Thursday, December 28, 2006

HE WROTE: Happy New Year

Shane sat on a bar stool, in a shady nightclub on the wrong side of the tracks in a bad part of Savannah, Georgia, and tried to estimate how many people he was going to have to kill in the next hour. Optimally it would be one, but he had long ago learned that optimism did not apply to his profession. He felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket and pulled it out with his free hand expecting to see the GO or NO GO text message from Wilson, and about damn time. There were only three people who had his number, and they never called to chat. One of them was across the dance floor from him, which left two options. He glanced at the screen and was surprised to see JOEY. Jesus. First time ever and he calls in the middle of a job. Shane hesitated for a moment, then thought, Hell, you gave him the number for emergencies, and hit the ‘on’ button. “Uncle Joe?”

“Shane, you on a job?”

“Yes.”

“Where you at?”

“Savannah.”

“Good,” Joey said. “Close. I need you home.”

Shane frowned. Home? You send me away at ten and now you want me home? “What’s the problem?” he said, keeping his voice cold. Twenty-five years you wait to call, this damn well better be a real emergency.

“I got a little friend needs some help. She lives just outside Keyes in the old Two Rivers mansion. Remember it?”

Fucking Keyes. Armpit of the South.

“Come home and take care of my little Agnes, Shane.”

You adopt another kid, Joe? Gonna take better care of this one? “I’ll be there in an hour.”

“I appreciate it, Shane.” Joey hung up.

Shane pushed the off button. Joey needing help taking care of something. That was new. Old man must be getting really old. Calling him home. That was--

“I’m a Leo—and you?”

Shane turned to look at her. Long blonde hair. Bright smile plastered on her pretty face. Pink T-shirt stretched tight across her ample chest with the word Princess embroidered on it in shiny letters. Effective advertising, bad message.

“What’s your sign?” she said, coming closer.

“Taurus with a bad moon rising.” The hell with Joey. He had a job to do. He looked at the office upstairs.

Two men in long black leather coats and wraparound sunglasses appeared in front of the office door. They took barely visible flanking positions at the top of the metal stairs, just as they had the previous evening at approximately the same time, which meant the target was in-house.

At home, so to speak.

Fucking Joey, calling him home now, in the middle of a job.

“Do you come here often?” Princess asked, coming still closer, about three inches too close. He scooted back on his stool slightly.

“Never.” Except for the reconnaissance the previous evening. He looked up again. Too many people had seen The Matrix, he decided as he took in the bodyguards’ long jackets and shades.

The Matrix probably hadn’t even played in Keyes yet.

Princess came in closer, her breasts definitely inside his personal space. “What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a painter.”

That’s what Joey used to tell people. I’m a painter, he’d say.

Enough with Joey.

Shane glanced across the room. Carpenter was in place, his tall, solid figure near the emergency exit, the flashing lights reflecting off his shaved, ebony skull. I paint them, Carpenter cleans them. Shane nodded his head toward the guards ever so slightly. Carpenter nodded back.

“That’s cool.” Princess began to scan past Shane, probably looking for someone who’d play with her. She must found him because she smiled at Shane blankly and backed off. “Have a good one,” she said and was gone into the crowd.

The phone buzzed once more, and Shane glanced at the screen: GO. Finally. he secured the phone in his pocket, nodding once more at Carpenter, who nodded back and reached into one of his deep pockets. Princess was over by the bar now, dialing on her phone with a blank look on her face as she tossed her head to get the hair out of her eyes. Then she frowned and pulled the phone away, staring at it. Shane knew no one’s cell phone within two hundred feet would work as long as Carpenter kept the transmitter in his pocket working, jamming all frequencies.

He wove his way through the sweaty dancers to the bottom of the staircase and walked up, Carpenter falling in behind him. Both bodyguards stepped out, forming a human wall that he estimated weighed over four hundred and seventy pounds combined with another ten pounds or so of leather coat thrown in. Which meant they trumped him by over two hundred and seventy.

Fortunately two hundred and ten pounds with brains could usually beat four hundred and eighty pounds of dumb.

“Private office,” the one on the right growled.

