Friday, December 29, 2006

SHE WROTE: Memory Lane

We're looking back over the posts because at one time we were going to make them into a book. Remember that, way back in the beginning? Then the year overwhelmed us.

From: Bob Mayer
To: Jenny Crusie
the glorious lives of best-selling authors
sorta pathetic
but good

From: Jenny Crusie
To: Bob Mayer
Been reading the blog have you?
I am, too.
How did we survive?

From: Bob Mayer
To: Jenny Crusie
Fortitude

From: Jenny Crusie
To: Bob Mayer
Ignorance.
If we'd known, we'd have run screaming like babies.

From: Bob Mayer
To: Jenny Crusie
Nope.
I thrive on challenges

But I've been reading them again and you know, they just might make a book. Especially if we added some of the missing information, some even-more-behind-the-scenes info. Not all of it, we have some boundaries, but some of it was, in retrospect, pretty illuminating.

Like some of the fun things you missed. Remember when Bob fell in love with chocolate machine in Boston?
"The neatest thing so far on the tour has been this machine on the 7th floor of the hotel where you push this button and put this packet in and it makes hot chocolate. I am so addicted I think I broke it the first day making so many cups but they fixed it. Thank you SMP. I went up in the middle of Jenny's talk and made two cups and brought them back down. I got the hot chocolate jones. Also the machine is cool. You punch this button and the front slides open and you put this packet in, and it slides shut, then you push another and various lights blink and then it tells you the hot chocolate is done. Basically a gadget."
I got him that for his birthday. Broke down and gave it to him early as I recall. And he got me this amazing tapestry scarf and whenever I wear it, women cluster around and say, "Where did you GET that?" and I say, "Bob gave it to me," and I can see their eyes glaze over. He's a terrific writer, a dynamic teacher, he's funny, he's cute, AND he can pick out scarves. Then I say, "And he's been in a relationship for fifteen years." It's like throwing cold water on kittens, it's awful. But the scarf is amazing and he really did pick it out.

And the T-shirt. I cut it up with scissors in a hotel lobby in a white hot rage. That was bad. But he went off the rails a couple of times, too. We both had many minor transgressions. I think he lost the lizard socks. He seems definitely to have lost Moot. (Wait'll he gets a load of Flamingo Jill. It will be impossible to lose Flamingo Jill.) The worst of all was the time at the beginning of August that we ended the collaboration. You missed that part. We didn't want to traumatize you. I think it lasted about a week. That was a very bad week. Bad enough that we're pretty sure we don't want to go there again. Now we stick with time outs. Like "I'll talk to you again in ten years."

But we're already planning on the Living the Dream 2007 Tour, not that SMP has said they're touring us. Bob wants to do it by boat (I want him to buy the new MacPro 17" laptop so I can justify buying one, but he's insisting on the boat). He found a great used one for $5000 or "will trade." So we e-mailed:

From: Jenny Crusie
To: Bob Mayer
Maybe they'll trade it for the Explorer.
And $4950.

From: Bob Mayer
To: Jenny Crusie
The Explorer runs very well, thank you.
I'm putting bunks in the back for the 2007 book tour

From: Jenny Crusie
To: Bob Mayer
Excellent idea.
We need more alone time in a small space with a lot of carbon dioxide leakage.

From: Bob Mayer
To: Jenny Crusie
You know I could tax deduct the boat if we did a book tour up the Intracoastal.
Think SMP would go for it?

From: Jenny Crusie
To: Bob Mayer
I don't know, but I would.
A lot of Agnes is on boats. We should have put more of it on. You've got the master. Write it in.

From: Bob Mayer
To: Jenny Crusie
email me from your new computer and I'll be on my sinking boat

From: Jenny Crusie
To: Bob Mayer
We don't need no sinkin' boat.

From: Jenny Crusie
To: Bob Mayer
I crack myself up.

And then we went back to work on Agnes because the rewrite WILL be in to SMP on Jan 1 if it kills us both. Which it won't. Because judging from this blog, if 2006 and each other didn't kill us, we're indestructible.

29 Comments:

At 29/12/06 12:20 PM, Blogger glamour-geek said...

