*t for the rest of our lives.
Tal: The doll is simply adorable. The resemblance is striking. [snort] Yeah, and Jenny would be the older sister. You can get away with it only until she catches you.
Sweet dreams...
bw
Holy cr*p. My computer bites the dust for three days - or four at most - and look what happens!
More blog than you can poke a stick at :P
...... so wish me luck. I'm going to my cousins' wedding. Two sisters marrying two best friends. Drunk relatives. Yucky wedding cake. Hours of sitting with eyes glazed over, nodding and making non-commital noises at appropriate intervals as a parade of aunts, uncles, cousins, second-cousins talk at me - not to me, at me.
*sigh*
At least I get to stay in a spiffy hotel :D
Plus... you can't go wrong with free alcohol... can you? :| :D
i finished my book (which i loved) and decided to catch up on the blog world. my mom is on a very important (aka need to be silent and will you shut Peaches-our dog- up?) call and i am typing very slooowly so not to make much noise.
and then you guys make me laugh my ass off, so i'm trying to be quiet and i'm shaking because i love you all. you guys are the best.
as g-g said, waiting for the HS guys to take you away. but they'd never get it right the first ten times, so we're just slowly going to be knocked off until they finally reach you two...and then you'll probably run over them in a car, spotting the hot highway patrolman guy running for dear life.
lori said "OH~ Yes I'm poking a little fun at you, but on the plus side, you're becoming your own neat catch phrase"
oh good. i'd hate to be a common catch phrase. :)
christina said "Long live the professional student."
hey, my cousin took seven, eight, nine years to get his degree. and i mean his bachelor's.
brooke: no, no, more emotion. "i woke up at three in the morning so i could do my chores in the freezing wind, being bitten by who knows what, trekked five miles uphill both ways in the snow, did my other chores until dawn broke out the next morning, and then started all over again. and that was during summer break in the city!"
BCB's line "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Truth is, she melts if she gets wet."
LMAO. but quietly.
erica: when you're near relatives free alcohol is NEVER bad.
hi CMS!
I was the first graduate student with tenure...
qtina -- What you'd get if you made ear swabs out of Christina
Mare Island (not free associating, just moved from the other post) - my cousin got married at the chapel on Mare Island because my uncle was in the Navy. It was a closed base. My date was an A-rab (went to Uni together) I'd been dating, and we had to carry the invite or they wouldn't let us on the base.
He had a little VW bug. We were lost and driving aimlessly, looking for someone to ask for directions, when he noticed these railroad tracks set into the road. He decided it would be a good idea to follow them and maybe we'd finally find a live human. When we started out, the tracks were emebedded in the asphalt. Then the asphalt got lower, making the tracks stick up. Then, the tracks veered away from the road and off into some warehouses.
Unfortunately, they were just the perfect width to fit between the bug's wheels, so we had no choice but to veer off into the warehouses, too. He kept going faster and faster (like that was going to help), frantic and embarassed (Middle Eastern male), and I was laughing so hard I nearly wet myself. Finally some MP (SP?) managed to intercept us. We showed him the invitation, I had to show ID to prove it was mine and answser a few questions about my relationship to "the Old Man," and he led us to the reception. Yes, we'd missed the whole darn wedding. It still makes me laugh.
ocqaykpw (red)
okay, Kewpie after a few too many Cosmos
rnjqisdr (blue)
Rene nudged Jennie. "Quick, it's safe. Don't run!"
glamour-geek said...
jen-t sez: I am women hear me roar!
Great, not only is she an alien, she is (are?) multiple aliens and possibly schizophrenic as well. Hive mind.
I TOLD you she was spawning!
sidodt -- what you do if nobody asks you to dance
mdmmin --how you'd address the heroine of BET ME if she ran a whorehouse
Jen-T sez "And it's not Godess Worshop - It's princess worshop, get your facts straight." Now *taking her aside, whispering* what you mean is war-shop. Where you can buy those guns and things and John-Wayne-GI Joes. Just thought I'd point that out to you, poor women.
