Warning: Some Violence and Much Strong Language.SHE WROTE: Your Caption Goes Here
Jay Wiggs took this photo of Susan Wiggs, me, and Bob. Clearly I haven't combed my hair in months (it was the end of a very long day) and Bob . . . well, I think the picture speaks for itself, but a caption is more fun.
Surrey, the Whirlwind Tour
Living the Dream Never Stops
The Bob and Jenny Show: Poetry in Motion.
Your caption goes here:
141 Comments:
'Just let me conjure up my genie...'
Chasing the Ghost in Surrey
Whatever Happened to Movement Draws Fire?
Delta Force Stealth in Action
Just off the top of my head. Which is not moving.
Looks like a picture I would have taken, except it's pretty much centered.
bw
An Australian fan who has never blogged before and I think I am first
FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET...
Incidentally, the flamingo in the book I was reading killed a woman. It's OK, though; she REALLY needed killing.
fdloqu --Fast Doherty looks odd. Queries urged.
Whoa!!!! Movement might draw fire, but they'll have to find him first. Was he coming or going?
Susan, Jenny and The Flash.
Udsrv: You deserve ... something, that's for sure.
Hi Anne!!! Not first (we're very sneaky) but certainly welcome!
I don't know about a caption, but the picture looks kind of scary. Sort of like the headless horseman.
Check out the position of Jenny's hand. I think she's rope-a-doping his head...
cywnqk --Can you write now, quickly, Kemosabe?
You know, I've heard other writers talk about "conference head" but I've never actually seen it until now.
Welcome Anne -- I think we beat you by sheer proximity. Does that make a difference with internet stuff?
bw
BCB suggested ...
Welcome Anne -- I think we beat you by sheer proximity. Does that make a difference with internet stuff?
I dunno. Its later there. Like tomorrow already, isn't it? Come to think of it though, its much earlier where Tigress is and she WAS first, so you might have a point. Tigress got there, um, this morning, we're here tonight, and Anne has shown up, uh, tomorrow morning. Or something like that. Anyone got an aspirin.
Yes, the position and suggested movement of Jenny's hand does have a suggestive quality. Maybe Bob didn't take her suggestions for the YEX scene?
What we need here are sound effects. Like punching bag noises. What does that sound like? thubada thubada thubada thubada
And the winner and new champeeen ...
Cherry does her best Crusie Cross.
welcome anne.
is it weird i've taken a lot of pictures like this?
"Jenny, Susan, and Quick Face"
(i just had econ. this is the best i can do for now)
Bob also looks like one of those doggies at the back windshield of a car whose head bobbles when brakes are applied.
Is that J's purse? How in the world can she manage with something so tiny at a conference?
Ummm....Wonderwomen Meet Bobblehead?
Welcome, Anne. I guess time travelling from Oz is still a little iffy for making the first comment.
ytgjwfvx: Yes. To Go Join Women, First Veto Xavier.
"SEVEN DAYS"
Happy Halloween!
wouldn't she/he post and we all get it at the same time, it's just at the same time is really different times because of time zones?
***
Bobblehead. *still laughing* i vote for Bobblehead Bob.
***
how many countries celebrate Halloween? i know the USA, but what about Canada and England and Germany and Aussie Land and....
Faster than the speed of sound
Jenny snaps, Bob obeys
Susan: You're writing much quicker these days.
Jenny: It's not me, it's Bob. See
We celebrate! One of my favourite holidays.
cherry magic sheryl said what I was thinking -- only much, much more succinctly.
Good job, Sheryl.
Starring Bob Mayer as the Invisible Man.
NONONONO JENNY; PRINCESS STAYS
Tsk, Bob, tsk. You have Only Yourself to Blame.
You know how thorough Jenny is about researching her writing. (As evidenced by her research into cooking for Agnes.)
You know she's just finished writing a book featuring a character who performs magic.
And yet, you insist on provoking her into a demonstration of her powers? I can almost hear Jenny saying to the woman next to her "Want to see what happens when I snap my fingers?"
Thank you Jean, I but live to serve, or please, or because Bob says I can, or something like that : )
Bob, The Whirling Dervish
With friends, Susan and Jenny
Welcome, Anne to "Living the Dream"
dkhbnolz...green
what the Dervish says
nanimo: *snort*
i still vote for Bobblehead Bob though. the businesswoman in me even says we should sell them at the...uh, "selling place" on the new site. (WTH is that place going to be called? did we already decide this? why can i not remember?)
CMS: Halloween is the best holiday, hands down. since i was curious about the history, i looked it up:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween
All those close to Jenny would just smile and nod when she started introducing her imaginary writing partner, "Bob". Publisher deadlines always made her go a little mad ...
Or maybe ... Bob the Ghost of Conventions Past tried in vain to manifest himself corporeally, but the ladies would just go "ewwww" and ignor him.
Sorry, couldn't resist ... ;p
— Bonz
ok, this is a random observation but no one else seems to be here (and i now saw the time so i get why). but anyways, the observation:
on this blog, it gives the date and time of each comment posted; on Jenny's other two blogs it just gives the time. anyone know why that is?
hey, i didn't say it was an interesting observation. if you must know, i'm procrastinating an essay.
ok, ok, i'm starting it, sheesh.
welcome bonz.