Ah, memory lane...ain't it grand? At least, in retrospect it is. Maybe not when we were all back there.

Thanks for the humor!

 
At 29/12/06 12:23 PM, Blogger McB said...

Some good times. I remember Bob and the hot chocolate post. And I think we knew something icky was going on back in August but not how bad it was. So thank you for not splitting up and making us decide who we were going to live with. Which probably would have been you, Jenny, because Bob doesn't blog on his own site.

Thank you Bob and Jenny, Jenny and Bob, Him and Her, and Her and He, for a fabulous year, for sharing the ups and downs, the spats and inspirations with us. But mostly for writing fabulous books, both separately and together, that distract us from the ups and downs of our own lives.

 
At 29/12/06 12:33 PM, Blogger Cary said...

Heee, heee, heee. Can we get pictures of the Explorer and the boat?

 
At 29/12/06 12:34 PM, Anonymous Louis said...

Chuckle

Scroll down

Chuckle

Scroll down

Laugh, Laugh

Scroll down

Jenny, You and He do write a delightful blog.

And He does select good scarves.

Looking forward to lotsa good, intriguing books.

 
At 29/12/06 12:44 PM, Blogger Lily said...

My last comment. Sniff. I'm definitely feeling nostalgic.Thank you, Bob and Jenny for a year's worth of entertainment and guidance. I'm looking forward to learning more from you in 2007.

I liked the hot chocolate affair. I loved the weather and George Bush keeping Jenny from the airport, and Needles. I laughed myself silly while reading about Moot's runin with TSA. I can't wait to hear what they make of Jill. .

 
At 29/12/06 1:31 PM, Blogger btuda said...

The Indestructible J&B. Love it.

I'm looking forward to what I'm going to learn in the upcoming year too. And you just know no matter what, there will be a few interesting tangents along the way.

 
At 29/12/06 1:40 PM, Blogger me said...

Jenny, you crack me up too. I'm really gonna miss all this snark between J&B. Will you sneak a little snark into the lessons?

Kinda weird this is almost the end of the world as we know it. Thank you again for letting us see how it all really works. It's been a honor. And a hoot.


hhpppe hazardously happy people portray pretend escapades

 
At 29/12/06 1:44 PM, Anonymous ZaZa said...

Jenny said...
The worst of all was the time at the beginning of August that we ended the collaboration.

Even though, clearly, you're still a team, that made a little hitch in my heartbeat. So glad you guys calmed down and worked it out.

ixpvzpl (red)
Is Xavier's puppy very zany? Puppy love!

 
At 29/12/06 1:56 PM, Blogger Robena Grant said...

Yep, no divorces. That's forbidden.
If you two start throwing things at each other, come visit the Bar and Grill and we'll counsel you. You're a great team and you've got something here that really works, and you've got a following that hang on your every word *grin* so keep the momentum going.

My personal fave, was Jenny narrating Bob's drive through NYC. I laughed 'til I cried, then I read it to my daughter and she cracked up. Her comment, "Oh my god that is so Dad." But then again, her Dad's also an ex- New Yorker, so go figure.

Thanks for the memories, 'twas fun.

 
At 29/12/06 2:13 PM, Blogger dee said...

I am so loving this week.
Thanks for the memories!
much love to you both,
and to all of my extended family of CherryBombs!

 
At 29/12/06 3:04 PM, Blogger Jennifer Talty said...

What amazes me is that one of you didn't kill us.

And Jenny, You crack me up!

Indulge yourself, buy the new computer. Enjoy.

Bob - buy the stinking boat. How can you live on the waterway and not have a boat? This is something that has always baffled my mind. And a kayak doesn't count. I have neighbors at the lake who don't have boats - what's the point?

Thanks for the laughs, the tears, the memories. 06 was interesting. Looking forward to great stuff in 07 (as long as I can figure out how to skip my b-day. I hate getting older).

See ya next year!

 
At 29/12/06 4:04 PM, Blogger marcia in ok said...

I'll chime in with all the rest.

THANKS for sharing your LTD tour with us. (The road trip blogs were my favs.)