Hear you roar. All of you.
qesorcmx - a quesadilla cherry mix (wonder what that tastes like)
Oh my! I really shouldn't read this blog while drinking anything. I now have hot chocolate on my computer screen because I was laughing so hard. And, because I have fluid in my body, well, you know what happens. But is time to move on to the Diet coke. Need the caffine.
I melt when I get wet? BCB, You watch too many movies about Aliens and witches. Neither of which melt when you pour water on them. There is a certian Alien form that has issues with water, but they have issues with Doorknobs too. That is not my kind. But sharks do have a certian taste for my kind, but they can only eat us after dark, otherwise I have just enough time to react and zap them ten times worse than the zap I've given you. Take your pill, you are starting to fall apart again. And i warned you what could happen if you stopped taking them all together. That wouldn't be a pretty sight. Really, trust me.
TAL - I'm spawning? Oh, god, please no. The three I've already produced are diving me nuts.
BCB - ARTICULATE this! Giving you a gesture, you know the one, read between the lines. And just remember, you will always be older than me! Yeah, I'll rub it in. And you can take your transitive verb and shove it.
And you all should hear our phone conversations. I swear, we are like sisters. Ha, BCB - that makes you an Alien by osmosis! you and your big words. Use little ones, I'm tired of having to get out the damn dictionary everytime I talk to you.
But the question still remains - who is master of their own domain?
Well I don't have any kids to buy school supplies for, so I'll just sit back and try to keep up with the madness I've stepped into here and wait anxiously for Agnes and Shane. I'll try to be quiet.
pgjiqkgr: people grab Jenny's insight; quiet kids, GAM's rewriting.
OH said: "i woke up at three in the morning so i could do my chores in the freezing wind, being bitten by who knows what, trekked five miles uphill both ways in the snow, did my other chores until dawn broke out the next morning, and then started all over again. and that was during summer break in the city!"
That reminds me of the one and only time I was babysitting my nephew.
Nephew: "I don't like potatoes."
Me, pointing at potatoes with sharp knife: "You're going to eat your potatoes. You're going to eat your potatoes and like 'em. You know, when I was a boy, we didn't even have potatoes. We had to eat dirt. We had to eat dirt and we liked it. Meat and dirt. And if we didn't have any meat, we ate dirt soup. And we liked it. We didn't have any fire either. It was cold soup, raw meet, and dirt. Eat your potatoes."
They never let me babysit again.
jen-t said: "And, because I have fluid in my body, well, you know what happens."
As often as this happens to jen-t, I don't think she melts when she gets wet.
Jen, when we finally do meet, you know, after I've met all the other CBs and work up the courage to meet you, we'll go shopping for fresh underwear.
ME- shame, shame, double shame, everybody knows your name-- do NOT try to be quiet. Once we get you to break the lurker veil we want you to stay on the dark side with us, yakking, talking, and genrally making a mess of the world. Trust me it's a lot more fun here than there.
Clarification from the previous post-- I am the one who has a hole in my wall, previous discussion was what I should stuff in said hole, it was suggested that Orangehands would fit- that was the stuffing OH in a wall reference. And if all those folks are going to come to her support with their shovels I don't want her in my wall. But I'm putting together a treasure map. I have buried a treasure without compare in the backyard. Feel free to bring those shovels and look for said treasure. I promise it will be worth your time.
bryan: You don't need courage, just a hazmat suit and a SWAT team. You can borrow mine. Well, once MCB is done with the SWAT team you can have what's left of them. And you might need a roll of duct tape, or two, to patch up those scorch marks. Do NOT turn your back on her.
She's kidding about the dictionary. I mean, c'mon, those things are useless if you can't spell.
Ok Jen, go ahead and tell us before you explode. Obviously you and The Cherry and The GAM are the only ones who have seen that episode. I have no idea about the Master of the Domain. That isn't short for Domainatrix is it? No? Ok, we're waiting. Explain. [this should be good] But hurry up, I've got to go to work.
bw
bcb,
You haven't seen the "Master of Your Domain" episode? What planet have you been on? Oh, wait... nevermind.
Nope, don't watch it. I guess I'm one of those poor fools who never fell in love with that show. Though I hear I might be in good company in that regard.