It just keep hearing that sound they use is cartoons...
idyeaidyeaidyeaidyea
You know?
OH: A person can set the timestamp up to read what they want on their blog.
Hi all!
kyqdk: Killed yesterday. Quiet. Deadly. Kill.
I don't need no freakin' Glock.
rg
Beer truck? Did someone say they saw a beer truck?
Looks like a new definition for shitfaced to me.
I noticed rg's time on her comment says 26/10/06 at 2:46am ( what the? why aren't ya'll asleep?) But here in Oz it's now 5:59pm on the same day. It'll be interesing to see what my time says when I post this.
No we dont really celebrate Halloween here. Some people do but its more a fringe thing and an excuse for the shops to sell ghoul costumes. Nothing like it is in the US.
Okay it said 4.05 am and it's now 6pm so....
I dont know actually, what was the point with this? Other thannyou guys are up very very( picture Elmer Fudd) early....very dedicated to the blog.
rdjkcl - really dear jenny, keep cherries laughing
Halloween is actually two holidays--Samhain, the ancient Celtic New Year, and the eve of All Saints' Day (Nov 1st, followed by All Souls'Day on Nov. 2nd, in the Roman Catholic Calendar of Holy Days. Traditionally the Celtic New Year was the time that the barrier between the worlds of the living and the dead was thinned out and one could greet the departed (and also see visions of who would die in the coming year); and this probably gave rise to the belief that evil spirits were able to get loose on the eve of All Saints.
So the holiday is probably celebrated in countries with a Celtic or Catholic tradition, but not, for example, in places like Zaire or Egypt.
rgjkob -- Really great! Jenny KO's Bob!
I have seen an immense growth in the 'celebration' of Hallowe'en in the UK over the last 30 years or so, as a direct result of American cultural influence.
Although the feast was sometimes just about acknowledged in my childhood (the usual thing was a children's party), it was very low-key indeed, and utterly subordinate to the great excitement of Guy Fawkes' Night (November 5) which was the big pre-Christmas celebration, with bonfires and fireworks. Though the historical excuse for Guy Fawkes goes back only to the beginning of the 17th century (1604), there is no doubt that it took on the mantle of the ancient midwinter light-festival that in some other countries is still celebrated on an appropriate Saint's Day (Lucy? December 13th - I think. Sorry - can't look this up to check while actually writing this).
Anyway, we are infested by Hallowe'en nonsense now, AND we still have Guy Fawkes, AND people start letting off the fireworks weeks in advance of Nov.5, all of which is Over The Top, in my view, as a grumpy old woman.
Time-zones: UK is 5 hours ahead of /later than US Eastern, 8 hours ahead of Pacific. Blips and confusions are sometimes caused by some areas having a one-hour-forward Daylight Saving /Summertime time, others not, and in any case changing from one to the other at different times. We are still on Summertime here, so we are currently GMT + 1 hour, and it is 11.50 am in London as I write this. Posting is pretty instantaneous wherever one is.
How about:
Maneuver to Dislodge Excess Tree Parts
Keeping Up with Jenny & Susan’s Rapid-Fire Witty Banter
Ever Have One of Those Days When No One’s Got Your Back?
Tal: I knew about the thinning barrier between living and dead, and escape of souls thing, but this is the first I've heard about seeing visions of those who would die. Interesting.
Tigress wrote: Though the historical excuse for Guy Fawkes goes back only to the beginning of the 17th century (1604)
I've heard of this holiday, but what does it signify/represent? And why fireworks?
bw
Jenny: "No really, Bob's not a figment of my imagination or a ghost writer... he's right here. You do see him, don't you? I mean really..."
captions:
which way did he go?
Is there pea soup involved in this? Looks so Exorcist to me...
Bobblehead Bob. HA!
rsbiy Robert speeds by, inexhaustible, y'all!
"Bobblehead Bob" LOL, loving that one!
Well, it's sure an effective way to NOT have your picture taken. I will keep it in mind. Good thing his name tag/tent/sign is there for identification.
You know....we can make an actual Bobblehead Bob...
http://www.headbobble.com/
Oops, I got the date wrong - not 1604 but 1605. I do have difficulty with these recent dates... If you Google on 'Guy Fawkes' and 'Gunpowder Plot' on UK sites, you'll get masses of hits.
Here is an interesting summary of the Gunpowder Plot, with attention paid to the sheer oddity of it all:
http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/gunpowder_plot_of_1605.htm
The bonfires include burning a 'guy' - a scarecrow-like effigy of Guy Fawkes - to rejoice over the deliverance of Parliament from the dastardly Catholic plot.
Hmmm. There have been many times in my own lifetime when I have felt that a Guy Fawkes de nos jours would be rather welcome.
Maybe he's scanning the room for CherryBomb stalkers...
Well, wouldn't you?
Poor Bob. Now comes the final indignity: a bobblehead doll. That's too "not nice" even for me. At least give him a camo outfit.
bw
CAFFIENE!!!
Um, Bob? I think the black M&Ms are officially ... Moot.