And, I'm just saying, that if the HWSW Blog 2006 were to end up a book, I'd buy several copies. I'm just saying . . .

 
At 29/12/06 4:15 PM, Blogger McB said...

Ah yes. The infamous Speen Street and Jenny's hunt for a new coat in ... was it Cambridge? The Bickersons. Needles and Mother. Lost in Yonkers. Man the Moot signal! Poker playing clams and world's largest stuffed alligator. Flying Keyboards. Krispy Kreme bags. Mysterious chocolate boxes.

Thanks for the memories.

ngfeqlwk: Nice grammar, for elequent quotes, lives with kindness.

 
At 29/12/06 4:56 PM, Blogger rssasrb said...

The writing class is going to be good. I know, we all know the writing class is going to be good but how will we survive without posts like this one to make us snort our coffee into the computer.

Please. I know it is very greedy because you are both working on writing books for us to devour, but please, puhleaze write the Living the Dream book based on this blog.

Now I have to reread this post again. Some of the computer screen is still clear.

 
At 29/12/06 5:49 PM, Anonymous Kay T said...

Can't you just see poor Moot in her Krispy Kreme bad sitting in a lost luggage room in some airport. Someday she will be found and people will wonder... why is she smiling? what is she wearing? Did the people of 2006 worship alligators in drag?

 
At 29/12/06 6:28 PM, Blogger bon cheri bomb said...

Jen-t wrote: What amazes me is that one of you didn't kill us.

What amazes me is that both of you didn't take turns knocking us off one by one until only the two of you were left standing. The prospect of selling that many fewer books must have seemed a small price to pay, at times.

Ah well, if we all say it enough times it will happen: nothing but good times ahead. But to be honest, there are quite a few good times behind us as well. I've already said all the mushy stuff I plan to, so I'll keep it simple.

Thank you.


one last verification?

encjj: enough nonsense, cries jenny, justifiably

 
At 29/12/06 7:09 PM, Blogger McB said...

BCB said wonderingly:
What amazes me is that both of you didn't take turns knocking us off one by one


The hotel caper. Don't you remember? Two wandering authors, the mysterious Speen and the Maltese Flamingo. Then all the stalking fans start having 'accidents'. The police get involved giving our duo suspicious looks as they always seem to be in the vicinity when someone meets their demise.

"But we wouldn't do that," J cries in alarm.

"Geez," B says, "they buy the books, we wouldn't bump them off. Try to lose them maybe. But not permanently."

"Then maybe you can explain the curious incident of the dog in the night time?" queries the inspector.

"Huh?" J&B ask in unison, staring bewilderedly at the man.

The inspector flips a few pages in his notebook. "Oh, sorry. Wrong case."

 
At 29/12/06 7:35 PM, Blogger McB said...

For all you campers who are worried about being left out in the cold, we have shelter. Just follow the Moot Signal

Or if the link doesn't work, you can find the CB Bar & Grill by copying and pasting the following into your browser: http://cbbarandgrill.bjwcreations.com/

 
At 29/12/06 9:26 PM, Blogger Sheryl said...

Jenny and Bob, I will definitely buy the book LTD 2006. There were good times, some not so good times, great friends, shovels, Kit Kats tossed into the room first, and so many moments that I can't remember them all. But most enduring of all is the amazement at your stamina, gracious behaviour in the midst of the Cold that Would Not Die and snark - from both of you. You are great role models. Can I be both of you when I grow up?

I'll be one of the last ones out the door, dragging my butt to make sure I hear every muttered phrase before a boot hits it.

Nothing but good times.

 
At 29/12/06 10:01 PM, Blogger Sheryl said...

That would be my butt the boot was hitting not the muttered phrase. Sheesh. I knew my brain was fried today but that was bad.

 
At 29/12/06 10:30 PM, Blogger Scope Dope Cherrybomb said...

Not only will cherry magic sheryl be dragging her butt but she will have to haul mine out too. After all that's her job these days, hauling my a--butt everywhere.