And, geez, I really have been hanging out with Jen too long. Lost my ability to articulate: Those scorch marks are on the hazmat suit, not the SWAT team. We had to take MCB's matches away after that unfortunate incident with combustible material in the back seat.
bw
Bryan -You will never, ever get me to wear a corset again, so, nope we will not go shopping for new undergarmets. Geez.
BCB - crap - that's waht you do to me. I laugh so hard i loose all control of my bodily functions. Memories of me screaming at my mother to just tell me how to spell something because I couldn't find it in the dictionary. When she would look at the page I was on she chuckle then say "Honey, that's because you're the word you're looking starts with an S, not a C." I'd say. "Then just tell me how to spell, I obviously can't sound it out." She'd snort, then open up to the page the word was on and say "It's on this page, go find it." i burst into tears and cry and tell her she's scared me for life, she'd say, "You'll get over it."
I guess I've never gotten over it, huh?
Bryan - loved the potatoto story. I say crap like that all the time to my own children. When you have three, you can never please all of them. Then throw in a husband, geez, I can't win. So when they say they don't like something I just slap more of it on their plate and say "I don't care and if you don't eat it, you will eat it for breakfast." Yep, they usually eat it.
And for the record, the average kid eats about 2 pounds of dirt by the time they are 4. Not to mention that the average person eats 3 spiders in their sleep a year. And nope, I will not go see the snake on the airplane movie. Although, I'm sure when it comes out on DVD, dear husband will rent it, the bed will vibrate and I will have even more issues with snakes, planes and everyting inbetween.
Seinfeld Master of your Domain episode
Just so you know I was not asleep on the job ... well I was but that was a different job ... I gave the list of supplies to those two nice looking guys in dark glasses that follow me everywhere (its embarrassing but that's the price of fame) and asked if pretty please they could get these for me, being such big strong men, and send them to your address, BCB. They said it might take some time to pull together everything we want, but I think you should be expecting a courier ... any time now.
And the matches incident ... I was trying to destroy evidence. BCB is bad about leaving the stuff laying all over the place.
I have seen only a few episodes of Seinfield, and they were under protest. The master of your domain eposide had my husband in stitches when he first saw it. I could hear him laughing hysterically and he almost fell off the couch because he was laughing so hard. Now, my husband and I are complete opposites in many ways (all though we are both gemini's which is very interesting, but I won't go there).
Sorry, rambling again.
Anyway, DH is Mr. Serious, never cracks a smile and most of the time I have no idea if he's joking or not. So laughing, well, he leaves that for me since I laugh at everything, especially myself. So, I enter the family room to find out what is so funny and of course, he's taped the stupid show so he rewinds the DVR and tells me I've got to watch this.
So this eposide is about a bet the cast of characters makes with each other. Who can remain master of their domain longest. I guess, none of them are getting any YEX, so the bet is who can go the longest with taking care of themselves, by themselves. (Yeah, I explained it without saying the word). What got my husband laughing so hard was that the first person who lost the bet, was Elaine, the only female involved. To this day, my DH says I'd lose that bet everytime. He's even offered to make the bet. One of these days I should take the bet and just make the man suffer for being such an Ass!
Now you all know about Master of the Domains.
New posts on Well Behaved :)
jen-t,
not all underwear is in the category of "corset". I was just thinking I'd help you shop for something in the category of "dry".
bcb,
It's a good thing you don't take on the job of parsing all of Jen-t's posts... that would be like a full time job.
Okay, to keep up with ya'll I am actually writing these comments in openoffice as I read your blog comments; then I will paste. Jaysus people, I am gone for ONE day at 309 comments? I've read 'em but no way can I respond to them all.
So Jen-T. I have figured out your secret. There are really two of you! (as befits the sign of the twins) One is Jenni, who is perfect. The other is Sue. Who is not and looks like Regis Philbin on Tuesdays and Bank Holidays. That is the only explanation how you are raising three active kids, lolling around a lake, playing golf, cooking, cleaning and writing a book and blogging like a madwoman. I got GDF just form typing a list of all the stuff you do! I am both bitter and very jealous :0)
Dee. I actually got my masters in Med. Anthropology studying women who selected midwives & doulas & natural birth versus hospital birth. I am a big doula fan. Ask me about Tweety's waterbirth sometime!