On timezones: here in the lovely land of Indiana, after years of holding out, we have recently gotten on the wagon for Daylight Savings Time. (We did not have to change our clocks before, which was really kinda nice.) Years were spent debating on whether or not we should go Eastern or Central. Really, you would not believe the hub-bub. You would have thought dogs and cats were living together or something. So it passed and we now have three (or is it two?) time zones within the state because no one can agree on anything. My aunts in the northern part of the state are on the same time as my parents in Tennessee, but are an hour behind me. The only good thing I see is that we will get to celebrate New Years with New York instead of some lame little local station.
And it is still going to be dark when I go to work and dark when I come home, so I am really glad they spent how much money debating this?
Random quote: Sooner or later, everyone goes to the zoo. (Sloane, in Ferris Bueller's Day Off)
fiuhh: my thoughts exactly
BCB: that make-your-own Bobblehead site I linked to above has a cammo bobblehead! we can do it!
ccksn: not touching this one. children might be reading.
"Jenny Dang's the Weaver". (Irish reel).
Ahhh. History, religion, persecution, explosives, torture, violent death and conspiracy -- all before I've ingested my quota of caffeine for the day. I do have a vague memory of learning this at some point.
"My mind lets go a thousand things,
from dates of wars to deaths of kings."
--unknown (at least by me)
Thanks Tigress, knew I could count on you to add some perspective to my day. [grin]
Off to work now with a new spring in my step. If not my neck.
(ME: Umm, I was trying to suggest that we NOT do that. Poor Bob.)
bw
bcb: i know. I would never actually do it. But i am making myself laugh just thinking about it.
I never said I was nice.
dudex: Jenny's new man, who shall remain nameless.
bon cheri bomb said...
Maybe he's scanning the room for CherryBomb stalkers...
That's it!
AgTigress said...
Oops, I got the date wrong - not 1604 but 1605.
Well shame shame on you. What if there had been a pop quiz?
talpianna said...
Halloween is actually two holidays--Samhain, the ancient Celtic New Year, and the eve of All Saints' Day
Its so good to have you back. I feel smarter already. Actually I did sort of know this stuff.
Btuda - so do you officially start this year? If so, its coming up this weekend. Fall back one hour between Sat. and Sun.
Got a call from my sister yesterday. My 9yo nephew's school was raising money for the heart fund by getting pledges for laps the kids run around the school track. The kid who did the most laps was allowed to dye his hair purple. So of course I pledged money, being a good aunt, and so did my parents ... and wouldn't you know it that little stinker ran 33 laps? And yes he got to dye his hair.
G-G - need a running partner?
That's the best example of effective camouflage I've ever seen. Bob blends in so completely with his surroundings that I can see the chair in back of him that should have been hidden by his head.
I dub thee DGAM -- Disappearing God Among Men.
imiogf: Interestingly, Mayer images often greatly fade.
Photo of Bob's reaction during the following conversation:
Susan: ....But doesn't that take alot of power?
Jenny: That's ok, I hook it up to a truck battery.
Susan: Wow, even more than a car battery?
Jenny: Yeah. But it does so many things: it stands up, has 5 arms, a shower function, a laser light show, and even a microwave if I want to warm something up afterwards.
Susan: That's amazing. I wish my vibrator did all that.
"Old habits die hard. I keep telling him, when you're trying to sell a book, it's OK if you're recognized."
new caption:
"Winken, Blinken, and Nod."
Isn't Bob supposed to be the one who sits still until he kills someone??
Yeah DUG, I was up late, but not quite that late. I think the timer for the blog is set as East coast time (three hours ahead of California.) I remember I was tired when I visited (after comparing two sets of by-laws) and my comment was supposed to be:
*snap* I don't need no freaken' glock.
I was so tired I forgot the snap. *grin*
rg
mary stella: *snort!* I love the DGAM, although I strongly suspect this is photographic evidence of what many of us have only suspected: sometimes even GAMs disappear when we are looking for them.
mcb: yep, we get to fall back with everyone else after springing forward with everyone else. The only really bad unforeseen event no one thought of was that when school started, it was still daylight until 10:00 PM. Try explaining that to the kids.
DSS story: Last weekend I was explaining the whole fall back/time change thing. He was all for the extra hour of sleep, but he couldn't figure out how you knew what time it was. Like everyone got a phonecall and was told, "It is now 3:57PM. Please change you clocks." Nevermind it was originally 10:57 AM. If you weren't home, you were out of luck.
Captions: Watch what happens when I poke him with my finger.
Did you know Bob does a dead-on Woody Woodpecker impersonation?
ihpzges: I-pods hate polkas zipping gaily electronically - stop!
ezumgeck: Easily zipping under mighty gaze (of) Easy-share camera kwietly.
1) FABULOUS photo, thank you OH so much.
2) It's as I've long suspected, Bob's head is comprised of nano-particles.
3) or is it merely a matter of Scattered thoughts? Living many dreams at once?
4) Bob, GAM, compose yourself.
Bob gathers no moss.
And what is in front of Bob anyway? It looks like a cell phone, a screwdriver and keys.
Just curious about the screwdriver.
Do you believe in Bob. Clap your hands if you believe. If you clap loud enough he'll live!
OMIGAWD I have been ROTFLMAO over the captions. What genius!