I have already told you both, You and Him, how I feel about this blog and what it has done for me. You introduced me to a fun and educational blog with all these great CherryBombs hiding behind the door, in the comments. I will miss your quips so please, and yes I know you are busy writing, but please find time to come over and feel free to be snarky or hilarious in the CB Bar and Grill. After all Jenny you named it.

Now for a book update. I found "Crazy for You" and "Tell me Lies" today. I am currently reading Sizzle so I am a happy Cherry...bomb. I have read all Jenny's books but I passed them on or got them from the libraries as we moved around and did not keep them. So now I am trying to find them to keep. To be read and reread and reread and reread...like "Bet Me". The only trouble with the store was that it listed three other Crusie books on its computer but didn't have them in. Meanies!

Funny D Phrase

"Do men really run the world? If they do, why do they wear neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" Linda Ellerbee

green opeipm

Okay people, everyone is pretty miserable.

 
At 29/12/06 11:57 PM, Anonymous wapakwoman said...

Our kids gave us tickets to see Bob Seger tomorrow so I'm thinking this is my last post here and I am trying to say something coherent.

I can't.

This blog has been way too much fun and with the thrill of meeting him and her on the LTD tour, it became quite the year.

All of you have said it very eloquently before me.

Thank you Jenny and Bob for letting us LTD with you and the cast of characters that made up the last year.

I will see you all at the CB Bar and Grill.

Nothing but good times ahead

 
At 30/12/06 12:02 AM, Blogger DownUnderGal said...

I'm back from from Chrissy break and suffering badly from CB withdrawals. Over a week away is too long. And the end is nearly nigh - sob! It's taken me hours to read everything I've missed. I hope everyone had a good Xmas. The resort was great, a couple of usual family tensions but on the whole good. Ate too much, drank too much. Oh and it snowed in Victoria on Xmas Day - good for the fires but, WTF? It's hard up snowing enough in ski season in Victoria but in the middle of December? And who says there's no such thing as global warming (or freezing as was the case).

Anyway...

Thank you, thank you for the teasers. Great pressie. Shane and Agnes. Can't wait. Look out 2007.

One of my favourite blogs was the B&B at wherever it was. With the cowboy wallpaper and the teddy bear on the bed and the confused "when would you like breakfast" hostess keeping a keen eye on Jenny's virtue. I vote for that as my fav. Hey, can we have a vote on our fav at the CB Bar? That should stimulate many good memories and keep us going for a while in the New Year.

Jenny and Bob louis is right, you give good blog.

qkcqi - quietly klap crusie's quaint indulgences

 
At 30/12/06 12:09 AM, Anonymous Diane (TT) said...

You know, if everyone were as crazily generous with their time and knowledge as Jenny and Bob and worked so hard at their crafts, the world would be a much better place. Also, probably, funnier.

Thanks again, so much, for sharing the travails and travels and for keeping some scary stuff from us. Good futures to both of you, jointly and severally. I'll see you in the bookstores!

eucrbiz: euphoria undoes crying, recreating bliss in Zanesville.

onozalny: Oh, nostalgia only zones authors leaving no yearners

 
At 30/12/06 3:09 AM, Blogger orangehands said...

THANK YOU J & B !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is making me so sad. best place, best people, best teachers.

ok, gonna go read another outtake.

 
At 30/12/06 4:40 AM, Blogger inkgrrl said...

I sank on a boat once. Don't recommend it, as experiences go. Bob, buy more caulking. And a new bilge pump. And a whistle. Preferably one that tweets like a birdy.

 
At 30/12/06 6:23 PM, Blogger Patrice said...

"We need more alone time in a small space with a lot of carbon dioxide leakage."

Anchors Aweigh!

hmm, or maybe that should be A - Way!

Sail on, ah, er, power on, whatever, I'm landlocked in the desert.

 
At 30/12/06 6:27 PM, Blogger Patrice said...

Thanks for the reminder about the classic Speen Street Incident --

that was hysterical!

 
At 30/12/06 7:05 PM, Blogger Sheryl said...

That Speen Street blog made me laugh so hard when I saw Speen Street that I missed the darn turnoff into the hotel myself. Then came across a bunch of squirrels which sent me into further hysterics. Beacuse Bob is one with the furry rodents.

 

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