Shane jabbed his right hand, middle three fingers extended, into the man’s voice box, then grabbed the face of the man on the left and applied pressure at just the right places with the fingertips of his left hand, thumb on one side, four fingers on the other. The man froze in the middle of reaching under his jacket, unable to move, while Carpenter caught the man to the right.

“Tell me the truth and live,” Shane whispered as he leaned close, ignoring the other guard’s desperate wheezing attempts to get air down his damaged throat as Carpenter took him back into the darkness of the landing. “Lie and die. Is Casey Dean here?”

“Uggh.” There was the slightest twitch of the head in the affirmative.

“Alone?”

“Uggh.” A twitch side to side.

Shit. “Left foot,” Shane said. “How many are in there? Tap your foot for the number.”

The foot hit the ground twice, then halted.

“Good boy.” Shane shifted his fingers slightly and pressed. The man dropped unconscious to the floor. Carpenter already had the other man down, sleeping with the leather. At least they’d be warm.

Shane reached inside their coats and retrieved their pistols. He placed one in his waistband in his back, and kept the other one out, safety off. He stepped over them as Carpenter reached down and grabbed the back of each man’s jacket and dragged them to a small janitor’s closet and tumbled them in. Then he turned and faced the stairway to make sure no one else came up. He wasn’t wearing leather.

Shane walked down the hallway to the bright red doorway with a prominent No Trespassing sign hung on it. He kicked it right at the lock, the wood splintered and he stepped in and to one side, eyes taking in the dimly lit scene, pistol up, sweeping the room in concert with his eyes in split-second pie slices.

Movement. Two people. A man. Seated behind a desk. A redhead standing on the other side, leaning forward, palms down on the desktop, her skimpy halter top hanging loose, exposing her breasts. Great, Shane thought. I had to hit at playtime.

Shane strode across the room as the man jumped up and the woman turned, looking surprised. The man was reaching for a jacket when Shane hit him with a cat paw fist strike to the solar plexus, making him thump back on the couch, gasping in pain and floundering, out of commission for a couple of minutes at least.

The redhead lunged at Shane, who sidestepped her claws, grabbed her from behind, and used her momentum to slam her against the desk, pinning her to it. He got one arm in a half-nelson around her neck and pressed the barrel of the gun against the back of her head. He could feel her tight ass pushing back against his groin, and she began to grind as she struggled against him, putting her arms flat out on the desktop and looking over her shoulder angrily. He shoved her shoulders down on the desk and saw a small tattoo of a compass on the small of her back, just above her jeans. Like somebody needs directions there, Shane thought.

She pressed back harder against him with her ass.

“Stop it,” he said.

“Oh come on,” she whispered. “You like it. Come on, we can work this out, you and me. I can--”

Shane pulled the gun back and tapped the barrel, lightly, against the back of her skull.

The girl cursed and rubbed her head. “What the fuck?”

“This is business and you are not part of it. Stay there.” Shane backed away, keeping the barrel aimed at her and when she didn’t move, he glanced at the man who was still gasping for air. Not a problem.

Then Shane reached inside his jacket and pulled out an airline ticket. He tossed the plane ticket on the desk in front of the woman. “You’ve got a problem, here’s the solution. A voucher you can use at the airport tonight. Enough for a one way ticket anywhere in the world.”

The redhead stared at him and then she began to fasten her halter top.

“You don’t ever want to come back to Savannah again,” he told her. “This man hangs with bad men, and they’re going to remember you were here and come looking for you.”

The girl was nodding, reaching for the ticket at the same time she tried to put her jacket on.

“You can go, but if you say anything to anyone on the way out, you will die.”

The girl was still nodding like a bimbo bobble-head doll, one arm in her jacket, the other with the ticket in hand. Shane kept one eye on her struggles as he focused his attention back on the man gasping on the couch. When she was ready and holding the ticket in one hand and her purse in the other, Shane pulled out his phone and hit the speed-dial for Carpenter. “You got one civilian coming out. Redhead. Let her go.”

There was a telling moment of silence. “A witness.”

“A civilian coming out,” Shane repeated.