I agree with Bonnie, he looks like the definition of 'Ghost Writer'. Very Halloweeny. I think, since Bob is a GAM that I'll call this ...
Susan, The Jenny, and The Holy Ghost
Hiya Anne! Welcome to the insanity.
In Texas where I did my stint in grad school the anth department always set up a table for the All Soul's Day on Nov 1st. We had a little cake adn punch and tamale party and looked at the stuff on the table. You would bring pictures of a deceased loved one or two and a few of the things they would like (such as candies or symbolic objects of a something they liked) and put it on the table. All Soul's Day was supposed to allow the veil between Here and There thin enough so the departed could see that they were remembered and still loved. I think that's sweet myownself.
Tweety can now do itsy bitsy spider by herself. We are looking a college scholarships because to us (duh) this is a sign of genius. :0) We are so loopy over this kid!
Thank you everyone. I hit the ground running this morning and when I finally got the project out the door, there you were with all these great captions. Just the break I needed.
I wonder how Bob would caption this?
Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!
Hello to the new CBs.
Caption: "And for our next collaboration, we're considering a paranormal."
BCB - Chasing the Ghost was my first thought upon viewing also.
Happy day all!
New photo caption: "Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?"
mcb asks: G-G - need a running partner?
I assure you the little fellow is FAR faster than I am, but because CMS asked earlier in the week I went running again today and ran more than I usually do: 35 minutes compared to my usual 20 or 25 (which is done in intervals, I cannot run more than 20 minutes straight yet and I can only do that once on any given day). It's partly down to CMS's encouragement and partly because of our lovely weather. It's much easier to get out there when it's in the mid-60s and sunny (even if the Santa Ana winds are kicking up today).
And now, because you are all so imaginative, I will ask for assistance. Yes, former costume designer, asking for costume assistance.
I am Not a Halloween type of gal. I was a costume designer, I dress up other people, I don't dress up myself. That said, both this Sunday and next Wednesday I have Halloween-costumes-if-you-like milongas (tango dances). My requirements are: not much in the way of preparation/expense/shopping, must be easy to move in (I generally wear sleeveless tops to dance in because sleeves are too warm, especially if the weather is nice), and not too outrageous, because really I just don't like dressing up or calling that much attention to myself.
I am considering just dressing all in brown and, with my brown hair and eyes, putting a tag on myself that says "85% cacao". Another option is a 30s-ish dress, cloche and white gloves (which I'll no doubt eventually take off because they'll be too warm).
Other notions? Not that I necessarily will dress up, but if someone comes up with something good and easy, I'll at least think about doing so.
G-G Funny you should ask...last night I dreamt that you put on this sexy bronze pair of tango shoes, shrunk down to pixie size and jazzed, tapped and tangoed your way across Jenny, MCB, Scope and myself. I have to say those shoes not only kicked a**, they tickled. And then you soaked Jenny's feet in ice water and compared foot abuse stories with her. In the end, she upgraded to a better room in the hotel, MCB raced off to work and the rest of us went out for dessert and shoe shopping. Strange dreams indeed.
So I say, haul out the bronze dancing shoes and go as a pixie. : )
Now I must go do today's situps as your adherence to running has shamed me again.
CMS Definitely strange dreams. But those are the most fun.
G-G: I'm thinking a flapper costume! Can't get much more simple than those straight sheaths they wore, and a band with a feather for your hair and maybe a long string of beads.
***BUSINESS***
So what with one thing and another it took a while for me to get to both the p.o. box and the bank. And I'll check the box again in a day or so but I wanted to let everyone know where we stand now.
Zaza has been reimbursed for the web package; I have been reimbursed for the po box rental covering 6 months; and we have ... drum roll please .....
TA DA!! $76.68 left to put towards future expenses. We will hold this in reserve for future expenses as Zaza indicates they are necessary. But it does give us a nice cushion for the future, I think.
mcb: I love flapper styles, but although I have a 20s aesthetic, I have a 50s body. No way these curves are going to go into a flapper dress. Sigh.
CMS: I *wish* I had bronze tango shoes! Woohoo! Maybe next time my friend goes to Buenos Aires bronze will be among the shoes he purchases on my behalf. A girl can dream... Oh, wait. Dreams are what got us into this mess in the first place! :)
"Bob keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping, into the future."
“All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man, Bob Mayer, in his time plays many parts.”
gg- Target, teeshirts that say, "This is my costume." Slim legged slacks the same color as the teeshirt (belt the teeshirt if you want). Hair up, tango shoes on. Easy, simple. Have fun!!
"I miss Jen and her typos and her crazy energy," BCB pouted in her best whining voice.
I think she gets back in town sometime around 0-dark-thirty tomorrow morning and then leaves again Saturday before dawn for a wild weekend of hockey. Hope she can, ahem, spare a minute to check in between stops.
[sigh]
Place just isn't the same without her.
[pout]
bw
BCB: really liked that quote ("My mind lets go a thousand things, from dates of wars to deaths of kings.") and yes, i miss JJ too.