Bryan, is Fazoli's at 7:30 still good for you? Will you be the one in a cabana boy outfit?
Christina and Theresa: I was in school a total of 12 years to get two BS and one MA degree. I am a freak. I feel your pain.
BCB: I was LMAO at the very concept of you in a biplane bought with Jenny's nom de plume card!! In fact I spend most of my lime ROFL when i read this post. But at least I don't pee myself. Of course, I am not an alien. Like some people.
I have so much fun here. But Jenny and Bob need to post every time we reach 200. 309 is simply more than I can assimilate. I have one brain cell that still functions and its full.
iisawer: I insist someone admire weary exhausting replies
kyra,
7:30 at Fazoli's is good. I'll be there. No uniform though... black slacks, grey t-shirt, starting to grow my goatee back.
I'm looking for a redhead with a DH and a daughter, right?
And the gag order is lifted. You can share with jen-t if you want because I will be offline for two weeks and probably not going back to read all the comments I missed anyway.
And this might have something to do with why the comment count is skyrocketing lately... I've been using Jenny and Bob's blog to schedule dinners and vacations.
Jen-T: Gemini's are versatile by nature. Plus, different moon/rising signs and planet make big changes. The sun sign is like saying someone is Italian, or American or English. It's a broad brush that gives you a likelihood of their outlook on life.
I have this thing I came up with I call Muppet Astrology. Each of the main muppets represent a sunsign. Gemini is the band. The whole band. Janice, Dr. Teeth, the whole gang. Because there are many many people in each one Gemini. Except Animal. Animal is a Sagittarius. Anyone else wanna know their muppet/sign?
Bryan. Yep, it'll be a redhead, her Sweet Babou and a wee cute 16 mth old Tweety Bird. Where is the Fazolis in Columbus anyway? In relation to 46/I65?
conscripted cherry:
I'm usually very NOT quiet, but in here, I feel so...out of the loop maybe? There is so much I have to learn. But I'm trying, I'm trying!
Kyra: OOH What's a Muppet Aquarius? I love the Muppets.
Bryan - Goatee? I've lost all respect for you man. And i'm not commenting on BCB possible full time job with my posts. Geez.
Kyra - um, there are more than two of us sharing my brain, which should explain all of my issues. As far as blogging like a mad women, well, I've got nothing better to do, although, I'm logging off now because I've got to go get kid from the rink and he's got to mow the lawn, then off to the lake. yep, lake, lake, lake, to fisit the ducks, ducks, ducks and do nothing, nothing, nothing - but write and ignore my children. I've already apologized to them a million times, they should be well adjusted adults like all of us on this blog.
Me: I just jumped right in. Of course, I have shoe prints on my ass where Jent-T, BCB and MCB went right over me, but it is a small price to pay. Sometimes they mock me, and I feel loved. Because I'm just a sucker with no self esteem. (Anyone else remember that song?)
great song, Kyra. But now I can't get it out of my HEAD!
Gonzo is the Aquarius. Because Aquarius has a very different way of thinking, a very different sense of humor, and would be willing to get shot out of cannons. Furthermore, most Aquari are very attractive to members of the opposite sex. Remember Gonzo and his flock of groupis. Flock of Groupies .. good name for a rock band.
Jen-T: LMAO but NPIMP (not peeing in my pants)
me: that was my evil intent
School supplies x2 - $45.00
Backpacks x 2 - $30.00
prepaid lunch tickets x 2 - $60.00
New School T-Shirts x 2 - $20.00
Bus #/stop assigned - 35 min line
Car Rider # assigned - 20 min line
(It's a "Schoolyard" security deal)
1st Day of school outfit x 2 -
$35.00
Classroom snacks x 2 - $5.00
First day of school - PRICELESS
DDs started school yesterday. My oldest is in 3rd grade and can walk to class all by herself - as I was told NUMEROUS times. My youngest started 1st grade (sniff). She started out nervous, but was fine in minutes after seeing her "very best friend" from kindergarten.
Remember Michael Keaton in Mr. Mom? The school crossing guard advising him "Your doing it wrong!" scene so describes how I felt yesterday. My kids go to a newly constructed for 500 kids school. Enrollment on meet the teacher day was at 864. (Imagine 1/2 the playground taken over by pre-fab buildings, barely enough parking for the teachers, and 95% of the kids being dropped off either by parents or a bus!)