“Roger,” Carpenter said.

Shane nodded to the redhead and she scuttled to the door and was gone.

Shane turned his attention back to the man. “Same deal for you, my friend.” He slapped another ticket voucher on the coffee table.

“Who—“ the man coughed and tried again as he managed to get to a sitting position. “Who—are--you?”

“Doesn’t matter who I am,” Shane said. “I’m gonna ask you some questions. Answer honestly, you take this ticket and go. Lie and die.”

The man’s face was shiny with pain and exertion, but he wasn’t giving up. “What—do—you—want?”

“You were hired to by the mob to kill someone the US Government would prefer stay alive.”

“Listen, we can make a deal—”

“I am making you a deal.” Christ, this was like talking to some jackass from Keyes.

“Well, I’d like to deal,” the man said. “But you got the wrong person here. I think you got me mixed up with somebody else--”

Shane hit him, an open-handed slap that was more insult than injury. “You’re wasting my time, Casey Dean,” he said, and the man flinched when he heard the name. “The people I work for do not make mistakes. Unlike you.”

“Really, I’m not—”

Shane reached out and jabbed his thumb into Dean’s shoulder, hitting a nerve junction, and the guy jumped as if struck by an electric shock. “Now here’s the deal. You tell me what I want to know and forget about the hit, fly away, and never come back, and it’s the same to me as if you were dead.”

Dean rubbed his shoulder, eyes darting about the room. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.” Shane slid the ticket voucher across the table.

Dean looked at Shane. “You’re really gonna let me go if I tell you what you want and forget about the contract?”

“No. I’m gonna let you go if you forget about the hit and give me the names and contact information of whoever hired you and the name of the target.”

Dean shook his head. “I can’t give the contractor up. He’ll kill me.”

Shane brought the gun level with the point right between the man’s eyes. “Which is worse? The possibility he might kill you in the future or the certainty I will kill you in the next ten seconds?”

“Shit.” Dean slumped, looking suddenly very old. “Listen, I’m just a business manager. A cut out. I’m not a—”

Shane pressed the muzzle of the gun hard against the man’s skin just above his nose.

Dean’s eyes turned inward, mesmerized by the barrel. “I’m telling you, I don’t know the contractor’s name. I just got a call that services were needed.”

“Who’s the target?”

“Didn’t get it yet. I swear.”

Great. Dean was an idiot, but there was a ring of truth in that.

“Listen, I’m cold. Can I get my jacket?”

Shane looked at him, almost pitying him in his stupidity. The dumb fuck has a plan. He pulled the gun back. “Sure.” His assignment was to take out Casey Dean, world class hitman, but if this guy was a world class hitman, Shane was Princess’s date to prom. Some guys were all PR, no game, and Casey Dean was sure as hell turning out to be one of them. Must have been born in Keyes.

When Dean had put on his jacket, he looked downright confident, his eyes sly as they went to the desk. “So I really don’t know anything, but I’m definitely leaving town, just like you said. Okay, if I get my passport from my desk drawer?”

Shane nodded. You bet. Commit suicide with my gun. That’s what I’m here for, pal.

The man turned his back and opened a desk drawer, and Shane brought his gun up.

Dean swung around, a small gun in his hand, and Shane fired two quick shots, both hitting him in the chest. Dean fell back, disappearing behind the desk.

Below, the music pounded, drowning out everything. Shane walked forward, gun at the ready and rolled the man over, surprised to find there was still a spark of life in his eyes. Not surprised to see his two shots were so tightly grouped they appeared to be one hole, but not happy to see them an inch off target.

Fucking Joey, making him lose focus. Fucking Keyes. Fucking little Agnes, too, whoever she was.

A funny look came over the man’s face as Shane aimed the gun at his forehead. His eyes blinked rapidly. “You’re wrong,” he gasped, playing the odds to the end. “We can make a deal.”

“Oh, come on,” Shane said. “You know who and what you are, Casey Dean. You lied. You’d have completed the contract because otherwise you’d never get another job.”

“No, you’re wrong--” the man began, and Shane fired, the round making a perfect black hole in the center of his forehead.