MCB: tell nephew congrats on hair.
heather: LMAO.
deb: i am singing now.
g-g: you can do what i'm doing for a costume. i'm the night sky. i had my mom send me my really nice black cloak that fully covers me and i'm attaching stars and a half-moon to it (cut out from cardboard and painted shiny silver). i also have a black mask i will wear. if you have the cloak, it's cheap, easy, and inventive. :)
GP: any news on DD?
OH: you're a quite brilliant girl, you know. Maybe not a cloak (as cumbersome to dance in), but a black or blue top and trousers and some embellishments. Hm. Or light blue with a big yellow sun. Or...
Hm. Must go think upon the new concepts OH has sprouted in my brain--a new world of ideas, it has opened up before me! I will contemplate while I re-paint my toenails. It's time for a new color.
I was a bat for Halloween when I was in 6th grade. I think that was my favorite costume ever. I wore black and my mother made me bat wings.
Well, that and I went as the evil chicken/penguin in Wallace and Grommit to a party one year. I wore black trousers, a black cardigan and a white t-shirt and made myself a crest out of red fabric and pillow stuffing and an orange flet beak (note: do not wear felt on face, it itches). That was entertaining for those who were familiar with the lovely W&G and totally confusing for those who weren't. :)
I begin to feel less depressed about having to dress up now.
Ahem. That would be FELT beak. Oy.
Are those chocolates?
G-G thanks for clarifying. I couldn't decide if it was a flat beak or a felt beak.
Fav costume ... but not mine. Little bitty kid comes around with mom, maybe 3 or 4yo. Purple tights and leotard with purple baloon grapes sewn all over the leotard. Cutest thing I've ever seen.
Caption/ Cartoon balloons -
Wile E. Coyote: There is no 'off' on the genius switch.
Coyote: Beep, Beep
Anyway, it looks like had fun:)
steph in VA
Jenny informed us on Monday... The end is near. I'm thinking Wednesday, Thursday at the latest.
Do you realize what this means? AATHM may, even as we speak, be finished! I'm not starting my Snoopy dance until I get word for sure, but I'm clearing some space on the floor!
oixtc: Omnipotent iguanas eXplain The Cherry.
I wonder whether that might have been a veiled threat aimed at Bob, whose four-day writers' retreat started today. Think he filled those last two slots?
bw
jiaon: jenny is agitated over nothing
MCB: had a friend in fourth grade who did that. i kept pretending to eat the grapes off her. she was not happy.
my best costume was definitely fourth grade, when i was a toilet. yes, you read that right, a toilet. my mom and i created this thing- one cardboard box with an actual toilet seat and a whole for my head to go through, which sat on my shoulders, and then another cardboard box at my back, on top of which sat little figurines and toilet paper, and it also had a flusher on the side. the thing weighed fifty pounds, but it was great. got a lot of extra candy that year.
Halloween is my favorite holiday, if you couldn't tell. :)
ahem, that's "hole", not "whole".
whoops.
I was living in Indiana when they first went off DST--I think at first it was just the Indianapolis/Ft. Ben Harrison (where I was) area. I guess this leaves Arizona as the only state that doesn't go on DST now.
G-G: What about a bright red dress, white mask-like makeup, bright red lipstick, and vampire fangs (available in the costume department of any grocery or drugstore)? Very little effort required.
If you decide to go as the night sky (or you can call yourself the Egyptian goddess Nut), you can get shiny stick-on stars, I think.
cntdqor -- A swear word in Jen/Regis's native Ionian.
Just checked thru the JCF mail...looks as if our Jenny is planning a children's book in the near future....
More books to read!
iaeeqqa...blue
just sing along with it!
GG: A Dragletail, as in I'm so tired I'm plumb dragletailed. Any clothes will do, grubby is best. The dragletail is attached to the belt in the back with a big tacky safety pin. The dragletail itself is made up of partially shredded old strips of cloth. Braiding is optional.
A toilet? Quite a visual on dancing as a toilet. Must avoid drunk guys with full bladders.
DD#1 will be having surgery. It's looking pretty good. Thanks to all for giving info and concern when I yelled for help.
AgT: Had to do a retraction on your date? Ah, well. You know you just hit the wrong key again. I'm wondering if QE1's death the previous year influenced the climate for triggering the Guy F event.
pvrrxh: Pansies & Violets Really Reach eXtreme Hardiness.
Does everybody remember that the "Santa Baby" anthology with Jenny's novella "Hot Toy" comes out in less than a week.
Don't forget to get your orders in now!
Where is everybody tonight? Am I to languish here alone and palely loitering?
Suddenly a squad car pulls up and two policemen get out
Policeman #1: Now then, what's all this?
Policeman #2: Loitering on a public blog?
Mary: "Alone and palely..." um, it's a quotation
Policeman #2: Now look, miss, we don't care nothin' about your social status, complexion or poetical inclinations. Loitering is a public crime, for Bawb's sake. What did you think you were doing?
Mary [mumbling]: Well, Keats--
Policeman #1: Now look miss, we don't know nothing about no Keats. What are Keats, anyway?
Policeman #2: Let's take her down to the station and question her. Bound to be something she's guilty of.
Mary: What, that trouble with not paying the fee at Haleakala park? There wasn't any way to give them my money, honest! I tried!