The hallways were filled with mutant stay at home/PTA/voluteer MOMS. They had matching shirts and whistles. They scared me to death. (Yes, on this, you can bless my little heart!) I kept getting the "oh, you're one of THOSE working moms" looks from them.
I'm so thankful to be at work finally. At least I can read the blog and vicariously travel the country and learn some alien tricks of my own.
TGIF!
Wtaryggy - fuhgeddaboutit!
Okay... easiest way...
Take 46 into downtown.
Turn left on Washington.
Turn right on 25th.
Turn left on Central.
Turn right on 31/National.
Fazoli's in on the left.
25th Street is 46 as you head out of town to the east.
And the gag order is back in force... time to be mean to jen-t again. Doesn't like my goatee. Jeez. She hasn't even seen pictures of me yet. That might be my best feature.
Gonzo...so fitting. Actually, I call my car Gonzo, so it works. Don't know if I want chickens following me around though.
And the song is Offspring, I think? I'll be singing it all day...and no one wants to hear me sing.
bon cheri bomb said...
You need to hurry up and finish that dissertation, because this is where that emotion/opinion text deciphering device would come in handy. Are you saying you want her to hurt you if you ask? Or that you won't ask if she will hurt you?
Ah, yes, ambiguity in text. Good for keeping me in a job until we get that AI thing solved.
And to answer your question, in spite of evidence to the contrary torturing myself with years of grad school, I am quite averse to pain. So, no if Christina is going to hurt me if I ask her what year she's in in grad school, then hmmumum. Not asking.
yjoybx - The latest new video game machine! Coming soon to stores near you.
Maricia: sounds like a fun time was had by all. Did you let DD 3rd grader go to class by herself, or will she be telling her therapist about it 20 years from now?
Bryan: that's the easiest way?? :0) See you there at 7:30. I'll blog just before we leave the house ot reconfirm our eta.
Kyra,
I'm offline at 6pm as I have a few things to take care of this evening before I meet you.
call me at 812.371.0467 if there is a change in plans.
Me: well, being aquarius you wouldn't notice the chickens :0) Yeah, Offspring. I also get "pretty fly for a white guy" stuck in my head too. Worse, I get Weird Al Yankovic's "pretty fly for a rabbi" stuck in there.
Bryan, are you allowed to put phone numbers on here? Doesn't that break secret confidentality agreements? :0)
Bryan, are you allowed to put phone numbers on here? Doesn't that break secret confidentality agreements? :0)
Theresa in Pgh wrote: Will you hurt me if I ask what year of grad school you're in?
No, I won't hurt you. Promise.
I am doing my second masters so when I return next month to school I will be beginning my fifth year of grad school. Then I am applying to the doctorate program--if I stay in the UK I can finish it in 2 (but more likely 3) years, but if I return to the states it will be another 5. I hope to stay in the UK. ;)
Talpianna wrote: qtina -- What you'd get if you made ear swabs out of Christina
Very fitting considering all the cotton between my ears. At least it sounds like a brand name. :)
CC wrote: I have buried a treasure without compare in the backyard. Feel free to bring those shovels and look for said treasure.
I'm so there! I am having excavation withdrawal and yardwork just isn't cutting it for me. I'll even bring a wheelbarrow and my trowel.
Talpianna wrote: I was the first graduate student with tenure...
Tal, what exactly is your field--medieval lit? I'm curious.
gecuusq (green)-- a fancy gecko-based soup
Kyra,
It's okay... it's one of those secret untracable cell phones anyway.
But that's why I put dots instead of dashes. It confuses the bots and they don't realize it's a phone number.
Bryan: (snort) hee hee hee Would one of the bots be Tom Servo? Or are you too young to remeber MST3000?
Christina: It would take me forever to go back for my PhD too, but I'm gonna someday.
I'm off now peeps. Have fun without me (if possible).
Kyra . . . it was a covert operation. DD walked herself to class. Mom casually walked by a few minutes later and glanced to make sure she was in the right class. She was! And, I was so proud of her.
