Lucille Armstrong
- Known Aliases:
- Lucy, Luce, Xena
- Age:
- 35
- Current Address:
- Wherever her Roadtrak is parked and her root beer is open.
- Education:
- New Jersey GED. Movie sets around the country.
- Work History:
- While visiting a friend in NYC, got pulled off the street to replace a PA that had been "nudged" by a cab. After assisting directors on a handful of projects, she began working on her own specializing in commercials with animals.
- Special Skills:
- Works well with animals, actors.
- Current Occupation:
- Finishing the last four days for a movie shoot after the original director died. Thinks it's going to be easy money. She's wrong. Which is unusual.
- Psychological Evaluation:
- Intimacy issues, control issues, savior complex.
Medical Evaluation: In excellent health except for the nights she wakes up screaming.
- Personal Relationships:
- Closest relationship is with her assistant director, Gloom. No, not that way.
- Troublesome Footnote:
- Keeps falling for macho military guys.
- Hobbies:
- Listening to her iPod, running the world.
- Favorite Music:
- Kirsty MacColl, especially “Us Amazonians.”
- Secret:
- Sometimes she wishes she were 5’2” and ditzy.
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J.T. Wilder
- Known Aliases:
- J.T.
- Age:
- 35
- Current Address:
- Wherever his Jeep is parked and his air mattress is laid out.
- Previous Military Experience:
- Infantry. Special Forces. Served everywhere but the electric chair, seen everything but the wind.
- Education:
- USMA-- his 'Rock-bound Highland Home." Aka Hudson High. Aka West Point. Iraq; Afghanistan.
- Work History:
- Infantry platoon leader. Recon platoon leader. A-Team Leader. Classified. Classified. Sort of Classified. Instructor JFK Special Warfare Center & School.
- Special Skills:
- Shooting; martial arts; hanging out of helicopters; keeping Rene LaFavre out of trouble.
- Current Occupation:
- Hired as Military Adviser to actor Bryce McKay. Thinks this will be the easiest job he's ever had. He's wrong as usual.
- Psychological Evaluation:
- Intimacy issues, control issues, woman issues, marriage issues (0 for 2).
- Medical Evaluation:
- He's breathing.
- Personal Relationships:
- Closest relationship is with his best buddy Rene LaFavre. No, not that way.
- Troublesome Footnote:
- Has trouble saying "I love you."
- Hobbies:
- Driving his Jeep. Drinking beer. Not at the same time.
- Favorite Music:
- Jimmy Buffet.
- Secret:
- What J.T. stands for.
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Penelope Lucille Armstrong
- Known Aliases:
- Pepper, P.L., Swamp Thing
- Age:
- 5
- Current Address:
- Wherever her mother, Daisy, takes her.
- Education:
- Home-schooled by mom and ahead of her time.
- Work History:
- Researching her Animal of the Month.
- Special Skills:
- Encyclopedic knowledge of certain animals, great with binoculars.
- Current Occupation:
- Assistant to the director, her Aunt Lucy, on the movie shoot of Don’t Look Down, watching the swamp with her binoculars to see the ghost, hearing everything.
- Psychological Evaluation:
- Amazingly sane considering her upbringing and family tree; needs companionship of children her own age.
- Medical Evaluation:
- In excellent health.
- Personal Relationships:
- Closest relationship is with her mother, Daisy. Second closest is with her surrogate father, Connor Nash, a stunt coordinator. Adores her Aunt Lucy. Thinks J.T. Wilder is the best.
- Troublesome Footnote:
- Tends to go off to fix things without checking with adults, much like her Aunt Lucy.
- Hobbies:
- Explaining things to people.
- Favorite Music:
- Kirsty MacColl, especially “They Don’t Know About Us.”
- Secret:
- She would like to live in a normal house and go to a normal school. Or be Wonder Woman. Or both.
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Gleason Bloom
- Known Aliases:
- Gloom
- Age:
- 28
- Current Address:
- Chelsea, NYC.
- Education:
- New School, NYC.
- Work History:
- Began as an assistant to Lucy Armstrong filming commercials, now in partnership with her.
- Special Skills:
- Outstanding at building teams, finding whatever's necessary, making things run smoothly.
- Current Occupation:
- First Assistant Director on Don't Look Down.
- Psychological Evaluation:
- Appears pessimistic, but actually amazingly sane.
- Medical Evaluation:
- Amazingly healthy.
- Personal Relationships:
- Closest relationship is with his life partner, Patrick. Second closest relationship is with his business partner, Lucy Armstrong.
- Troublesome Footnote:
- No trouble at all.
- Hobbies:
- Collect Western movie memorabilia.
- Favorite Music:
- The Dave Matthews Band.
- Secret:
- He has a crush on John Wayne
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Rene LaFavre
- Known Aliases:
- Swamp Rat. Numerous names he's been called by women. Good and bad.
- Age:
- he never says and never asks.
- Current Address:
- Wherever his helicopter is parked.
- Previous Military Experience:
- 101st Airborne. Task Force 160 Nightstalkers. Served everywhere but the electric chair, seen everything but the wind. Claims JT Wilder stole that line from him. And he probably did.
- Education:
- LSU. Bosnia; Iraq; Afghanistan.
- Work History:
- Lift Platoon Leader 101st Airborne. Classified. Exiled to a very small post in Antarctica for a year for 'conduct unbecoming' with his commanding officer's wife. Classified. SERE flight leader, Afghanistan.