Mission accomplished.

Shane pulled out his cell phone and hit number 3 on the speed dial.

It was answered on the first ring: “Carpenter.”

“Painting’s done. You’ll have to help him on to the next world on your own, Reverend. I won’t be at debrief.”

There was a brief moment of silence. “Wilson won’t like that.”

“The target had no information on contractor or target.”

“Roger.”

Shane put the phone away.

Then he strode across the room toward the window, reached under his shirt, retrieved the heavy duty Kevlar snap link attached to the rear of his body armor, clipped it to a bolt holding a drain pipe, turned outward and jumped, the carefully coiled bungee cord snapping out until it jerked him to a halt three feet from the street and bounced him back up half the distance. As he went down the second time, Shane pulled the quick release and landed on all fours. Right next to his Defender SUV.

Keyes again.

Fuck.

46 Comments:

At 28/12/06 8:21 AM, Blogger Diane (TT) said...

Happy New Year to you, too, Bob!

Thanks so much for the scene - I loved Shane's interior commentary.

 
At 28/12/06 8:57 AM, Anonymous arkansascyndi said...

Loved the scene, Bob

 
At 28/12/06 9:26 AM, Blogger Jennifer Talty said...

Happy New Year!

Loved the scene. Really. Read it twice. Great characters in Shane and Agnes. It will be fun to see them on the page together. Can't wait to read the whole book. I think you two out did yourselves.

Hope everyone has a wonderful New Year. Stay safe and warm wherever you are.

 
At 28/12/06 9:44 AM, Blogger McB said...

OMB - this is so good. Bob this is really really good. Its going to make the wait for the whole book so very much harder!

Thank you!

 
At 28/12/06 10:02 AM, Blogger btuda said...

And suddenly I think I can make it through the day afterall.

Loved the scene. I can already tell the book is going to be my crack until I've read it 5 or 6 times.

Thanks for creating our little CB world and letting me in. Hope everyone has a great New Year!

 
At 28/12/06 10:45 AM, Anonymous wapakwoman said...

I was so excited to read it, yet a little sad. Because Bob posting means we really DO have to leave the basement.
Shane is awesome and I agree, the inner dialogues are GREAT.
Have a wonderful New Year and I will see everyone over at the CB B&G.
And sharpen my pencil for our lessons come January!

 
At 28/12/06 10:45 AM, Blogger marcia in ok said...

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Happy Birthday! and fireworks for the 4th of July for all us CBs.

These Book Excerpts are a WAY cool way to begin (and end).

Bob and Jenny, Jenny and Bob - you guys really are the best. Can't wait for AATHM. And the new blog.

What a ride you've both taken us on this past year. So glad we were along to LTD vicariously.

wcvmyl - Well, CherryBombs, very minimal yacking left (to do here).

 
At 28/12/06 11:56 AM, Blogger K.L. said...

We will be sure to put a nice large book shelf up over at the B&G, and fill it with AATHM, along with DLD, and a few solo books from some authors we know. So when new people come on in, they will have good reading material to enjoy.

Thanks for the way cool excerpt. Very good present Bob. Make sure to visit soon.

 
At 28/12/06 12:02 PM, Blogger Robena Grant said...

Agnes and Shane ... a match made in hel ... heaven. Wow! There's gonna' be some fireworks between those two. Can hardly wait. Good work you guys, it makes for an interesting read. I like how you've already given us a glimpse into Shane's life, Bob, humanizing him enough so we can begin to understand.

Thanks for letting us ride along behind the DLD bus. It was a fun year. Looking forward to the workshops.

A happy and healthy new year to all.

 
At 28/12/06 12:27 PM, Blogger rssasrb said...

Wow. Thanks. This is great. How many weeks til the release date?

Happy New Year everyone

 
At 28/12/06 12:28 PM, Blogger K.L. said...

http://bjwcreations.com/cbBarAndGrill/

For all of you who have not added the site to your favorites list yet. There it is. Please come on over and visit soon. The grand opening has not quite happened yet, but the doors are open and people are coming in out of the cold. Take a look.

 
At 28/12/06 1:31 PM, Anonymous Louis said...