Policeman #1: Roight! That does it, miss. [Snaps the handcuffs around our heroine's dainty, delicate, yet verily lithe and nubile wrists.] You're coming along with us.
... help? Anyone? Anyone?
McB: We might have to break into that money sooner than you were expecting.
Uh, Mary, hang in there...
Took another look at the photo. It is really so cool ...
Jenny:
Finger's on the remote. He's talking ... again. Don't look. Keep smiling. You can do this girl, just zap him ... go on, press the button.
rg
wqwtrnm
women quote well the Robertism's newly mentioned
bon cheri bomb said...
Whatever Happened to Movement Draws Fire?
Delta Force Stealth in Action
Heather... LMAO!!
orangehands said...
Bobblehead. *still laughing* i vote for Bobblehead Bob.
*can't stop giggling*
So manny of the suggestions are absolutely classic... Remember Bob, we are not laughing at you... we are laughing with you!
Oh dear.
Um, Lori, sending MCB to rescue Mary from men in uniforms might not be the best idea you've ever had.
Not to mention it's a really long drive from DC to the west coast. Crossing state lines and encountering welcome centers that, frankly, would be better avoided. Lots of potential for... well, potential.
Just saying.
bw
pfzfijxz: yes, exactly
BCB: Er, right. McB + travel + men in uniform = disaster
but what about Mary?
I don't know bcb,mcb managed to get to New Jersey. Oh right, and then she got us kicked out of the bar by men in uniform. Tried to blame it on the Canadians, or was that dee? Can't remember.
Lori'sright. We need to bail Maryout. Can't have a CB rotting in jail when we have all this wealth. /,D
P Phrase
"Personally I was born in very sorry circumstances. My mother was sorrry and my father was sorry as well." Norman Wisdom.
red viuojgu
Virtuously, ideally, uniformly our Jenny guides us.
blue didhfv
Decently informed, Doherty has flushed victims.
Police Sgt....What's she in fer?
Policeman #2...Loitering on a public Blog...very serious.
Policeman #1...Yeah, she was
Police Sgt...What's 'er name?
Mary....Mary, Sir
Police Sgt....Let look up her record.....hmmmm...escorted from a bar in NJ.....Chasing after Tongans in Hawayah....there's several driving things here in Ohio...looks like a hardened criminal.
Mary...I can explain...its the Cherrybombs fault.
Police Sgt....who's the cherrybombs? Have we got a gang with bombs here? Call the FBI...call the CIA....Call the Prez...
and so on, and so on....
tehdum...green
jail cell door closing on Mary!
Call the Californians, they're three hours behind, they're still awake and .. um... alert. Stop snoring OH, there's work to be done. We need a posse.
Get the Aussie's on board they're days ahead. Duuuug, Errrrrica, new girl, what's your name, oh dang I know there's someone new cause I meant to wave and then I forgot and now I feel awful and I scrolled up and I can't find you and oh, forget it.
G-G aren't you a Californian. Are you still up? We have work to do. Calling all Hawaiiians, Tahitians, Fijians, Australians, yeah ... they'll be up and fresh and willing to embrace the day whilst we slumber ... well, at least the Aussies are 18 hours ahead. Confuse those cops. Let's get Mary out... now... don't hesitate. Oh shoot ... it's eleven thirty p.m., um, got to go ... beauty sleep and all ... you know we west coasters, it's well ... it's all about looks ahem, um restful appearances and ... oh hell, I'm going to bed. Sorry Mary. Hope the food is good, the latrine clean, and that the toilet roll hasn't been rolling around on the floor. And watch that strange woman in the corner. Who me? ... nah, I didn't say nuthin.
rg
I can bake a shiv into a cake and mail it to a west coast CB to get to Mary.
How this helps...I'm not sure, but it seems to be the thing to do in these situations.
WARNING: Do not eat the cake. Food made by me is far more dangerous than any shiv!
i gotcha mary!
she stands there, dressed in black, with a stylish slash of dark blue. she moves as the expert GAM has taught her, quietly, shovel in her back pocket (insurance) and book in the other. she enters the police station, head held high, a walk that suggests she owns the place. she quickly finds the Police Srgt. among the cops.
"hello, guv," she says (because this is what you say in these kind of circumstances, if only her accent was better). she tosses her hair and points her fierce brown eyes on the Srgt. "you have a woman named Mary [just Mary, like Cher or Madonna]. i need her back."
the Srgt glances at this obviously young woman, probably fresh out of high school. "oh, and who the **** are you" [edited for the young or faint-hearted]
she places the book in his hands. he glances down, jaw going slack, eyes glazing. "wh-wh-what's this supposed to mean."
the woman taps her finger to the author names proudly displayed in bright colors. "i work for them, as does mary. now, can you please get her?"
the Srgt. jerks his head to the clueless policemen, who- seeing the look on their Srgt's face- carefully bring the woman known as Mary out of her holding cell.
Mary looks at the woman and a small, secret smile plays around her mouth. they walk out of the police station, sharing one glance before disappearing into the night.
the two cops glance over at their boss, who is still looking shakingly down at the book.
policeman 1: "what is it?"
the Srgt. is silent for so long they think he's forgotten the question. finally, he looks them over, measuring. taking a deep breath, he tells them.