She has had some trouble with reading in school, and is sometimes very quiet and reserved. She'd picked a desk on the front row near the board and the teacher!
I also avoided the Mom Patrol and snuck out the side door. Phew!
School days ... what I didn't know until many many years later, I wasn't really walking to school completely alone. Mom had figured out that the school was just visible from an attic window. So she'd watch me out the door, then move to the front porch and watch me as far down the street as she could. Then run upstairs and wait anxiously at the window until I appeared in view.
I'm in my 40s and I'm not at all convinced she doesn't still do something similar every time I leave the house. Moms. Gotta love 'em.
medpm. The new brand of sleeping pills. (that was waaaaay to easy)
The Muppets, Offspring, and now MST3000. Kyra the Red is sending me on a trip down memory lane...
So what are Libras on the Muppet Zodiac?
Thanks, Kyra, now I know that being an Aquarius I'm not only pickled but resilient, but also different. So it seems. Could also be due to the fact that I'm German that I feel so strange and out of place at the moment. No school supply problems (we only have 6 weeks of summer vacation and that obviously changes everything), no chance to make appointments with Bryan or any other goatee models, and very far away from extraterrestrian spells. Too bad I lost my flock of groupies, though.
I wonder if you're all too busy over there or can you answer one of my weird questions again: are there exact definitions on what is a mass market paperback resp. a category and all that, or are these terms just a basic attempt to subdivide paperbacks... Because up to now I was naive enough to think that there was just hardcover and paperback, period. And I buy the latter because otherwise my shelves will fill up as quickly as my money runs out.
Bryan - post the damn picture and I'll get off your back, or maybe not. And it wouldn't matter if you were the sexiest man alive and a GAM, I don't like beards, or mustaches or goatees. I'm weird that way.
Why is that you guys always manage to hit my totally freaked out button. Geez. When I was a kid, I had this reaccuring dream involving the muppets. To this day I can't watch the muppets, never let my children watch that show. The dream was that millions of evil kermit the frogs came racing down the stairs and attacked me, biting at my legs, arms and trying to kill me. I swear I had that dream like ten times in a week.
You can all stop gasping, or laughing or whatever you are doing. You all know I'm squirrel food, shark food, whatever.
Jen-t,
If I'm dating someone I am usually clean shaven. I think I only had one girlfriend who liked facial hair and I think it was more to spite her ex- who had a peachfuzz face.
I'll post a picture... it's just got to wait until after I get back. Meanwhile, see what you can get from kyra, mcb, and dee. If you're lucky, they won't use it as an opportunity to tease you. Not that I'm suggesting they would... just, well... I'm just sayin'.
Kermit wouldn't hurt a fly!
Oh. wait....
colognegrrl: A mass market paperback is a small and relatively cheap version of a book, usually coming out after the hardback ... but not always. Nora Roberts usually puts out her trilogies in paperback form.
'Category' usually refers to the smaller paperbacks that a publisher might become known for, such as Harlequins or Silhouettes.
Then you've got the recent trend, which I deplore, of putting out "trade" paperbacks which at 198 mm × 129 mm (8" × 5¼") are taller than the standard paperback size and, IMO, more awkward to hold. These are usually reissues of hardbacks but again not always.
me wrote: Kermit wouldn't hurt a fly! Oh. wait....
he he
Me: lol on that one!
You lull us into thinking you're this sweet innocent wallflower then... ZING! you strick hard and fast.
Good one.
Okay everyone. Your assignment prior to meeting up in NJ this October is to learn the words to "Its Not Easy Being Green"
njrsg: (blogger is being way too nice to me today) New Jersey Romance signing ... good!
Oh now I never said I was sweet and innocent.
Bryan said "If i'm dating someone I'm usually clean shaven." Um, Bryan, maybe you need to be clean shaven to get that someone so you can date them. Just a thought. And so glad to hear it. Every male should be clean shave. Well, except maybe Grizzle Adams, and yes, in a weird kind of way, I find him attractive.
Bryan - how long does it take to post a picture? Geez. You said you'd be on line until about 6pm. Come on. We've decided not to head to the lake until tomorrow because my lovely husband decided he didn't want to have two cars down there and he's playing golf in the morning. And well, gas prices here are capping out at 3.23 a gallon for premium so sigh, I do more laundry.