Wow!...

That Shane...

That Agnes...

Can't wait until the frying pan hits the bullets!

Thanks Bob.

All the more reason to read the finished book...when is it out...July?

Happy New Year to all.

yxlia...red

you Xceed life's independent action

 
At 28/12/06 1:37 PM, Blogger Cary said...

Ooooh. Cool-as-a-cucumber, reluctant-painter Shane meets our Agnes of the anger-management issues and flying frying pan with napalm syrup. Will our copies of Agnes and the Hitman come with oven mits?

Thank you to the Cherry & the GAM. You've made this year something wonderful by sharing with us your wit, wisdom, and snark. And by opening your basement as a shelter for the all those poor readers, writers, and lurkers who became known as CherryBombs.

And now, to complete the CherryBombs 12 Steps to Recovery:

1. Get over it - Mom & Dad want the basement back. The attic too. Don't worry, they'll still let us come back for class.

2. Follow the directions to the CB Bar & Grill (http://bjwcreations.com/cbBarAndGrill/)

3. Come in and say hello. Snark welcomed; cookies and cocoa are on the table by the door. (If you're lucky, we might still have some of that eggnog left from BCB's holiday party.)

4. Oh, come on! What CherryBomb has the attention span for all 12 Steps? We've made it easy, so come and join us!

vevhp - "Very Excited! Very!" harped Penny.

 
At 28/12/06 1:43 PM, Anonymous Bryan said...

Yay... Princess lived.

Great scene Bob. Looking forward to next year.

 
At 28/12/06 2:19 PM, Blogger McB said...

Cary said ... (If you're lucky, we might still have some of that eggnog left from BCB's holiday party.)

Um, disclaimer required here I think. It wasn't so much BCB's party as a party at BCB's. So if you didn't get an invite, don't blame her. Blame yourself because Bob knows we dropped enough hints that you have no excuse for not showing upo.

zqmjpnmw (good grief) Zamboni's quickly make Jenny's party nifty, much wetter.

 
At 28/12/06 2:22 PM, Blogger me said...

Princess is back! And it seems not every bimbo ended up dressed in rewrite.
I love Shane. I love the fast pace, the details. I cannot wait for the book. I'm going to have to read this again. And again!

 
At 28/12/06 4:11 PM, Blogger Mary said...

McB caveatted thusly:
It wasn't so much BCB's party as a party at BCB's.

Well, she never told us we couldn't have a party at her place while she was away, did she? And our intentions, if nothing else, were pure: we came to decorate. And certainly we left our mark. (Still sorry about the carpet, btw.)

I can't believe I just verbed the word caveat. Get thee behind me, O Marketing Peoples!

 
At 28/12/06 4:28 PM, Blogger GatorPerson said...

That New Year's gift raised a bunch of questions. Was that really Casey Dean? Who was Princess calling? Shane? Is Shane working for the US gov't? And, most important of all, is Bob going to teach us that bungee cord trick as part of the writing course?

Thanks again, J&B, for a lovely cyberyear.

 
At 28/12/06 4:36 PM, Blogger Robena Grant said...

You know there's something I want to disclose to you J&B, and to all you Cherry Bombs right now, I've written a book called Gone Tropical, it's an Aussie story with an American H/H. It's currently in circulation, has had a contest win, has been requested by an agent and here's my problem, there are several things (ideas)that are similar to some in AATHM.

J&B's book will be published (mine might never be) but just in case, I want to go on record and say that this is so weird and there was not, could not have been, any plagiarism. This week was the first time, like all of you, that I read these exerpts, except for the small section of Princess in the bar which was several months ago, and then there was only the reference to the two bodyguards in their long leather coats no other description of taking the guy out etc. no rappelling down buildings.

In my first chapter I have a spoiled rich girl (a Daddy's girl) and a P.I. hero and a secondary character Sarge (just Sarge, who is based on my real life Aussie brother and that's what he's called and that character is undercover Aust. Fed Police) then there is the hero who rapels down the side of a Sydney hotel. All in the first chapter, just like in AATHM. *sigh*

I'm sick to my stomach reading this excerpt today because if mine ever gets published it will look like I plagiarized these ideas, even though my story was written a long time ago and is quite different.