"they belong to the GAM and The Cherry. you want to try to keep them into jail?"
both men shudder. that was too close to an edge they wouldn't have been able to recover from.
chaos, in its purest form.
so someone can go turn off the Moot signal. MCB, leave those other cops alone, they weren't part of this. come on, let go, you can catch some more later.
louis: Jenny is planning a children's book? *snort* i remember the last one. i cannot wait.
GP: so glad DD is doing ok.
djr: i am counting seconds here, seconds!
scope dope: i like the P phrase. :)
Whew! OH, you're the best. Next time you need someone to watch your back while you run amok, lemme know. Even if you just want to walk amok instead. Oi vey Maria, the jails 'round these parts. Not a single decent book in the prison library. No Bob, no Jenny, no Keats, Rilke, or Borges. Sheesh. I thought of writing a book, á là Bunyan, but no laptops either.
Thank heavens for an inventive insomniac Californian CB ;)
And I did try to explain the incidents... um, that is, episodes of CherryBombs and Men In Uniform, but for some reason that seemed to make the situation worse:
"It was McB's fault! No wait, it was Bryan's thong's fault. Or better still, Talpianna. She started that fire. Well her associates did. Yes, honestly, officer. See, here's her picture. Why yes, she is of the mole persuasion, but surely that doesn't mean ... breathalyzer? Why do I need one of those?"
I wrote a MUCH better rescue, but Blogger went down just as I posted it. Here it is anyway:
[Scene: A Police Station. A squad of smartly uniformed MOLE RANGERS marches in, wheels, and stands in formation before the booking sergeant's desk. The SERGEANT-MAJOR blows a shrill blast on his whistle.]
POLICE SERGEANT: leaning over desk Hi, little guys! What can I do for you?
SERGEANT-MAJOR: We've come for the prisoner.
POLICE SERGEANT: Which one?
SERGEANT-MAJOR: The malefactor known as Mary, whom you are holding on a charge of palely loitering in the second degree. She's wanted by Homeland Security for felony insectivore impersonation under the alias of Mole Esther. We have a warrant. [Flashes warrant in front of POLICE SERGEANT too quickly for him to notice that it is actually signed by Talpianna.
MARY is brought out in chains and leg irons. The MOLE RANGERS form up around her, wheel, and march out in formation.]
SERGEANT-MAJOR: Now, my dear, let's get those nasty restrains off you. My, what nubile wrists you have! Are you seeing anyoneat present?
vcnoonp --Virtual canapes? Nice! Onions or noodle pudding?
Tal wrote: I wrote a MUCH better rescue, but Blogger went down just as I posted it.
You know, Blogger has been doing that to a lot of us lately, and yet we all seem to be strangely dissatisfied with the performance. Picky, picky.
I'm glad you all were so industrious while I was undercovers. Mary, so happy to have you back, safe and-- well, safe.
Thank Bob it's Friday!
Hey Jenny, book done yet?
bw
imdoti: I am not!
Lori said...
but what about Mary?
Millie Criswell, right?
Mary, Mary, Mary.
Really now, all you had to do was tell them you were a friend of BCB and I. They know us; they would have let you go just to avoid the hassle.
McB, I tried to tell them... couldn't find where I'd put those incriminating photos from NJ, and without evidence they wouldn't go for it. Huh.
Speaking of McB, well at least of the Scottish play itself, I just ran across an article on how schools are not only teaching their students "business speak" but also dumbing down Shakespeare so it won't be too overwhelming:
Take a few original lines from Macbeth:
Is this a dagger which I see before me,
the handle toward my hand?
Compare them to the guide version:
Oooh! Would you look at that.
We will soon be at a loss for words
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/global/main.jhtml?xml=/global/2006/10/24/bohumph24.xml&page=5
Let's try that link again:
Is this a working hyperlink I see before me?
Mary - sad isn't it? Dumbing down Shakespeare defeats the point, which is the genius he had with words. I remember 7th grade English and my introduction to Shakespeare. We had this great teacher who managed to get even the class clown engaged and enthusiastic.
McB, I'm glad you had a good introduction to Shakespeare. That sounds like a wonderful experience!
I know people have been dumbing down the Bard for centuries (e.g. Lamb's Tales from Shakespeare), but for sheer banality of attempt, "Oooh, would you look at that" has got to rank pretty highly. Lowly. Certainly rank, at any rate.
Except for the fact that the reviser was apparently serious, it reminds me of Terry Pratchett's parody of the scene in Wyrd Sisters:
King: Is this a dagger I see before me?
1st assassin: No, it isn't.
2nd assassin: Of course it bloody is!
3rd assassin: Look behind you, Kingy!
On a more positive note, I just found Thurber's The MacBeth Murder Mystery online in its entirety. I love the way they "solve" the mystery of who actually did the murder. I mean, if you're going to tackle Shakespeare, at least have some fun while you're doing it.
The MacBeth Murder Mystery
Bob's head looks like how I feel after taking the red-eye home. Although, it's not really a red-eye. You fly for like 3 1/2 hours from Vegas to Atlanta, then a 2 hour lay over and then 2 hours to Buffalo, then an hour drive home. Okay, so my eyes are red, so it is the red-eye, but trust me, my head feels like Bob's look.