MCB - Ha! It's not easy being me! As far as it's not easy being green, I'll bring the song because I have it. And it's Kermit singing. I us it in dance class. Yes, it wiggs me out, yes it's therapy and yes, i really did have that reaccuring dream.
Okay, fold one load of laundry, vacume the upstairs and then write a chatper. Be back later.
Me said: "Oh now I never said I was sweet and innocent."
No, but you did say earlier "I'm usually very NOT quiet, but in here, I feel so...out of the loop maybe? There is so much I have to learn. But I'm trying, I'm trying!"
I had images of you standing at the edges of the party, shifting your balance from foot to foot, maybe even shuffling a bit... the hostess comes by to check on you... "No, I'm fine," you say. "Just getting my bearings". Conversations continue. Jen-t mentions this crazy phobia about a cuddly little frog who has somehow mutated into a school of pirahnas... and with one small comment you have everyone rolling on the floor. You're stealthy. Not to be underestimated.
Jen-t... it's not the posting time... it's the processing time for the film... and the fact that I didn't use the entire roll so it's still in the camera.
Hi All,
I am home from work today because I need to take my 8 yr old DD to the doctor. Poor thing was at the pool yesterday and one foot slipped into the water as she was walking on the side. She centered herself on the edge of the pool. Yeah. Like that. She spent the entire evening with a bag of frozen peas between her legs. Today she is walking like she just got off a horse. I think she is just very bruised and sore, but need to be sure. I'll catch up with you all when we get back.
Bryan, that's actually a pretty darn good description of me...and how I lure the unsuspecting ones in.
And now you've all been warned...
And BTW I like goatees and beards.
nbeid: never believe everything I do
I find it funny that Bryan has told us repeatedly that he can't post the photo because he has yet to use up the roll of film, but Jen-T, persistant woman that she is, seems to be deaf.
I love this place.
Kyra: Gonzo? Rock on!
As for the checklist:
Different way of thinking and different sense of humor
Yep, but most people just look at me and say, "you're weird."
Willing to be shot out of cannons
Sounds like fun.
Attractive to members of the opposite sex
I find that rather fun and interesting, but I think I might fall out of the group there. I'm only appealing to males under 11 and over 60 and not in that way. Plus I haven’t the foggiest notion what I'd do with a Flock of Groupies.
Did Tal just sing our song, or did she say she was an aquarius as well? I could totally see her as a Gonzo. (I know, Tal, you’re a mole, but isn’t that just case in point?)
As to facial hair: I like it. It has to be well groomed, but once it gets past the prickly stage, it’s wonderfully soft. And it tickles.
christina,
you have to cut jen-t some slack. Between kermit, the sharks, and trips back to the home planet... well, she's got some things on her mind right now.
Bite me!
Oh and Bryan - one word - DIGITAL! Welcome to the land of technology. Geez.
Oh, and your like a photographer, don't you like take pictures for a living. Geez, my DH once took 15 rolls of film in two days. (Oh, God, BCB - get your damn mind out of the flipping gutter, would ya!)
JenT - For me it was nightmares of ScoobyDoo. You know how usually, they would escape certain death and dismemberment at the last minute. Except in my dreams they didn't.
I also dreamed one of aliens taking over the world. Were you in on that?
Must say to all my Gonzos ... he never noticed the chickens liked him either. They were all just his friends. Female Aquari are clueless until somebody gets naked. Male Aquari are quicker on the uptake.
It's funny that Kermit became a Plethora of Pirahnas (also a good name for a band) becuase he is the Pisces. So, any crazy Pisces you fear?? Besides me? It ain't easy being green ... or flakey but sexy ... but i manage.
Libras are Ralph the Dog. They are witty and charming and smooth and funny. And shallow but brillant of course :0)
Tweety says hi. I'll post later. hugs from Kermit
Oh yeah. THE CHERRY is both Dr. Bunsen Honeydew & Beaker. The two together = one Virgo.
jen-t said: a whole bunch of stuff that well, basically criticized my chosen artistic medium. Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see her repressing me? You saw her, Didn't you?