- Special Skills:
- Flying. Women. Flying. Women. Rating strip clubs. Flying. More women.
- Current Occupation:
- Task Force 160, Instructor Pilot. Investing. In Ginny's future career as an exotic dancer. He's wrong as usual.
- Psychological Evaluation:
- No problem with intimacy. Problems with commitment. Problems thinking clearly when a woman is within one hundred meters.
- Medical Evaluation:
- He's breathing.
- Personal Relationships:
- Closest relationship is with his best buddy J. T. Wilder. No, not that way.
- Troublesome Footnote:
- Has no trouble saying "I love you." To any woman.
- Hobbies:
- Strip clubs. Drinking beer. At the same time.
- Favorite Music:
- Music they play in strip clubs.
- Secret:
- He really cares.
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Conner Nash
- Known Aliases:
- Quickdraw
- Age:
- 33
- Current Address:
- Wherever there's money to be made.
- Previous Military Experience:
- Australian Army: Infantry. Special Air Service. Black River Security.
- Education:
- High school. Iraq.
- Work History:
- Australian SAS: demolitions and weapons expert; stunt coordinator twelve films; stunt double for three Westerns; classified security work overseas for Black River Security; married to Lucy Armstrong for six months.
- Special Skills:
- Quickdraw expert. Worthless except when in a gunfight.
- Current Occupation:
- Overtly: Stunt Coordinator of Don't Look Down. Covertly: have to read the book.
- Psychological Evaluation:
- Intimacy issues, control issues, woman issues, marriage issues, Lucy Armstrong Issues, pathological liar, greedy.
- Medical Evaluation:
- He's breathing and he has shiny teeth.
- Personal Relationships:
- Closest relationship is with himself. Yes, that way.
- Troublesome Footnote:
- Has trouble being honest.
- Hobbies:
- Practicing his quickdraw.
- Favorite Music:
- Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
- Secret:
- He has a plan.
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Daisy Armstrong
- Known Aliases:
- Daize, Mom
- Age:
- 30
- Current Address:
- Whatever movie set she’s working on.
- Education:
- High School diploma from Winterburne High School in New Jersey.
- Work History:
- Started as a Scripty on sister Lucy's first solo project and has been working on movies, catching small inconsistencies and watching continuity ever since.
- Special Skills:
- Eye for detail, great memory, super concentration.
- Current Occupation:
- Script supervisor "Scripty" on Don’t Look Down.
- Psychological Evaluation:
- Envies older sister; trusts anyone who will take care of her; lets daughter roam free on movie sets.
- Medical Evaluation:
- Extreme anxiety disorder; taking Valium.
- Personal Relationships:
- Closest relationships are with her daughter and stunt coordinator Connor Nash who is like a brother to her; admires and resents older sister Lucy who has rescued her time and time again.
- Troublesome Footnote:
- Trusts all the wrong people.
- Hobbies:
- Denying reality.
- Favorite Music:
- Whatever’s on the Top Ten at the time.
- Secret:
- Wishes she were Lucy.
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Bryce McKay
- Known Aliases:
- The Bumbler
- Age:
- classified
- Current Address:
- The City of Angels when he's not on location.
- Previous Military Experience:
- Three days at Fort Bragg being taught by JT Wilder. Just enough to hurt himself and those around him.
- Work History:
- Started off-off-off Broadway-- New Jersey in fact. Had a walk on role the first season of "The Sopranos". People laughed at him even though he didn't mean to be funny. Led to more roles in small films. More people laughed. Several moderately successful comedies.
- Special Skills:
- Falling. Making people laugh.
- Current Occupation:
- Trying to transition from comedy to 'serious' film. Bad idea.
- Psychological Evaluation:
- Immature. Easily distracted by women. Uses fancy cars as substitute for his lacking in other areas. Yes, in that way.
- Medical Evaluation:
- He's survived so far.
- Personal Relationships:
- Closest relationship is with himself.
- Troublesome Footnote:
- Wants to be an action hero. In real life.
- Hobbies:
- Pretending to be an action hero. In real life.
- Secret:
- He knows he's not really an action hero.
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Althea Bergdorf
- Known Aliases:
- Alice Butterman (real name), Honey Will (screen name for Blow Me Down)
- Age:
- 22 and holding
- Current Address:
- Beverly Hills, in Bryce’s house.
- Education:
- High school diploma
- Work History:
- After a stellar performance (according to LaFavre) in Blow Me Down, she became the B-movie queen of Toronto. Nowhere to go but up from there.
- Special Skills:
- Acting, on and off the screen.
- Current Occupation:
- Finishing the last four days of Don’t Look Down in the breakout role of Annie.
- Psychological Evaluation:
- Driving need for security, especially as manifested in money and men.
- Medical Evaluation:
- In excellent health aside from her plastic surgery and implants. Her recklessness in confronting men she feels have wronged her could lead to problems.
- Personal Relationships:
- Closest relationship is with her co-star and lover, Bryce, but she keeps her options open; monogamy can be so confining.
- Troublesome Footnote:
- A firm conviction that the world revolves around her. Bryce has the same problem.
- Hobbies:
- Moisturizing.
- Favorite Music:
- The soundtrack to "The Sound of Music." If she'd done Maria, it would have been hot.
- Secret:
- Sometimes she fantasizes about being a librarian.
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