I don't have any hitmen (I do have a smarmy antagonist bodygaurd who weilds a Glock but nobody gets shot, just a fight) and I don't have a chef/food critic, thank goodness.

I wasn't going to say anything, but I've wasted half a day procrastinating on whether or not I should. So please, if I am lucky enough to get a book contract for this story just know that I did not plagiarize from J&B. While my writing will never be as good as J&B's and I know you can never copyright an idea, I would never knowingly lift anyone elses.

 
At 28/12/06 4:52 PM, Anonymous gin said...

Robena: Not to worry. Similarities like that crop up everywhere in the literary world (and, apparently, the scientific world, although I have no experience there). Sort of a zeitgeist-synchronicity thing, where ideas are floating around the universe, and are picked up by assorted people simultaneously.

I've seen a lot of writers angst over this sort of thing, but you can also look at it as a positive thing. It's proof that you're capable of coming up with story elements that you know are commercially viable (since beloved published authors have similar -- not identical, remember -- elements).

Your story will be different in key ways, so don't fret unduly, and revel a bit in having ideas that are clearly of publishable quality.

 
At 28/12/06 7:03 PM, Blogger bon cheri bomb said...

Oh, wow, thank you! Ever since reading Agnes' scene, I had been hoping you guys would post this one, too. And what a fitting way to end the HWSW 2006 blog -- with a scene from each protagonist's POV. And thanks also to whoever at SMP allowed the sharing. Very generous.

Does anyone else feel like the writing classes have already started? First Jenny posts an except that gives a great example of deep POV, and now Bob posts one that gives us a glimpse into the editing/re-writing process. I loved comparing what I remember of the earlier version of this scene and seeing what was added; extremely educational and a rare thing to get a look at another writer's process. Thank you.

Can't wait to see how it all turns out.

RG: Geez, don't you remember last spring and all the books (I think there were approximately a thousand) that contained references to Wonder Woman, junk food, South Carolina and tying people up with assorted rope-like things? I'm still half-convinced it was an inside joke, but you know me and my conspiracy theories. [wink]

And I'm not quite sure how appropriate it is that my blog ended up in a 12 step recovery program -- I guess if you all are suffering from a severe lack of pointless rambling, that would cure it. But apparently only if you are first fortified with strong drink.


I hope you all finish up this year safely. Best wishes to everyone for all good things in the New Year!

 
At 28/12/06 7:24 PM, Anonymous Bryan said...

BCB,

See, now I've gone back to compare the two excerpts and to try to discern the editorial meaning of the significant changes and now I'm reading Linda Goodman in order to try to figure out why he changed Princess from a Libra to a Leo.

Hopefully all will be explained in the writing course next year.

 
At 28/12/06 7:26 PM, Anonymous Bryan said...

And Shane's a Tauraus instead of Cancer... jeez.

 
At 28/12/06 7:41 PM, Blogger McB said...

Bryan, he also took out my favorite bit from the scene. The part where Princess says "Have a good one" and Shane says "one what?" or something like that.

But overall I do like this version better. Before the bit with Princess seemed pointless. But this version is tighter or something, and I think her bimbo-ness was a good foil for Shane's internal monologue. I didn't do a direct comparison but it feels better somehow.

I think Jenny said Princess was being given more of a role than before so the phone call might be significant.

This book comes out in August? How many ways can we dissect 2 scenes between now and then?

mmarxaei ... I got nothin'

 
At 28/12/06 7:44 PM, Anonymous Bryan said...

Didn't Bob say Princess would show up again later? Wouldn't it be something if she was the one who sent the "GO" order?

 
At 28/12/06 8:23 PM, Blogger Jennifer Talty said...

Something tells me that Princess isn't just a set of you know what in a tight pink T-Shirt. Although I'm sure she knows how to use what god gave her.

I went back and read the two scenes together, something tells me that we are all in for the ride of our life with this book.

So, with that...thanks Jenny and Bob. Can't wait to read it.