No. We did not get married again. And no, it wasn't just him. Those chapels are really cheezy and in the end, I just didn't want to get married over again like that. I guess I thought they would be different and I think I really could've talked him into it, but I was the one who decided it wasn't worth it. Besides, DH loves me anyway.
Short version of my trip - it was a flipping blast!
Okay, I must unpack just to pack to go to Ohio for a hockey tournament! Yikes, this shit never ends. Whose flipping dream am I living?
Oh Jen, we did miss you. Apparently the week away did nothing for your potty-mouth : )
Glad you had fun, sorry the chapels weren't as kitchy-fun as you had thought.
And as the the dream, remember, you're the one who wanted happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids who played sports! Tell 'em good luck for us...
vvdvv - Virgin Vixens Do Vex Villians
G-G: I perennially stink at thinking up imaginative costumes for myself. The only hit I truly scored was for an Ellora's Cave Fantasy party at RT. I dressed as an anti-fantasy -- a phone sex operator. Pulled on a sweatshirt, jeans, slippers and a telephone headset. Wore a badge that said "1-800-Call-4-Sex".
Very comfortable costume and I got a lot of laughs, which was the intent. *g*
If you want to be really out-there for your tango party, according to a lot of romantic suspense and Suz Brockmann books, Tango is another name for terrorist. Can you dance in camouflage pants?
xeqqou: X-cited, Edna quivered quickly, or undulated.
Mary - yeah, "Oooh, would you look at that" really doesn't have the same je ne sais quoi, does it?
I rather like the way Prachett plays with Shakespeare, though. He has fun with it without making fun of it. An affectionate spoofing.
Jen, you're back!!! Welcome!! We did miss you. Place is too darned quiet when you are not around. I think you made the right choice re renewing vows ... tacky can be fun, but cheesey is insulting.
G-G: I perennially stink at thinking up imaginative costumes for myself. The only hit I truly scored was for an Ellora's Cave Fantasy party at RT. I dressed as an anti-fantasy -- a phone sex operator.
Very funny Mary Stella.
I don't like the costume thing either, but I try. At the Aussie National a woman came as Carmen Miranda, with the requisite hat. Her hubby had velcro'd plastic fruit onto the hat, every time she bent over, plastic fruit rolled on the floor. We spent half the night picking up disobedient fruit and sticking it back on the hat. *grin*
Welcome back J-T, we missed you.
Enjoyed everyone's version of Mary's latest escapade.
rg
Are we missing some folks? Seems like we haven't heard from a few people for a while. Like Bryan and Margaret, Andi too I think.
Anyone heard anything from them?
Welcome back, Jen!
I think I have a defective Shakespeare gene. I have a hard time comprehending the words until I actually see the play, movie, etc. I didn't realize Much Ado About Nothing was even funny until I saw it. Now it's one of my favorites.
On costumes: my dad is the King of Bad Puns, so his costumes are usually groaners. Last year at work he dressed as Mr. Kotter from "Welcome Back Kotter." Picture a big black afro wig with a Kenny Rogers beard and a bad tie. This year I think I heard grumblings from my mom because he wants to dress up as a Chick Magnet - a black sweatsuit with little plastic chicks all over it.
One of my favorite costumes of all time was the snowman costume a friend wore to a high school party. It was cute, but completely ridiculous for the jaunt into the local cemetary. Nothing quite like standing next to a blinding white Frosty while trying to hide from who we thought were the cops. She had so much stuffing she couldn't hide behind trees or tombstones. Imagine an egg trying to hide behind a toothpick. ROTFL.
*sigh* Back to the WIP. I was going back over my opening scene and had an "oh crap" moment. Not only do I have a prologue (I know, I know), but it has two parts. And I strongly suspect the second part, though near and dear to my heart, is going to have to go the wayside since it takes place a full week after the first. Trust me, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guess that's why we call them "Works in Progress."
nfnrs: Naughty foam Nerfballs really stick.
I'm here, I'm here!!
I'm one of those who, when there's nothing to say, says nothing. I stay out of trouble that way. Sometimes.
Haven't seen Bryan, tho. Hope he's writing like mad!
Don't know where Andi is. Maybe Andi and Bryan...? Nah...
btuda said... I think I have a defective Shakespeare gene. I have a hard time comprehending the words until I actually see the play, movie, etc.
I think unless you hear the words the way they are supposed to be said it can be very difficult to 'get' it. Reading a play is tricky anyway, and with Shakespeare more so.
I loved Shakespeare. Took some classes in college (English major) and absolutely loved them. However, the first semester (yes, we had semesters back then) was a class that explained the language. Lots of help!
btuda - Jayne Ann Krentz has a book that has two prologues, the second several years after the first! It's been done... and the book sold!!
Just saying...
bhouqu
Bob's home on undulating quicksand - useless
I have a different defective Shakespeare gene. It takes half a play before I adjust to the iambic pentameter so I can understand a word they say. I'm also sitting there trying to picture men in the women's roles. And ya know, some of them are downright silly. "The Taming of the Shrew" anyone?
I love some operas and hate others. Love, love, love Gounod's "Faust." I kee