Have a safe and Happy New Year.

back to my whiteboards. I think I need a fourth one, or maybe just a bigger one.

 
At 28/12/06 8:59 PM, Blogger Robena Grant said...

Thanks, I was feeling so bad about this. I think I may have picked up some stuff by osmosis, (or just hanging around the blog too much.) Whatever, I'll have to live with it. And it doesn't really matter because Bob read the first fifteen pages of my story and said it was boring, nothing was happening, nobody got shot. *grin*

BCB, I'd forgotten all of those WW references in other books. Thanks for the reminder. And thanks Gin, yeah, synchronicity, I suppose it could happen.

And Bryan, Cancer is the crab, he's too family oriented, a water sign, kinda withdrawn at times not your usual hitman type. Taurus is the bull, he's earthy and can be guilty of a bad temper, he has a sensual nature, much better for a hitman. Leo for Princess is a surprise, she's smart, a leader, maybe she does have a bigger role in the story.

 
At 28/12/06 9:08 PM, Blogger Meretta said...

Thanks for sharing! I thoroughly enjoyed it.

 
At 28/12/06 9:43 PM, Blogger dee said...

ooh, and I spent all day writing myself and just found this!
Thanks J&B (still reminds me of a drink, of course!). This is the perfect way to start the new year.

 
At 29/12/06 2:11 AM, Blogger Scope Dope Cherrybomb said...

I too am a Taurus. I will have to think if I want to be aligned with Shane. It depends if Shane is a good hitman or a bad hitman. What colour is his hat? It sounds like it might be white. (For you youngsters that don't know, the good guys wear white hats in the movies and the bad guys wear black.)

Thank you for that scene Bob and Jenny. It just makes it harder to wait for the release date of AATHM but it was very good reading. Thank you.

I have a question. If we are having our New Year's Party here on this blog what happens to the blog at midnight, Dec. 31? Does it blow up, disappear into the ether or does just the basement blow up? Or can we party until 5 a.m. PST? Inquiring minds want to know.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year Everyone

fjbrhp Finally, Jenny & Bob, really happy people.

 
At 29/12/06 6:10 AM, Blogger orangehands said...

i love this. great, great stuff. and Princess will have a larger role. the woman knows something....

J&B: Again, you are wonderful, wonderful people and i am planning on learning even more from you than i have already. THANK YOU.

rg: no worries. we'll still read ya. :)

BTW: is Casey Dean the redhead or Princess? (well, it was worth a shot)

 
At 29/12/06 6:22 AM, Blogger orangehands said...

look what i just found in the depths of time: (july 4th)


"Shane's about to walk in on another well-built woman, this one naked, in the act of having sex with his target. He's going to have words with her, too. Did I mention she's naked and having sex? I think Bob's description of her was something like 'She made Princess look plain.'"

there's a change. she was just about to have sex. :)

 
At 29/12/06 9:16 AM, Blogger bon cheri bomb said...

Every time I read this part:


That’s what Joey used to tell people. I’m a painter, he’d say.

Enough with Joey.


I wonder: is that Shane's internal dialog or is that Jenny interjecting a little snark?

OH: Funny, I was thinking the same thing about Casey Dean.

 
At 29/12/06 9:39 AM, Blogger Jenny said...

Robena, nobody is going to think you're plagiarizing, those are very common things. Don't think twice about, we certainly wouldn't. Good luck with your book,
Jenny (and Bob, too, if he knew about it)

 
At 29/12/06 10:31 AM, Blogger McB said...

Well there you go RG. The word from on high. You can now officially stop worrying about it.

It would be interesting if Casey Dean turned out to be one of the two women. Princess is going to figure in there somewhere.

Wanted to say, too, that I like Joey. Clearly something is up with the collar Agnes put on Rhett and Joey knows about it. Joey has some kind of shady past but also a soft spot for Agnes. Remains to be seen what his relationship with Shane will be like but there seems to be some conflict there.

Do we really have to wait 8 months?

 
At 29/12/06 11:25 AM, Blogger Patrice said...

Bob, this was so unexpected, and I didn't get you anything!

We like you, we really really like you.

 
At 29/12/06 11:43 AM, Blogger Jennifer Talty said...

I really enjoy reading what everyone thinks is going to happen, who is who, or who knows what, and yet somehow, I think Jenny and Bob will manage to surprise and shock us all. Sigh, I'm not the most patient person...any chance on getting an advance copy? I know, that's like asking a lot. And it's not like you haven't given us a whole year, not to mention a little blood and sweat.

Okay, gotta get back to work. whiteboards are bleeding on to my spreadsheets which are over flowing on my pathetic excuse for a collage which is hiding my orginal idea, somewhere. My head hurts.

 
At 29/12/06 1:21 PM, Blogger b'gina said...

And the woman was Casey Dean???

mrmoo (green) I kid you not.
A load of bull? HAHAHAHA

 
At 29/12/06 3:36 PM, Anonymous Phyllis said...

Wow! Thanks to both of you :)

I'm really looking forward to this book. Could you please publish the whole thing online chapter by chapter? I promise I'll buy it anyway when it comes out! :)

Oh, and I'm a Taurus, too. I wouldn't be much of a hit-person.

And veeeeerrrry interesting theory that Casy Dean is one of the women. Hmmmmm.....

Phyllis

 
At 29/12/06 5:38 PM, Anonymous Kay T said...

Actually I read an article on Forbes about an author who always publishes his books online before, or at the same time (can't remember it THAT well) as the book is published in paper. His sales have been very good and perhaps enhanced by the online versions so his publishers think it is a great idea. Heh, heh, just saying, you know.

Thanks again.

 
At 29/12/06 6:00 PM, Blogger Robena Grant said...

Thanks for the support, Jenny. I do appreciate it.
In all honesty though, (if we're still accepting confessions) I did take Princess in when you so callously tossed her out into the street. I found her on her knees in a ditch, looking for lost sequins, bleeding and swearing, her shirt in tatters. I cleaned her up gave her a rich Daddy and a Louis Vuitton purse. I figured she'd never turn up in AATHM. Sorry, Bob.
Oh, and the purse is a motif and features in her character arc ... thanks to you guys ... yes, she has an arc.

 
At 29/12/06 11:10 PM, Anonymous Egads said...

Enjoyable read, thank you. Looking forward to the reading the rest of the book.

One thing that did jump out at me, "no one’s cell phone within two hundred feet would work as long as Carpenter kept the transmitter in his pocket working, jamming all frequencies."...so how does Shane call Carpenter to tell him a civilian is coming down? I assume Carpenter is jamming transmissions until the job is done and they can leave? I'm confused.

Happy New Year and good luck with the new blog, you two.

 
At 30/12/06 3:33 AM, Anonymous ZaZa said...

Shane is such a guy. Princess has got to be his comeuppance. Please. Pretty please.

 
At 30/12/06 5:25 PM, Blogger McB said...

Egads queried ... so how does Shane call Carpenter?

Good question. Bob?

 
At 1/1/07 1:15 AM, Anonymous ZaZa said...

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Oh, and they wore leather coats in The Matrix, not long jackets.


Optimally it would be one, but he had long ago learned that optimism did not apply
->Optimal and optimism don't have anything to do with one another. Now if you said, "With luck...luck did not apply"...


Finally. he secured the phone
->"he" should be capitalized.


He looked at the office upstairs.
Two men in long black leather coats...took barely visible flanking positions at the top of the metal stairs...Shane walked down the hallway to the bright red doorway...
->The office is upstairs and at the back, plus there are the two men standing at the top of the stairs, so he can't look at the office. He can look toward it, however.


A man. Seated behind a desk...making him thump back on the couch
->Unless there's a couch behind that desk...

 
At 13/5/07 9:56 AM, Anonymous RPB said...

Just bought 'Don't Look Down' yesterday and finished it this morning,and of course read on through the excerpt from AATHM...having a little difficulty with the interior dialogue of Agnes and the frying pan issue...if they really corralled (SP?) her into the Mental Health side of things (psychiatrist, anger management) I can't see her being so mildly defensive-she makes me nervous as being ?maybe unbalanced?

 

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